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My Mother -- Love is Self Sacrifice

May 14, 2017

mothers-day13.jpg

(left. My mother feeding my brother in 1958)


Mother's Day 

By her example, my mother,
Helen Iskowicz Makow (1919-1983),
taught me that love is sacrifice and
devotion to others. But,
I didn't learn to return this love 
until it was too late.









(Updated from May 10, 2014)
by Henry Makow Ph.D.



When the Illuminati are making young women unfit for marriage and motherhood, I am glad to see Mother's Day enjoying a vogue. Restaurants are booked solid as families prepare to honor mothers for their sacrifice.


My biggest regret is that I never expressed my love to my mother before she died in 1983 of breast cancer, when I was 33. I think she knew I loved her but I was still too self-centered to repay her in kind. I remember with embarrassment sitting in her hospital room
marking term papers during an extended visit. When people are dying, we cannot really say our goodbyes. We want to maintain the hope of recovery.

mothers-day12.jpg(Left. The nuclear family is the building block of a healthy society. Dad took this picture of us.)

My mother showed me how a woman brings love into the world by her selfless dedication to her husband and children. When someone totally sacrifices for you, when someone is unconditionally for you, you can't help but love them with all your heart.

I don't have to tell you that mothers are the unsung heroes of society. They do the difficult, thankless work of caring for and rearing children in sickness and in health. 

My mother's credo was to serve her husband first, children second, Canada third and Israel fourth. She wasn't on her list.

She never demanded anything in return and as result we took her for granted. We all exploited her.

She was so selfless that I remember noticing when once she took a choice cut of meat for herself at dinner.

Once, when I was eleven and doing a TV appearance in NYC for "Ask Henry," a producer showed us the sights in his little convertible sports car.

We got into an accident. The car door flew opened and my mother fell on to the pavement.

I screamed in panic, "Mom!"

Thankfully, she wasn't hurt. But afterward she remarked, with satisfaction, "You do love me."
 
Why did it take an accident to show her that?

My mother didn't finish high school and didn't read books. But she had a sophisticated stamp collection and made batiks.

When I was eight-years-old, I told her about an incident that occurred at school. She told me to be strong and stand up for what is right. 
This is called "moral courage," she said. 

You don't learn this in school. God Bless Her.







Scruples, the game of moral dilemmas




Comments for "My Mother -- Love is Self Sacrifice "

David M said (May 15, 2017):

Your latest article is spot on about your mother. We have no idea just how blessed we are to have great moms. My mom was always there for me even though I took her for granted. For me, it has been almost five years since my mother passed away.

Before she died, the last words I ever spoke to her were "Mom, I love you. I love you too son." After I said these words, my pops took her to the hospital where she later passed away that night. My mom wanted me to be successful in my own life. My two regrets are that I never got married and gave her at least one grandchild by the time she went to heaven.

My mom was a warrior who fought to the last minute of her life. I never knew she was dying. She never told me she was. She just did not want anyone to know what she was really going through. She made the ultimate sacrifice for me and my pops.


Al said (May 10, 2016):

Say what you want about the most important jobs there may be in any existing culture; you would get lawyers, doctors, engineers, teachers, etc., however, mothers have the most crucial jobs of all; because they are responsible for them all. Thank God for that, after all, no matter what the social engineers claim, the only successful thing a village ever raised, was the idiot. Thanks for sharing


Marlene said (May 9, 2016):

No way that I could not respond your beautiful tribute to your mother ... Thank you -- straight from your heart, it brought tears ...

My mother too, was exactly like yours -- she lived only for her "beloveds" -- my father, my two brothers and me!
Born, the youngest of a large family, she happily attended everyone's needs, thrilled to wear clothes which her sibling sisters had outgrown.
She too, was not well-educated ... but like your mother, upright and with the inborn wisdom of an old soul, she lovingly kept us on the 'straight and narrow".

So along with your salute to your wonderful mother, I salute my wonderful mother too!

If I may -- treasure to your heart, that your mother, although long since gone, more than ever, knows that you loved her ...

Warm regards ...

From a reader who appreciates your writings and the moral courage your mother passed on to you!


