Feminist Thinkers Talk about their Sad Personal Lives

From Susan Mitchell. Icons, Saints and Divas: Intimate Conversations with Women who Changed the World (New York: Harper Collins, 1997.)

Marilyn French
The War Against Women, Ballantine Books, New York, 1992.
The Women's Room, Summit Books, New York, 1977.

"My father didn't ever exist as a presence in my life. There's no point in even talking about it. He didn't care about us, he never had anything to say about anything. He just was there; the moneymaker to whatever degree there was money. We were very poor." (78)
"I was unhappy in school and I was unhappy at home because it was a very unhappy household. My father had no relation to us except we occasionally felt the breath of his hate." P. 79.
"I grew up into a person who felt that the truth of the experience, of any experience, was the sorrow of it and that I had to find the sorrow within everything if I expected to know anything about anything." P. 80.
"What I wanted more than anything was to be sexual. I was filled with desire but I was terrified of being sexual. My mother had filled me with terror because she said, 'I only did it once and it didn't even go in all the way and it ruined my life forever. I had to marry your father. Look at me, look at my life.'" P. 82
"Most men... want to be dominated." P. 82.
"The children were not particularly a joy to me. I don't think there was any joy in my life." P. 83.
"I was fifty when I moved to New York and fifty-three when I had my first affair with a woman. It happened because she pursued me. She was someone I was attracted to but I had great reservations about getting involved with a woman because I didn't believe that I felt the same kind of desire for women that I did for men, which I think is true. But she was very seductive and she was very loving to me. I was with her for about five years..." Pp. 154-155.
"What I learned from that relationship is the double standard that I maintained. I took shit from her that I would never take from a man." P 156.

Robin Morgan
Sisterhood is Powerful, Vintage Books, 1970.
The Anatomy of Freedom: Feminism, Physics, and Global Politics, Anchor Press, New York, 1982.

"[My mother] invested well the money I earned [as a child actor]. I never saw any of it. And when I said that I wanted to leave the business and get my own apartment and move out from her, she said I never would see any of it. And I didn't. Not a penny. She was able to buy herself a co-op apartment on Upper Fifth Avenue and live and live quite well out of my childhood earnings. She did her stocks and bonds obsessively on the phone with her brokers all the time and I came to loathe that so much." P. 96.
"I fell in love for the first time with a woman. God knows I had tried through the years to do this. There was a period in the 70's where I was the only radical feminist, a nationally known spokesperson, who was married. Much less a mother. Any other radical feminist was either a lesbian feminist or was heterosexual but single. When I fell in love with a woman everything seemed to come together finally - the politics, the emotion, the sexuality - and the relationship lasted for almost three years." P. 98.
"Kenneth was founder of a GLF, of gay liberation - he counted himself as a gay man. One would obviously categorize him as bisexual but Kenneth was gay when I married him. His former lover was our best man." P. 104.
"I'm a workaholic and I'm a control freak; obsessive-compulsive, anal-retentive." P. 107.

Gloria Steinem
Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions, Holt, Rinehart & Winston, New York, 1983.

“My mother was depressed and spent a lot of time in bed….I’m not introspective..” (122)
“By the time I was 15, I was living alone with my mother in Toledo in this rat-infested ramshackle house my mother inherited.”(123)
“My father was living in California at that time. He didn’t ring up but I would get letters from him and saw him maybe once r twice a year…”(124)
"When I was in college it was the McCarthy era and that made me a Marxist." (p. 130.)
"I really believe that we are all bisexual an probably we're socialized one way or the other. It's wonderful now to see young women and some young men too who really do fall in love with the person not the sex." (132.)

Naomi Wolf
The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women, Anchor Books, New York, 1991.

"I cannot tell you how great it was to be a teenager in San Francisco in the 70's... If you weren't bisexual in high school you had to pretend to be in order to be socially acceptable." (182).

Kate Millett
Sexual Politics, Garden City, New York, Doubleday, 1970.
The Invention of Heterosexuality, Dutton, New York, 1995.

"Probably everyone has contemplated suicide. I did, and a number of times very seriously. But the work goes on and there is always something else to finish, that does sustain me. There's so much injustice of more and different kinds." P. 240.

Germaine Greer
The Female Eunuch, Bantam, New York, 1972

My family was an example of “the unbroken home that ought to have been broken…My father had decided pretty early on that life at home was pretty unbearable….it gave my mother an opportunity to tyrannize the children, and enlist their aid to disenfranchise my father completely.” (Eunuch 345)