January 4, 2012
My ExFirst of a series about Misguided love.
"I chose to ignore the warning signs for the usual reasons. She was beautiful and I wanted a relationship and a family."
by Derek
(henrymakow.com)
The article " My marriage is a living hell" took me back to a debate I had with my ex fiance; and I felt compelled to ask readers: "Is swearing abuse?"
In this instance, I was being nagged about a new Kayak. My fiance felt I should not have bought it. I was not allowed to go hunting as well. I was not being asked; I was being told. I didn't say much and just listened. At the end, I put my hands up in air and said "you are f**king stressing me out"
Wham! I've never seen a person mobilize so fast. She was out the door...
didn't even take her jacket. After a few days I tracked her down at her
parents place and was told sharply that she will not tolerate "verbal abuse."
And by the way, I'm a very cruel man etc. (I'm not a big cusser by the way.)
This built on many strange experiences I had with her. In another instance
we were fooling around etc and I jokingly said "it must be laundry day." "Your bra doesn't match your shorts."
That resulted in a slap in the face, and after some commotion, she was out the door. A little puzzled, I calmly followed her out to the driveway. She hit the gas and ran over my foot.
In hindsight, this women was crazy. It took me years to understand just
what the hell happened. Looking back, there were warning signs. I'll admit, I chose to ignore them. She was beautiful and I wanted a relationship and a family.
I bought the farm. Actually I sold the farm for this woman. I sold investments and a rental property in order to buy a house closer to where she worked as a lab technologist
The author in the article I referred to above, makes a good point: look at her parents!
In her family, her mom wore the pants big time! She said jump and her dad said how high?
One of her favorite points of attack was alcohol. She very effectively
turned me into a drunk. I recall being in a liquor store with her. We were
selecting a bottle of wine to go with dinner.
Out of nowhere she says to me very sharply "If I ever EVER
see you drunk, that will be the end of us." Hmmm ok, I'm not sure where
that was coming from but alright.
With her parents, there was always some strange behavior with alcohol.
Many time I sat around the kitchen table with her father. As soon
as it was just me and him, he would dart into a secret
cabinet whip out some cognac shots whispering "quick, quick"
The poor guy even had to borrow money at work for a cup of coffee as
mom wouldn't give him an unsupervised dime (My fiance shared that with
me)
She told me point blank told that I am stupid, foolish worthless and
that somehow I will ultimately destroy myself if I make decisions
independently or challenge her on what is right and wrong.
I'm still here.
--
We welcome horror stories about ex's, so long as they are amusing. Send to hmakow@gmail.com
Henry Makow is the author of A Long Way to go for a Date. He received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto. He welcomes your feedback and ideas at