Roy said (May 8, 2016):

A few years ago I had the pleasure of recording a special tribute for Mother's Day.

You can find it at the top of the list at [email protected]

I hope you and mothers everywhere enjoy it. Of all the things I have recorded in my life
this along with my religious recordings, "The Bible", etc, is among my favorites. I hope you enjoy it.


David R said (May 7, 2016):

Enjoyed your article about your mother on mother's day. Here are some images I found interesting and want to share with you. In the picture by the lake, your mother was wearing a pretty dress, and a smile on her face as she displays her love for her beautiful WHITE children. Her smile exposed nice white teeth, because I believe she did not smoke. Your mother was pretty and presented herself in a clean and wholesome feminine image. Lucky you and your brother and sister to be the creation of this lovely lady.


Paul said (May 7, 2016):

Micah 2:9 says, " You drive the women of my people from their pleasant homes. You take away my blessing from their children forever." We learn about God from our mothers. I had an abusive mother but I'll never forget how she still would get up early on cold winter mornings, re-light the fire in the coal furnace and try to make breakfast in an uninviting setting while the rest of us slept. That small sacrifice certainly didn't go unnoticed. even if it was all I had.


JG said (May 7, 2016):

I was blessed to be born into a Nuclear Family in the once Christian America of the 1950's. We had 3 children with a father that worked and a stay home Mom. Believe it or not, this was once the norm in America.

My Mother is an Orthodox Christian which is even a greater blessing.

Love never ended or started with kind words because she believed that it was always your actions that defined who you were. An apology yes, but a speech on love, never.
I remember once when I was going through a period of despair and unhappiness she told me that this was a punishment for the sinful life I had been leading for many years. She didn't lie and sugarcoat things just to make me feel good.

I was never raised to believe that God was a Santa Claus and that mommy's little boy could do no wrong.
My feelings today go to the young people out there who have had their families ruined by divorce, materialism, and immorality. I have a good friend who wants contact with his Mother but she still refuses to talk to him to this day.

They once showed a commercial here of a young born baby asking why everyone was running away from him. If this doesn't sadden you than maybe nothing will. Life was not meant to be this way.

We are in the closing days now and will be reaping a whirlwind of judgement soon.

However, we can still hold on to the life that once was in our hearts and keep our memories of the godly people we were blessed to have in our lives.


Dan said (May 11, 2015):

It really touches me, to read of the disappointment of D [below], the mother whose daughter was indoctrinated into the cult of feminism at McGill. I hope the young woman will realize eventually her own childishness to put her mother down and reject her for being a mother instead of a selfish careerist.

I think any emotionally mature man or woman, sitting in the waiting room of a female doctor, seeing there a full time mother with two or three children, will respect the doctor, but they will admire the mother, for it's the loving sacrifice of these that give us all the doctors, great scientists, statesmen, philosophers, leaders, and you name it.

A feminist is just like a man in the respect that she will ever only produce one 'professional' - herself. A mother - the real woman - can produce many.

--

D writes:

P.S. to the article on Mother's Day
Dan, now I am touched.
Just letting you know - my daughter DID send me a rather kind email in the evening. She acknowledged the differences between us, but expressed words of gratitude and hope that things can get better. Gratitude should not end in words, I know, but she meant it when she spoke them. :-)
It is better than nothing and there IS hope. These indoctrinators are very powerful, but truth, even when persecuted, humiliated and outlawed, is more powerful still, and always wins in the end. I pray my daughter's love for truth will be greater than her love of self, and will help her see through the layers of lies - to emerge battered yet victorious.


Bill S said (May 11, 2015):

I once asked my father, "Dad, why did you marry mom?" He replied immediately, "Because your mother is the kindest person I have ever met." I agree. She had a pure heart of love. Quite innocent in the ways of the world. Although she could connive on occasion. She bought me a cream colored sport jacket once for $100 and warned me not to tell my father how much it cost, since he would throw a fit. She was always available by phone when I needed someone to talk to. I wish I could have talked to my dad that way, but could not. Dad was all business. Willing to help or give advice, but make it short and sweet - kind of like when you are presenting your case before a judge. My mom could read between the lines - and she cared enough to dig deeper. Yet she knew when to back off and respect my personal boundaries. My parents were both good people who did the best they could to love each other and love us kids. I miss them alot. I hope they are reunited in heaven with my sister and cheering me and my brother on as we continue here on this troubled planet. It would great to see them again some day - young and vibrant, no pain, no money pressures.


