Men Must Champion Feminine Women
May 8, 2012
(from Dec 2001)
by Henry Makow Ph.D.
A feminine woman has the effect of a sunrise on a man's soul.
In the words of novelist Alex Waugh, she draws a man "into a magic circle where everything is fresher, cleaner; where there is peace, warmth, comfort. She produces in him the desire to be his best."
Nothing on earth is so fine. On this continent, increasingly nothing is so rare.
The Official State Gender Ideology, feminism, has decreed that femininity is a "stereotype" invented by men to oppress women.
Feminism is no longer about equal opportunity for women. It is a thuggish, devious synthesis of Marxism and lesbianism used by ruling elites to undermine individuals and weaken society. It is to society what AIDS is to the body.
But men are also to blame. We have accepted the feminist lie that women should be independent and pursue careers. We have abandoned the many gentle and loving women who instinctively want to build their lives around a man. We have pursued the busy, neurotic, overachievers who guarantee us heartbreak, divorce and broken family.
By pursuing these women, we are really seeking our own lost masculinity. Many of us are happy to evade the responsibility of earning a living, and taking charge of a family. In either case we are condemning ourselves to frustration and arrested development.
For heterosexuals to find fulfillment, each sex must assume its instinctive part. The sex act is a metaphor: The man's spirit pervades the female and they become one. The male spirit must be active and the female receptive.
Many men ignore willing, feminine women who can provide Wholeness. These women cannot thrive, we cannot thrive, unless we recognize, defend and love them.
What is a feminine woman?
- A feminine woman is motivated by love of husband and children. She is the heart of the family, devoted to her husband and children's well being. This is her career. A woman who is preoccupied with another demanding career cannot pay attention to her family. Love is mainly paying attention. There is a New Yorker cartoon where a child is wearing a welder's mask and using a blowtorch to write, "I need love" on the living room wall. His mother says to her friend: "He's just doing that to get attention."
A feminine woman may have another career but it is her second priority. She is not driven by personal ambition. I liked the movie "Legally Blonde" because the heroine showed that she could excel in the work world but why bother? She had a more important goal: a husband and family.
Career is a feminist lie. Since when are careers the source of human fulfillment? What is so great about being an Assistant Loan Manager at a bank? Is society expected to provide legions of eager feminists with "fulfilling" careers to compensate for their loveless lives?
- Feminists are teaching women to be "strong and independent." This is not feminine. Men respond to a woman's need. We want to rescue the damsel in distress and to win her favors. This archetype is also innate in women. She wants to be enlisted by a man.
A feminine woman DEPENDS on a man. This doesn't mean she is an emotional waif. She is competent but she doesn't pretend to be independent. Men and women need each other to be whole. As long as I have my wife, I am self-sufficient. So is she.
- Just as the woman is the heart of the family, the man is the head and shoulders. A feminine woman is her husband's partner. They make decisions together but he has the last word. Men must be the visionaries, captains and navigators. A woman's most important decision is the man she chooses to love and marry.
- A feminine woman is reserved. She wants a man to pay attention to "her" so she doesn't flaunt her sexuality. A woman wants to be loved more than anything in the world. She wants to be "known" in all her divinity. This happens when she is truly loved. Is it a coincidence the Bible uses the word "know" as in Abraham "knew" Sarah, to speak of sexual intercourse? All women are beautiful when they are loved. Women's liberation has taught women to pursue sex for its own sake, as though they were men. This is not feminine. If a man prefers a new car, why would he marry a "used" woman? He doesn't want a car that's been driven by a lot of men. He doesn't know where it's been, what damage has been done. He will choose a brand new car. In my wife's words: "A man wants to be a woman's first lover; a woman wants to be his last."
I'm not saying all women should save their virginity until marriage but certainly sex should be reserved for honest, loving long term relationships. Men need to stop looking for sex and start looking for the right woman. That's the only guarantee of sex anyway.
If men chose wives with the same attention as cars, more marriages would succeed. Women are the vehicles to the future, in terms of emotional fulfillment and family. If men knew where they wanted to go, they would choose women who would get them there. They would not be blinded by sex.
- A feminine woman tries to please the man she loves. No, this has not been outlawed, it just seems that way. A feminine woman generates love by giving love. She empowers her man by believing in him. Love is expressed in actions and effort. Baking a pie is an act of love. So is making the home beautiful. Are we so blind, impoverished and demoralized that we cannot appreciate this? Why have we allowed feminists to stigmatize homemaking? Women would be more than happy to be homemakers if it received the recognition and appreciation that it deserves.
A feminine woman has grace, beauty and wisdom. These all come from staying in touch with her spirit and not pursuing an exhausting career that requires masculine qualities.
Oprah urged these girls to "follow their instincts." No one mentioned that for women in their early twenties, "following their instincts" might entail having a baby. No one is following their instincts any more. They are doing what feminists tell them to do.
It's time men started listening to their instincts too. We want to be the masters of our domain. We want to love and possess ("pay attention," "know") our wives. We want to create families that are loving, lively and happy. It's time we embraced the quiet, unassuming beautiful women who want to be our help mates.
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Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at