I turned 45 this past June Xth. I spent my 45 birthday by myself, broke, not living in my own home, and under the yoke of the law (probation). The only fun thing I did on that day was to run a 5k race at ----.  After the race, I noticed that I wasn't tense, miserable and I wasn't fighting with anyone.  Then I realized it was because my wife was not with me nagging at me.  This was a major revelation for me. After the race, I sat in my truck and watched myself turn 45 in the rear view mirror on the exact hour that I was born.  Each year I watch myself turn a year older on June 7th (LOL that's a joke of mine, but I actually do it for fun).

 I was kept from entering my own home for 3 months. I'm living at home with my wife now and have been for about 2 weeks. It's been very challenging. I've been walking on eggshells the entire time. Each weekend and virtually everyday, we do battle. I am fortunate right now because she's left town for a few days. She went to Chicago on a business trip.  I took her to the airport early yesterday morning.  That was a comedy of errors. We could make a dark comedy out of it, it's been journalized too.  She missed her plane (by 1 minute) and almost didn't go on the trip. I thought God was punishing me (again).  She'll be back Monday evening.  It was so nice to go home last night after work and finally have peace.  I was able to eat my dinner without being badgered to death.

I do recognize what is going on with this entire mess. The people running the DV and the substance abuse programs recognize/sense this too.  I have been singled out in both programs because of my world view and mostly because of the questions that I've asked. It's not that I have purposely challenged and tried to but heads with anyone. It's mostly based on questions that I have asked, and the fact that I won't admit to touching my wife during the incident.  That's because I actually did not touch her at all (chocked).  The folks running the DV program are extremely dangerous, delusional, and psychotic. I mean this with every fiber of my being. This has been journalized. You will see for yourself as the story unfolds. These people (DV/Justice/ industry/substance abuse) are obsessed with the concept of redemption and addicted to ever escalating punishment.  I'm seriously thinking of bringing a recording device to my classes to protect myself. Oh and don't think for a minute for one minute that the medical establishment isn't tied to any of this stuff too. Think of the drugs they can prescribe and the money to be made from Antabuse to Zoloft.  It's all part of the inter-locking corporate directives. This is the same medical establishment that wants to have control of our lives from the cradle to the grave.  Anyone that's sane would be frightened to death by all of this.

 
Chapter Two

 After she ran out the house, I sat down and thought about what just happened.  I was just glad that she was out of the house. I was still angry over what was said, the incident and for good reason.  That's how I felt at the time.   I went to lie down on my bed because it was getting late and I was exhausted. I laid there in a half asleep state for a few minutes.

 After a few minutes, the phone rang.  I didn't feel like talking, so I let it go to voice mail.  The phone kept ringing.  I got up and checked the voice mail.  There was a short message from the city police department asking me to come outside because they wanted to discuss what took place that evening. For a second I thought that this was a joke from one of my neighbors, but then I realized it wasn't.  I could hear people outside; I knew they were coming for me. Like a dog with a bone they wouldn't let go.

 Why are they involved with a screaming match between a husband and wife? That's what went thru my mind. I quickly felt a sense of urgency about the situation.  Thoughts raced thru my mind within seconds.  I felt betrayal, shock, trapped and just general wonder. I didn't want to deal with anyone at this point. I quickly thought what if I'm not even home from their perspective?  What if I already left the house? What if, I took a long walk and left before they got here?  The blinds were shut, and nobody could see into the house.  I thought, hop the fence run and hide.  They'll get tired and leave. 

Nothing had happened to warrant their arrival in the first place.  I made a move to the sliding glass door at the back of the house. I opened it quietly and looked all around.  There was nothing on my left, right, and nothing in the empty lot behind my house. I was surprised by this. The coast is clear! I hopped over the fence and kept a low profile going over. On the other side of the fence, I cut a small gash in my chin ditching myself into the tall grass.  I laid there for about a minute.  I thought it would be dangerous to be moving with them in the area. They'll never find me here. Let them pass. I'm well camouflaged, don't move be still. I can lie here all night if need be.

