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Straight Girl Adrift in a Gay Society

February 12, 2014

Miami is absolutely
the worst place
to be a woman.

by Yara

I am a 26-years-old female and I can identify with everything Wendy's saying.

To start with, it's getting harder and harder to be in a real relationship in the current modern environment. I am not a very modern woman nor do I want to be. I'm terrified of casual sex, drinking until I lose my consciousness, doing drugs, meeting with strangers and I despise competition and revealing clothing.

HIV-Distribution-in-the-US.jpgI moved 11-years ago to Florida, Miami and this is absolutely the worst place to be a woman. I want you to take a hard look at the HIV map of Florida and Miami. We are number one for HIV rates in the whole country. In 2012, 1.2 per cent of the Dade County population was HIV positive.

Coincidentally the number of homosexuals is also high. Apparently any area where gay sex is taking place, diseases rates go up and this also affect straight people.

Women dress provocatively and most men of course do not respect women and do not want anything serious with us. Most women are bi and men that look straight can be secretly bi or secretly gay; it's a surprise box.

Dating and relationships are a joke; my only relationship lasted less than a month and the guy did not even wanted to drive to my house and he was lazy.

Everything is backwards, nobody cares about anything other than money. I have only one friend as a consequence, and suffer in silence because I am not "The money-hungry career bitch" that is required to be successful.

I was teased at my last job for being a virgin, made fun of and discarded. I did not grow up in the United States and my parents expect me to live up to the American dream fantasy.

I don't want to and it causes problems for sure. Disease got me by surprise. I developed a thyroid condition and most recently a heart condition and I don't want to be here no more but I feel it's the same everywhere you go.

The independent women concept is highly strange as we are required to be alone at all times, live alone, dine alone, sleep alone. Don't need anybody; just be super women yet research shows it is unhealthy to live alone .What should I do?

It seems women of my kind are not appreciated anymore and you have to be aggressive to get somewhere but I want to be a lady.

I'm already diseased and don't have the energy and will to do anything about it. I don't care about money or material stuff and many jobs do not satisfy me at all. What should I do?


First Comment from Mary:

I hope it is some comfort that you are not alone. I am a 26 year old Canadian woman, married, with a baby. I was once in a similar position. I was raised in a traditional Christian home with a homemaker mother and breadwinner father. I had a fantastic upbringing and was trained to respect my father and make a beautiful home with love and peace. Imagine my horror, when I entered my twenties in search of a husband like my father. Almost all the men I dated expected sex upfront after 2 -3 dates; they treated me like I was an anomaly when I said I was saving myself for marriage. My girlfriends at work ridiculed me for being "old fashioned." The funny thing was, they would go sleeping around and partying on weekends....yet they seemed angry and frustrated all the time. None of them had boyfriends either, just hook ups from the bar.

Anyway, I finally did find my traditional man who treats me like gold! He said it was so nice to find a girl with values. We married young....our 5 year wedding anniversary is coming up soon. His family and friends discouraged him from marrying me.....Why? Because I wanted to be a stay at home mother! We have had struggles of course; he was unemployed for awhile and money was tight...but I stood by him. I was raised to stand by my man. 

My advice is to stay single, until you meet a nice, traditional Christian man. They do exist....but are hard to find. Try joining a church or a Christian dating site

Dan adds:

"Worst place for a woman".... is anywhere with a visible gay population.    It's true, and not new.  I heard those words from a 30 year old woman I worked with in an office job back in 1979. She had moved back to the Bible belt from San Francisco California. One day she described how damaging it had been to live in a place where the men didn't like girls.  She said "girls here take it for granted when men smile at them or open doors, pay attention to them.  But in San Francisco men don't just ignore you, a lot of them hate women.  You can tell from the way they look at you.  I had men rudely bump into me on the street, cutting in lines.  It was worse than being ignored.  It's like I was subhuman."

She stuck it out for six years for a job that paid three times what she'd get in the South, but w hen she turned 30; "I looked in the mirror and started to cry. I was getting fat, wasting my life."  She said she felt like came back to life being in a place where men noticed her again.

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "Straight Girl Adrift in a Gay Society "

Ben said (February 15, 2014):

I can't imagine what is it like to move to an environment that is hostile to your beliefs and values. It must be hard for you. But never fear, God is there for you if you seek His guidance for He will surely guide those who seek His help.

In the mean time to keep you sane and happy, may I suggest you keep in the company of like minded people who "don't drink", "hates reveling clothes", "terrified of casual sex", and definitely happy to be ladies as there are well respected and honored. But where can I find such people you ask? Well the Islamic community of course! As well some traditional Christian family oriented communities. Just do a google search in your area.

Here, I came across this article a few days ago and I thought maybe you would find it interesting.

Anisha said (February 14, 2014):

Dear Yara,

To your own self be true and trust that nature and its laws of attraction have a way of bringing us to whom and where we need to be. There is an important book written by Miguel Angel Ruiz called, 'The Four Agreements'. These are based upon Toltec wisdom. There is one that says: "Never take anything personally". What did the Nazarene say? "What is that to thee, follow me"...

So when you look around and you 'see' women dressing provocatively, and guys getting turned on by each other, so what? That is their experiences. What is yours? What will you create? Your life is a miracle to even be here. While there is darkness, if you increase your vibrations of happiness you will be guaranteed to 'see' so much beauty and wonder, so much caring and true love.

