Girls' Romantic Ideal Based on Father
June 15, 2019
A father's love, nurturing and approval are essential for a young girl's healthy development as a woman.
Revised from June, 2005
Most girls receive too little love from their fathers, and grow up to be insecure, distrustful of men and frigid, says Victoria Secunda, author of Women and their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man in Your Life (1992). The result is failed marriages, broken families and a vicious circle of fatherlessness.
Secunda's conclusions are based on interviews with 150 daughters, 75 fathers, and dozens of authorities. Because she is not an academic, Ms. Secunda has written an honest and useful book. Because she is a feminist, it slipped through the feminist censors and was well received. This is ironic because feminism is largely responsible for the symptoms she describes.
FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS
Girls model their male romantic ideal on their relationship with their father, according to Secunda. One woman said: "When I grow up, will I ever find a man as sweet and good and kind as my daddy." (p.105)
Women's attachments are "mirror images" of how they related to their fathers. "They instinctively repeat what they experienced in childhood, even if it was the worst thing in the world. It's what they know. They are trying to have one more shot at childhood, one more chance to rewrite their emotional histories." (224)
A three-year-old girl wants to marry Daddy and have mother out of the way. A good father helps her to understand that he is spoken for and prepares her for another man. But if he leaves, her idealization of her father can be frozen in time. (197)
Girls must have their father's approval and love. This is like sun and water to a flower. One woman said: "Whenever I'd worry about ever getting a boyfriend, he'd laugh and say, 'Are you kidding? I'll have to beat them off with a stick. You'll see.' His whole approach was to make me feel good about myself.... I think if fathers do nothing else, that's a great thing." (221)
Another woman said: "It's my dad who made me believe in myself. I remember my mom once telling me, 'Don't act too smart; boys won't like you." To which my father responded, 'Hogwash! She'll get smarter boys." (225)
These women naturally feel positively about themselves and are able to find partners who mirror the devoted father of their childhood.
If a woman does not have a dependable nurturing father, due to divorce or his arrested development, she may believe she is essentially unlovable and actually seek out men who deny her needs or reject her. (224)
These women may become sexually active prematurely. They may fear intimacy. The common theme is "an inability to trust, to believe that a man won't go away."
Secunda says that women who have trouble achieving orgasm mostly had fathers who were emotionally or physically absent during their childhood. (31) Understandably, a woman needs to trust in order to "let go." (See also my "The Power of Sexual Surrender.")
Women with absent fathers feel rootless and aren't sure they belong anywhere. They close up emotionally and tend to have rocky relationships. "Most of these daughters tended to test the men in their lives, starting fights, finding flaws, expecting to be abandoned, or looking for excuses to walk out themselves." (214)
FEMINISTS COMPENSATE BY BECOMING MASCULINE
Denied their fathers, women become more masculine. This is a way of bringing daddy back. They become the thing they are missing. (212)
In other words, a good father affirms his daughter's innate femininity. But if he is absent, she compensates by becoming masculine. This of course undermines her future relationships with men.
Many leaders of second-wave feminism are themselves products of broken homes. "My father didn't ever exist as a presence in my life.... He didn't care about us," said Marilyn French, author of The War Against Women.
"My father was living in California," said Gloria Steinem. "He didn't ring up but I would get letters from him and saw him maybe once or twice a year."
Germaine Greer: "My father had decided pretty early on that life at home was pretty unbearable...it gave my mother an opportunity to tyrannize the children and enlist their aid to disenfranchise my father completely." (From Susan Mitchell. Icons, Saints and Divas: Intimate Conversations with Women who Changed the World, New York: Harper Collins, 1997.)
Feminism is a self-perpetuating form of compensating for father-loss. Its goal is to "overthrow the patriarchy." The word originates in the Latin "pater" or father.
Feminism, like Communism, originates in the Masonic Jewish endeavour to overthrow God and the natural order and impose on mankind an all-encompassing dictatorship. Love, especially for a woman, is an act of faith. Feminism traumatizes young women with tales of how a woman is violently raped every 10 seconds. It teaches that all injustice is due to the "inequality" of the sexes and therefore heterosexuality itself must be eliminated.
Many feminists are lesbian and promote homosexuality. They have passed laws that deprive men of their children and property. Courts and police routinely discriminate against men. (See my "Dawn of the Feminist Police State" and "NWO Tyranny: Men are Being Kicked in the Teeth" )
Second-wave feminism is the greatest enemy of femininity. It is part of a larger occult plan to poison the well springs of love and permanently damage the human spiritual ecology. Society suffers from a sourness due to the loss of feminine love, charm, beauty, intelligence, modesty and grace.
The innocent maiden is a relic of the past. The tramp is in. Women want to stay young but it never occurs to them that the secret formula might be innocence.
The establishment fosters and spreads the feminist hoax. I refer you to my articles "Relearning Heterosexual Love" ; "Betty Freiden: Mommie was a Commie"; and "Gloria Steinem: How the CIA Used Feminism to Destabilize Society."
Since the onslaught of second-wave feminism in the 1960's the divorce rate has tripled. Almost 50% of white women who married then have divorced. In contrast, a single generation earlier (1940's), only 14% eventually divorced.
A study which tracked 1000 children of divorced parents from 1976 until 1987 found that nearly half of these children had not seen their fathers in the previous year. (203) The situation would appear to foster homosexuality, as males compensate for father-loss by becoming more feminine, and females by becoming masculine, as noted above.
In conclusion, a father's responsibility is to build his daughter's trust in men, and thus prepare her for a worthy man. This involves confirming her in her sexual identity, as a capable attractive partner for a future husband.
Males also suffer from father loss. But there is a father that we can know. I am talking about God. We are made in God's image and His image is in our soul. Man in Latin, "vir", has the same root as virtue. It's as simple as always doing the right thing.
In this context, the right thing for a man means creating a healthy happy family based on sound values and a wholesome vision of life.
Related - Here Come the Lesbian Rangers
----------- PLAYBOY and the (Homo) Sexual Revolution