D said (May 10, 2015):

How sad for me.

I was a dedicated mother to my only daughter. I, like your Mother, taught her to always stand up for what is right. Sometimes it cost her, but she knew there was a price to pay, and she had me to support her. I taught her that with freedoms and privileges come responsibilities. I taught her to work hard, use her many gifts in service of others, and to be honest.

Then she left for McGill University and never came back. She left the city and she left me. She is a feminist now. I discovered her man-bashing (her father is a good man, generous and kind) on social media and confronted her. That didn't go well. She told me I made no contribution to society (I have two degrees from two different universities, but am unemployed). She hates babies for a reason unknown to me and ridicules her friends who have children as stupid. When I tried to to tell her about the persecution of those who rather than supporting the ego-centrism of homosexuals playing home for adopted children, stand up for the right of children to a mom and a dad (when possible), she called me a hater.

I did not receive a card or an email from her.

When I tried to talk to her, she responds emotionally, not as an intelligent young woman she definitely is. She graduated with a science degree, after all.

This education system is diabolical. I has formatted my daughter into a politically correct, leftist moron.


Robert K said (May 10, 2015):

My mother was unstintingly loving too. Pause today to think of all the people in the world who have not experienced this example in their lives and how morally impoverishing this is. "They know not what they do"--how could they?

"When someone totally sacrifices for you, when someone is unconditionally for you, you can't help but love them with all your heart." Jesus, anyone?

"Amor vincit omnia" is the essential lesson of Christianity, long since abandoned by vast numbers of people professing themselves to be Christians.


Malak said (May 12, 2014):

In the spirit of your moving article about your departed mother, I'd like to share the following well-known sayings of Prophet Muhammad, upon him blessings and peace. A man once came to him and asked, "Who among the people is most deserving of my good companionship?" The prophet replied, "Your mother." The exchange continued:

"Then who?" "Then your mother." "Then who?" "Then your mother." "Then who?" "Then your father."

This is not to downplay the father's importance, but to highlight the degree of honor bestowed upon the heart of family, the mother. It is significant that the question said "companionship," which implies an active obligation of being present and spending time with one's mother. The prophet also famously said "Paradise lies at the feet of your mother."

Lastly, a desert Arab once approached the prophet with a list of questions to which the prophet gave very pointed, one or two-word answers. When asked "How can I become wise?" the prophet advised simply, "Remember death." Keeping in mind the lingering reality of imminent death - yours and your loved-ones' - helps foster the correct attitude toward one's obligations to family, friends, and God. Inherent in his advice of course is the reality of judgement and the afterlife.


Jim said (May 12, 2014):

I have to admit that I am a bit envious of you and others who had good mothers. As I read the tribute you wrote a lot of feelings came up.

The first feeling was, "If only..." If only my mother was kind and gentle like yours I wonder how different things might have been for me and my siblings.

The second feeling was sadness at missing out on the love, dedication and selfless love I should have gotten from a mother such as yours. I wonder what it would have been like to be embraced and heard her say, "I love you."

The third feeling was compassion for my mother. I have learned that her childhood was a lot worse than mine. She suffered horribly at the hands of her father.

Back in the day there was little help or counseling services to help her sort through her trauma so she did the best she could with the tools she had when raising her own family.

She once told me, "I thought I was doing good because I beat you less than I got beat." I guess, on one level, it makes sense.

Mother's Day is one of the most difficult for me. Trying finding a greeting card that doesn't tell your mother how great she was... because mine wasn't. I nearly go into a PTSD episode reading all those cards lavishing praise.

My mom has since apologized for being a bad mother but we will never have a lovey, huggy mother/son relationship.


CF said (May 12, 2014):

Your heartfelt remembrance and deep appreciation is certainly understood and appreciated here. I lost my mom (who also had breast cancer) to a quite scheduled demise (in 2000) due to idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis.