I am glad you wrote your thoughts and experiences and shared them here so just the right people could bring their unique love and care to you. Reading the other's comments was heartwarming and loving. Good advice and encouragement for you.

I am 57 now but I certainly can relate to your story b/c that was once me too. I have a wonderful husband and two grown, strong beautiful children. My oldest daughter is just two years younger than you and she was in Theatre for a couple years in Toronto and left that 'Gay scene', so her complaints are similar.

About the thyroid. There is just so much you can do to balance this and if your Will is strong to live I trust you will seek out and follow the instructions very carefully. Of course you will naturally get well if your Will is strong.

Jed said (February 14, 2014):

Having read Yara's story and lived in the Miami area for over 4 decades I will share some observations and suggestions.

First, Miami is a very diverse city with many cultures present. What is most visible and trendy doesn't represent everyone in the area; people who are seeking social status and superficial desires will often go after money, power, random sex, etc., but that is their immaturity and insecurity and it is the part of their journey they are on at the moment, with whatever lessons it will bring them, so don't be disturbed by it.

If you are authentically drawn to certain values and interests that are yours (not just your family's, peer's, or mass media's pressure pushing you to be a certain way) then be true to yourself and seek out people with similar interests. You can look for organizations and groups that would interest you and get to meet different people.

Do a Google search or look on Love yourself and be confident and content with who you are then you will naturally attract compatible people into your life. It doesn't matter what percentage of the people in an area are gay or straight or bi or anything else, we each encounter what we need to experience for our own personal spiritual journey.

The health issues are things that can be healed naturally, it is true that chlorine, fluoride, and bromine (bromine is used in processing breads) can all disrupt the thyroid, lack of iodine and selenium are also an issue - Dr. Brownstein has written a good book on healing thyroid issues.

Yet healing the chakras is also important - the heart represents emotions and self-love, so practice forgiveness and learn to love and appreciate yourself more, not taking it personally that a lot of people around you have different values.

The throat represent communication, self-expression and self-confidence. Speak clearly, confidently, and respectfully to others with your truth, assert who you are and don't worry or be bothered by how other people wish to live. Best wishes from Miami.

Kyle said (February 14, 2014):

Stay strong Yara, the world needs more girls like you, I would recommend trying out the religion of Islam to give the best tools for combating America's godless society, Muslim men will take good care for you, your Muslim brother

Rich said (February 13, 2014):

If you are looking for a very good site to find more traditional people, then check out

I found two of the best gf's on that site, one of whom I've been with for ten years now. It is a smaller site but still has a lot of people on it. I recommended it to another guy looking for a good woman and he also found a great girl on there too. Of course you have to weed out the good from the bad as this corrupt society has effected everything and everyone.. but the two best relationships I've had were two women from that site.

All the best to you.

Tony B said (February 13, 2014):

The two major causes of thyroid problems are never, ever mentioned by American establishment doctors. Most of them have no clue. All they learn as doctors is what drug to use to cover up what symptom of ill health.

One common cause is the poisoning of American water with chlorine and fluoride. Both are in the water because they kill. They kill bacteria but they are also no good for people. People are almost always better off with the bacteria. These two "fickle" poisons (they combine chemically with almost everything, the cause of the trouble) cause all sorts of debilitating illnesses, carpal tunnel problems being a common one. Actually, fluoride is dumped in our water mostly as a means for two giant industries (aluminum and certain fertilizer) to get rid of their toxic waste, with which they could no longer lawfully pollute the ground or the ocean.

Another cause is soy. Soy is poison to living creatures unless fermented and almost never in American products is it fermented. It must be one of the cheapest fillers in existence because you can hardly find a processed "food" which is not laced with it and equally destructive (especially of the liver) high fructose corn syrup. Even ice cream and candy bars. Soy is a common cause of thyroid problems. It actually kills birds and small animals fairly quickly when over used in their feed, as long proven but covered up by the gigantic soy industry. There has not been any non GMO American soy in over twenty years and all GMO products are destructive of life, in a growing number of horrible ways it is being learned.

Try to find clean well water and eliminate as much soy from your intake as possible. The thyroid and other health problems will disappear.

M said (February 12, 2014):

I just wanted to tell Yara not to give up and do what I did when I thought I was going crazy; I genuinely for the first time in my life prayed to God and asked him that if he exists and Loves me to show himself to me in some way.

2 weeks later he lead me to a Young Adults group in a Church and soon after a Gave my life over to Jesus!

If you genuinely ask God for help he will not Refuse to answer in some way, more so he will answer in the Best Way!

Oh yeah, and tell her I will pray for her situation to improve

Doug said (February 12, 2014):

Yara sounds like a dream come true. Such women are in demand with real men that want to have families. Tell her to keep her chin up and to get the hell out of America. This place is the pits. She will find her proper place in a real country that still has morals -- NOT this modern day Sodom.

Jackie said (February 12, 2014):

From Jackie M., for article: Miami is absolutely worst place to be woman

Sad to hear that Yara, but there are "islands" in Miami where you can escape. One has the website:

Most-likely you get healed of your sickness there and get spiritual help. They have phone number for contact.

Those people are aggressive in asking for money in their services (as you said in Miami money counts) but that is for their members, you do not have to give if not a member, but you get your healing free. This people are also against sexual promiscuity and deviancy, and do not believe in sex outside of marriage. They communicate both in English & Spanish. There are other "islands" like that in Miami, pray that the Lord Jesus will lead you to the right one.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at