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Femininity & Masculinity Define Each Other

May 17, 2023



This girl was not comfortable being a female. She identifies as a male.
But how does she even know what a male is when masculinity
is partly defined by looking after wife and children?
Young women! Do not listen to the liars urging you to question your femininity. Do not seek your identity from the word salad (LGBT+) presented by the world. Look inside --to your soul--for your true identity.
What is your intuition and instincts telling you to be?
Women exchange power for love. Sex is symbol of this exclusive contract. Sex is an act of domination and possession. Women are damaged when they give themselves to a man and are then dismissed. 
RELATEDBeautiful young woman begs men to man up
(Disclaimer - I am not trying to impose this template but rather to say that it has worked for centuries. This is why the usual suspects are trying to destroy it.) 
 Possession is the Essence of Marriage
(Updated from Dec. 2009 and April 1, 2018)
by Henry Makow Ph.D.

My wife recently asked me why I loved her. 
Rather than enumerate her good qualities, I answered honestly: "Because you belong to me."

At the risk of being politically incorrect,  many men do not seek great beauty, brains or sex, but the simple feeling of "possessing" a woman. In other words, what they seek is a degree of ownership or power. This is part of masculine identity.

submissive-wife (1).jpg
And many women have the complementary desire, to be possessed, to totally "belong" to their husband.  
In a blog post, Joseph William, in his thirties, claims he has slept with 100 women and nearly all of them wanted to be dominated in bed.  They wanted the man to take charge. This has a general application.  Women need men to take the initiative. They acquiesce or reject. 
The essence of heterosexuality is the exchange of female power for male power expressed as love. This is the heterosexual contract. If a woman is not submissive or a man unloving, the contract has been broken, and they must consider separation. 

When a woman surrenders to her husband, she gives him the power to grant her wishes, or not. He does not exploit, control or dominate. He respects her individuality and freedom. 
He wants her to want to be his. He consults and nurtures.  He makes the final decision.  Every family needs a head. A creature with two heads is a monster. 

We have a powerful hunger to become one with another person. Two people only can become one when a woman surrenders to her husband. This is how women love. Two people cannot become one if they have competing agendas.  
The greater a woman's acceptance of her husband's leadership, the greater his love for her. When the issue of worldly power is settled, a husband's sense of self expands to encompass his wife. She becomes part of his ego. He knows that her child is his.


He loves her passionately because she has given herself to him. She has given him everything he wants. 
Women were designed to crave a man's passionate and exclusive love. But feminism ensures they will never get it because it teaches them to be "independent." 
In "The Power of Sexual Surrender" psychiatrist Marie Robinson writes that femininity is based on "an essential female altruism" i.e. putting husband and children first.  Real women do not seek power. They seek love. They are cherished because they dedicate themselves to husband and children.
Women express love in terms of surrender, i.e. trust. She empowers her husband by submitting to him.  Thus, she inspires him to sacrifice for her and their children. Women domesticate men and give them purpose. 
Of course, this surrender applies only to the man she loves, the man who has courted her and won her love. If she gives her trust to the wrong man, that is her responsibility.


Women have about 20 years of peak sex appeal. They have to seal a deal before they lose it. They are the sellers. Men are the buyers.
When men treat women as sex goddesses, sex objects or prey, as society teaches, they are doomed to fail.
Men need to approach women as they are, fallible human beings with normal human desires.
They need to get to know a woman as friends and decide if they want a deeper relationship.
Women need sex but they want love (an honest human relationship) more. Take an enema and purge everything Hollywood has taught you about love and sex. It is bullshit.
 Lasting love is not based on sex appeal or sparkling repartee. You can have great sex with a woman who is not conventionally beautiful. All women are beautiful in the sex act. Lasting love is based on mutual dependence.
A man must decide what he wants to do with his life, and then find a woman who will help him achieve his goal.
Because the Illuminati bankers control the media and nearly everything else, most of us are ignorant of how egregious and criminal their social engineering is. 


Men are active by nature; women are passive. This is the basic yin-yang of nature.  By messing with this dynamic, Illuminati social engineers (black magicians?) are throwing a spanner in the gears of human reproduction and happiness. Their promotion of homosexuality to heterosexual children is criminal. They should be charged with child abuse. 
This is what Satanists do--override nature. They are evil. They hate us and we have every right to hate them and their minions (liberals) in government, education and the media. 
Related - Having Sex is not Making Love 
Men Love Women Who Empower Them
Relearning Heterosexual Love
Feminism is a Poisoned Apple
First Comment from M in Brazil

Good post and very true; too bad it's getting worst.  Man and woman are lost, at least here in Brazil. I am so sick and tired of this feminist, LGBT, race theory, communist agenda, white man-enemy agendas, but unfortunately, its all over from commercials, companies, celebrities, gov.  pushing this on us on every occasion.

I am glad my daughter reads this site, she can learn and have a better outcome in life than I had.

