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How I Found the Right Woman

September 10, 2012


"I had wasted so much valuable time and energy pursuing women when I should have been pouring it into my career as a musician... so, after finding a girlfriend in bed with another guy, I decided that I had better things to do with my life."

By John 

In my teens and 20s, as my hormones raged (and as I was unwittingly programmed by all forms of media), I - as many other young men the world over - made finding a mate a focal point of my life. 

But I was always a little different than my friends, as I always picked women based more on their personality than their looks, and I wasn't just looking to get laid.

I was looking for a wife and suitable mother. Of course, my friends made jokes and laughed at me. After all, what 18-year-old male in this society looks for a wife? 

Apparently, just me. Now here's where it gets peculiar... That I was looking for a long term, committed relationship that could blossom into marriage and children seemed to scare away a majority of the girls. 

If I showed affection I was too needy; if I talked about life in the long-term I was acting like a "grandpa"; and if I got upset when a girlfriend would flirt with another guy, I was "too controlling"... it was absolutely amazing how many girls would easily spread their legs, but as soon as I'd mention exclusivity, I quickly went from being the hot status symbol (I was a drummer in rock bands from the time I was 13, and did it professionally for a while, just a hobby today) to being "boring" and "needy" and i quickly would be dumped or would be cheated on.

So at age 20, I deduced that women were heartless whores, moreso than men. And that's when I gave up. I had wasted so much valuable time and energy pursuing women when I should have been pouring it into my career as a musician... so, after finding a girlfriend  in bed with another guy, I decided that I had better things to do with my life.

I went single, turning down women who approached me for dates & such; over and over again, I rejected them and was uninterested, which made them all the more interested. What idiotic creatures! 

But I put the energy into my trade and started to quickly excel. The moral of the story is simple. 

Too much time is wasted on dating. Dating is ridiculous. There's no reason to date. Casual dating is no different than prostitution. You take a woman to dinner, listen to her talk, watch her eat, and she spreads her legs for you at the conclusion.

Lets be serious and call it what it is: prostitution, plain and simple. Why not make it easier and just skip dinner and give her the cash? If a man is interested in a woman, he should be considering her as a wife & mother and he should court her accordingly. This "dating" stuff, as currently practised s nonsense.

Today, I'm married with a family of my own. I met my wife because God led her to me. One evening in my mid-20s I was out with my bandmates at a bar, not performing. 

I saw her across the room and I commented to my singer that she was attractive. Apparently she heard me, and she came over and introduced herself and at that moment I knew that I'd be with her permanently. 

We've been together since that night, 10 years ago. She says that she knew I was "the one" from the moment she saw me. The moral of this one:  stop spending so much time looking for and persuing women and try letting one find you and choose you for who you are, not what you pretend to be on a "date".

Even today, I have single friends who are miserable because they think their lives are worthless because they haven't any wife or kids. Its a shame because if they spent more time improving themselves instead of dwelling on romance, they'd be more attractive to women and women would approach them.

But forgetting about the romance, so many feel their lives are worthless because they have no mate... this is an earmark of a godless society.

Comments for "How I Found the Right Woman "

Paul said (September 12, 2012):

I concur with the writer of your story. Having been 'educated' by the entertainment industry, I was married three times. My last marriage was the one that I should have had from the beginning. She was the one that chose me, even so I was hesitant at first.

It turned out the best nineteen year marriage of my life until her untimely death of cancer. There are things we can learn from the animals. When I got my little dog from a litter, I waited until one came to me, many years later he is still with me.

Someone, in the overall scheme of things, wanted society to put the 'cart before the horse' and was successful in doing it. The blame lies with those, that wanted our society to disintegrate.

Women have been 'educated' by the same industry: To have men run after them. Today, we 'reap what was sown' were half of the population is divorced. How can it be corrected? The answer is back to basic's, but that needs a Great Awakening.

D said (September 12, 2012):

It's sad to see how many guys I know completely miserable and otherwise hating their lives, all because they've been brainwashed to believe that copulation is the be all-end all in this life. One in particular, my friend B, married a woman that simply couldn't stay faithful. They divorced and since then, I watched him go from an outgoing, good humored, fun guy to a ball of anger and depression.

I tried to explain things to him, tried to tell him that he needed to love himself, his work, and his life in order to be attractive to women; I tried to get him to read your work and he rejected it and quit speaking to me. And that is an indicator that he doesn't need a woman -- he needs God.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at