Recently, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer was forced to confess his involvement in a prostitution ring. The story has been all over the media and many blogs have done posts compiling lists of other prominent men's fall from grace. But some of the most important questions aren't being asked. Mainly, how does this happen, especially to a man who has spent his life crusading against corruption? And how can other men avoid falling into the same trap?

The Sptizer case, while certainly high profile, is hardly a rarity. 25% of all American men (and some studies put the number even higher) will have extramarital affairs during their lifetime. Will you be 1 of the 4? Or will you be able to stay true?

Many people look at infidelity as if it was a natural disaster; no one could see it coming; it just inexplicably happened. Perhaps this


is because we are country that has abdicated its belief in personal responsibility. The truth is that not only can men see it coming, they can prevent it from happening as well.

It is possible to affair proof your marriage. Will it be a lot of work? Yes. But that's what you signed up for when you decided to marry your sweetheart.
What is cheating?

Before we begin our discussion on how to immunize your marriage against infidelity, we should establish what constitutes cheating. Having sex with another woman other than your wife is obviously cheating. But it's also possible to be unfaithful without having to go that far. Infidelity has shades of gray that should likewise be avoided. It is possible to be emotionally unfaithful without crossing any physical boundaries. A perfect example of this is online infidelity. More and more married men are having online romantic and sometimes sexual relationships with women other than their wife. While there's no physical contact, I would definitely say this is cheating. Men who "date" online are violating a trust that their wife has put in them to be faithful-both body and mind.

Now let's get down to business. Here are 14 ways to affair proof your marriage:
Make your Marriage Your #1 Priority

This past summer my wife and I spent a week in Montpelier, Vermont. If you were to picture the ideal small American town, Montpelier would be it. It's an absolutely charming place. One of the town's tourist brochures carried the tagline: "Places like this don't just happen." The citizens of Montpelier have put in a lot of work to maintain the town's magic.

Similarly, successful marriages don't just happen. You have to be willing to put in the effort. This is especially true as couples get busier with careers, kids, or community activities. Those things are important, but if you want a strong marriage, your wife must come first.

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