After laying there for about a minute I though why should I be running from my own house? Why are the cops involved in a screaming match in the first place? Why am I putting myself thru all of this?  This is just a big misunderstanding. So, I got up and hopped back over the fence and snuck back into the house. This entire process took just a few minutes. On further reflection of all this, it's amazing that they did not have the back of the house covered at all. You'll see what I mean as you read further along.  I had the sensation that I could move among them without their detection. In fact I was doing just that. I was hopping over fences, moving in the darkness, and going thru major entrances without their detection.

When I got back inside the phone was ringing. I answered it. The officer on the other end introduced himself and told me to come outside because they wanted to talk about what happened. I could tell by his voice that he wasn't being honest with me and that he wasn't in a receptive mood. I knew that there wasn't going to be any talking that night.  I told him I would give him a call back in a few minutes after I spoke to my attorney.  I ended the conversation.  I knew I wasn't going to get a hold of an attorney after 10 pm on a Saturday night.  So, I did the next best thing. I called a very good friend of mine. I figured at a time like this, it's always good to get a second opinion.  It was at this point while I was talking to my friend, that they started knocking on the door aggressively.  I told my friend the situation. He told me to answer the door, make no statements under any circumstance and go with them. Something told me to keep my friend on the phone while this was going on so I did.  They were trying to get me to open up with the excuse that they just wanted my wife's purse and jacket.  I knew this was ploy.  I opened the door and was arrested without incident.  My friend heard everything over the phone right up to the second the handcuffs went on. I was thrown in squad car and taken to the county jail.   


Chapter One

May 10, 2008:

This weekend had started out with a little tension right from the very beginning. This is not an unusual occurrence.  Most of my weekends start out that way. I tell myself that I have to go to work in order to relax.

 At any rate, my wife, who has an adult son from a previous marriage, was disappointed that he was not taking her out for Mother's day.  He was going to the Oregon coast that weekend with his wife. Because of this, my wife began the weekend in a very foul mood. Because she felt neglected by her son, her mood was fouler than the weather at the coast. I spent Saturday working around the house, buying plants, planting them and refinishing the fence. I even bought a gorgeous hanging flower basket for our front porch.

My wife decided to go into work on Saturday for most of the day because she was really swamped. This didn't do her mood any good. By 6:00 pm I called my wife at work to see if she was coming home soon.  We had planned dinner together for the evening, and I was looking forward to preparing it.   My wife stated that she was being very productive at work and she did not want to stop the momentum so she decided to stay a couple of hours longer. After hearing this, and after a long day of yard work, running around town, I decided to buy a 6 pack of beer from the corner market. When I got back from the market, I called my father who lives in Arizona. He's in a memory care facility because he has Alzheimer's and he has no family members around him in Arizona.  I spent some time with him on the phone and we had a wonderful conversation considering his condition.

Around 8:30 pm my wife arrived home.  We sat together in the living room listening to music and we talked some. I could see and sense something was bothering her.  I decided to let sleeping dogs lie, and not ask her a lot of questions. I though it was odd that she didn't drink her usual 2 or more glasses of wine that evening considering that it was Saturday night.

At around 10:00 pm I had mentioned to her that I spoke with my father on the phone earlier.   It was at this point that I noticed a sudden radical change in her demeanor.  Her reply to me was very hurtful, very personal and extremely vicious.  I was shocked by her comments concerning me, and above all, my father's condition. I had enough of her snotty disposition, insolence, and disrespect towards me and my father! I got up out of my chair, walked over to her, got into her face and shook the chair she was sitting in violently!  I told her to never speak about me or my father that way again!

During this face to face encounter a very strange feeling came over me.  It was like she was enjoying the entire thing.  It was as if, there was someone else behind those eyes of hers. The remarks she made were so personal, it was like they couldn't have come from her or anyone else for that mater. It almost seemed like they came from something inhuman.  She seemed delighted by it all. My rage and hurt satisfied her.  It was a very strange feeling. This lasted for a few seconds then I sat back down. I never touched her person, just the chair she was sitting in. It was at this point that she ran outside and across the street. That's when my problems really began.