Reflections of a "Socially Awkward Person"
January 2, 2013

"These people have what I've wanted for so long, and this is how they spend their lives? On this junk?" I thought.
Some time afterward, I thought about what it was that I really wanted. Was it just friends? Did I just want to have people to regularly hang out with? Was it romance?
I pondered on all of this, when it began to hit me:
I wanted to be loved.
I wanted someone that actually cared about me as a person, a love that was not based on sex. A love that did not make me out to be more than I am, but let me know that I was held in high esteem in their hearts.
But I ran into a problem: Was I actually worthy of such a love?
I had very little social ability and was not considered enjoyable company by most. Who would honestly consider me worthy of such love and affection?
It was not long ago that I came upon your website the words that summed it all up: Love is self sacrifice; we love those who love us.
When we can honestly say that we expect nothing in return from someone and would give ourselves up for them, and they can say the same for us, then we can say we love each other. But do any of us exhibit such a love?
GOD
I hated that others didn't enjoy themselves around me, but I knew that there were others I avoided as well. I hated my lack of success in romance, but I knew there were women I would refuse to even give a chance.
Love is self sacrifice; we love those who love us. May your love for each other grow and you focus on the eternal.
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The Unabridged Article

Comments for "Reflections of a "Socially Awkward Person""
Dee said (January 3, 2013):
More to the point, Henry... most of us don't know what love IS.
When you don't know what a rose looks like, you could be in a plot full of them
and not know what they were...
ps... I wrote this years ago... I include it because I consider you to be the eternal romantic, though a lot of others see you otherwise, I dare say... which, of course, makes me laugh....
Love Revealed
Love is not a feeling....
Love is a state of being,
The state of oneness, of unity.
A state of absolute peace,
With no conditions to attack the safety within:
The state in which the effort each gives
To make the other happy
Is returned as joy at the moment of giving,
And in which to harm the other
Would truly be to wound oneself.
Being one, how could it be otherwise?
In this state,
Could one seek to control the other, or harm the other,
And yet lay claim to love?
And if the other's path should lead away,
Could one seek to intervene,
Stealing the other's happiness to preserve one's own?
Love is always shared,
For it is the sharing.
In our unity,
We share a state of being.
Adrian said (January 3, 2013):
Respect to Carson for his article. My two comments:
Love, Truth, Justice are inseparable. Blind love is not love at all. The evil of repeat drug offenders, bestial sexual behavior and media-lobotomized frivolity worshipers is to be considered repulsive. Love is not blind acceptance of another's evil behavior. A major component of Love of a child is to guide it in Truth and Justice. Love must always be in this context. This is not to admit hate into our hearts.
Religious fundamentalism is certainly not an answer to anything. There is no evidence that that mere belief and wishing have any effect on a person's destiny. Examination of our hearts, behavior, actions and the beauty and perfection of God's Creation will affect a person's destiny. The Golden Rule "Treat others as one would like others to treat oneself" really is all the "religion" anyone ever needs.
Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at






Henk said (January 5, 2013):
If "Love' is 'self'-sacrifice, and I be-lieve it is, what remains then when ultimately 'self' is sacrificed? Whose consciousness is it that sweeps up the last traces of 'self' in our minds..., making Love complete...?
It is the Consciousness of Him, our Father, out of whom we came and which is within us, who Loves us, and thus Unites us, by lifting our blindness, our perception of 'self' (which we identify as 'self will') in order that we dis-cover our identity to who we really are. Then, when we have died to 'self', 'self'-sacrifice is completed and we are united with the One who has loved us from the beginning. This is the perfect outworking of Trust..., of Love..., of Marriage..., indeed of Faith.