There are plenty of «what ifs» and «should haves», which can be somewhat tortuous. Nothing can stop the arrival of that reality of life called death. Which is why we need to express our love and appreciation to those we do love, when it counts; in the present.


Ed said (May 11, 2014):

Dadgummit, your such a 'momma's boy'. Nothing to be ashamed off though. I think we all felt the same after reading such a wonderful article. The "moral courage" your mother taught you is also felt by those of us who read your website everyday.

Though I never had the honor of meeting her, I feel like I know her through your writing. I am also aware of the legacy she left us through her son. We are grateful for that as well. You know Henry, through the years you have searched for truth and have sometimes been lead astray.

The foundation your parents gave you are like the 'North Star' that always brought you back to the truth.

Today, I would like to thank my own mother for that...as well as the late Mrs Makow.



Debra said (May 11, 2014):

The problem I have with Springmeier’s position when he states: “… so they can externalize themselves to the public" is that the “Illumined not he” have already been exposed (and rather well) by those seeking Truth, so, why should we listen to them / the un-illumined? Jesus said know them by their fruits with Matthew 7.

7:16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
7:17 Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.


Robert K said (May 11, 2014):

Andrew comments: "Our parents and particularly our mothers are the only ones who will ever love us so unconditionally." This is only because of our failure to take to heart Jesus's advice to "Follow me." God's plan, and the hope of the most loving mothers, the "universal" ones, is that we should all love everyone in this way. The world is sick with unnecessary distrust, cruelties and deformed personalities because we do not.

If we are fortunate, we will be blessed with parents who show us the example of unconditional love, from which it should be incarnated in our associations as these widen in the course of our lives. This is the leaven that will create a new world as it was meant to be, the salt that gives the world its savour.

The idea that Christianity is only about saving one's own soul is a perversion (one might even say a total inversion) of its essential message, and part of the twisted propaganda that assails us from all directions. Christianity is about loving your fellow creatures, all God's creations. It is about rebirth into a world perceived, as the relative primitivism of "obedience" is left behind, through the lens of love, which, as Dante so beautifully pointed out in a flash of insight, is a resource that multiplies without limit as it is actively practiced.


Dan said (May 11, 2014):

Happy Mother's Day Henry,

What son of a good mother wouldn't relate to your homage to your mother. Unlike girls, boys reach a period of time when nature compels them to "cut the apron strings". I've known many men that remained aloof from showing affection after that.

I read your heartfelt homage to Mrs. Makow upon returning home from Mother's Day mass at church. The place was packed. Hundreds of mothers paraded down all the isles to get their carnations. I watched every face as they processed by. It was a rare feeling of joy. There's just something about good motherhood that's sacred.

God bless Helen.


Al Thompson said (May 11, 2014):

Thanks for posting that Henry; it brings back a lot of fond memories for me too.

I grew up in the 50s and 60s and during that time, there was more love, romance, and it had a much higher moral standard than what we have today.

I remember when my parents were divorced, people who knew us felt sorry for me. I certainly didn't like it, because when there were family outings with the other children, I felt left out. It wasn't my fault, but it did have an effect.

Governments and religions as they exist today have no moral compass, so only a good mother and father of the children can pass that on.

Your article does take me back a long time, but there are still a lot of pleasant memories.



JG said (May 11, 2014):

What a God given blessing it was to be raised in that golden era of the 50's when "nuclear families" were the rule and not the exception.
I can still remember the mantra that defined America at that time, "Ma, Apple Pie, and Chevrolet" .

A woman who was divorced back then lived in shame for it, right or wrong. Marriage vows meant something back then which are now considered a part of the " woman suffrage" syndrome.

As this present day " satanic nightmare" unfolds on this world a little more everyday it's memories like Henry's and our own which are similar that help keep us going.


Paul said (May 11, 2014):

Henry I share the same with you. My mother died of breast cancer as well. She always put everyone in the family before herself. I'm forever grateful for her servitude.

I cannot possibly thank her enough, Happy Mother's Day mom!!!


Andrew said (May 11, 2014):

Our parents and particularly our mothers are the only ones who will ever love us so unconditionally.

I felt every word of today’s essay.

Thank you Henry.

Photos were priceless.


Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at