Here in Brazil, women (not all but most), have to pay half of all expenses in the household even if their husband makes 10 times more, it doesn´t matter. They have to pay their share and do most house work since men here say it's their job. What we see nowadays is no longer the sacred union between a men and woman where man treat their wives as a gift given to them by the Lord and woman reverence their husbands and give them children. Instead we are living in times where modern relationships are the norm. Because of that, what we can expect from a marriage is two colleagues living together where each person has their own lives, share their bills 50/50 and if things get too hard they'll just get a divorce and move on to the next partner as if their actions won't have consequences to their children or themselves.

Then you have good men that cannot find a Christian woman to marry because the women are not committed to the relationship nor to God.  It has been hard for both good man and a good woman here. This world is definitely not what it use to be.

In my work and at my daughter's college, we see more and more incentives for women to abandon their children with strangers and go to work. From speakers to projects aiming at mothers and women, the effort to put women in their unnatural place is astonishing. At my work, I see women with high paying jobs making all the decisions in their household while their husbands stay home with their kids. And this is a difficult situation because since the feminist agenda has been active for so long, both genders are complacent in maintaining these ungodly roles.

My daughter tells me about her college, where the girls if they want to have a boyfriend they have to pay for all their expenses on dates and this goes on into the marriage and how most people engage in premarital sex as if it's nothing but a sport. So the women have to pursue a carrier because they can't rely on men. It's truly sad where humanity is heading to.

 Coincidentally, in Brazil there is a youtube channel called Casamento de Verdade (Marriage biblically) from Professor Afonso (he lives in the US now), he mentioned why its important to be submissive (women) marriage. Its was really good and all women liked it and had no problem with it. The 90 thumbs down were basically from men and not the women. In the comments, woman were complaining about having to pay the bills either 50/50 in the marriage and in some cases all of it and having to do all the house work.  

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for " Femininity & Masculinity Define Each Other"

DAS said (May 17, 2023):

If the women in this country can’t stop living in fear of their own femininity, what can be said? I do not approve of the burka, but I understand your point.

Unless it is an outfit worn by the upper classes, a lady today wearing any color whatsoever will be found in connection with 1) porn, 2) drag queens. Beautiful wholesome women are not weighing in. Where’s Melania when you need her? (except that she has a shady past).

How is it now acceptable to wear blue jeans to church, to weddings, and funerals? Even at Christmas parties, people are supposed to wear ugly sweaters.

So if the men are cucks, the women are total cowards.

RA said (May 17, 2023):

Thank you for reposting. The article nails it on the head throughout. But stating that “A man must decide what he wants to do with his life, and then find a woman who will help him achieve his goal” strikes a particular chord with me. This is where I have been exactly of late. It could not, therefore, have been summed up any better.

Garry U said (April 2, 2018):

God still has a "bone to pick" with mankind! So to speak!

The recent article about " Wife Surrender" is so much deeper than space and revelation of a post.

Many could arrive in the same place as Adam did when he dodged the question from God about what he had done or didn't do in the garden.

Instead of answering and taking responsibility for the failure to follow the rules about eating from the tree of knowledge he placed the responsibility instead on " that woman".

This has been the root source to exploit mankind and especially the men. Letting them resort to escaping the responsibility and substituting another created from his own flesh. This has been one of the favored attacks against mankind since those days in the garden.

This initial instance of rebellious discourse with God established would later serve to establish principalities over entire nations. One of the featured ones in the Bible which is instructional was the Kingdom of Ahab.

Turns out he would be judged the most wicked of all men who served as a King over Israel. Of course, it would not be fair to leave out that his wife Jezebel was actually in charge of the Kingdom and used treachery combined with murder to maintain her rule.

In this instance had the woman submitted to the man it still would not have turned out to perfection because her( Jezebels) husband was also misaligned with God's due to the Statutes of Omni which are manifestations of the original tree of knowledge.

The point is that so many both men and women are, have and are misaligned to God's optimum will and are still either carrying or consuming knowledge from the lesser tree.

Peter states:

Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Peter 3:7).

Until the men gain the revelation knowledge of the fact that in Christ we are like the woman- his weaker partner and an heir of the gracious gift also like the woman- we will continue to fall short of the grace necessary to enable our wives the safety let alone the ability to surrender.

Until men can gain this deeper insight only from the revelation knowledge of the Holy Spirit that God will discontinue as he has always done to mankind........

Still, have a "bone to pick" as he did in Adam when he created woman.

Until then we can only expect to continue to have our and our wives prayers hindered.

Al Thompson said (April 2, 2018):

This is a very good article and I might add on to it by saying that each relationship between a man and a woman should not have sexual activity until they are married.

Fornication seems to destroy relationships in ways we don't understand but we can see the bad results.

In today's world, the men will have to be more mature and not so ready to screw anything that walks and has a vagina. Men need to be more respectful of women and women shouldn't be looking at a man as a sparring partner. In order for a relationship to work properly as stated in this article, I think it is much better for the couple to wait to have sex until marriage.

I've mentioned this to young people and they look at me as if I came down from Mars. However, I see broken marriages and broken children as a result of these bad marriages. Fornication seems to set the bad tone throughout the relationship.
We can see the bad results in the society in general and it wouldn't take much effort to do things the correct or "old-fashioned" way.

Another problem a couple will have is that the woman who stays home is looked on as something that is an oddity. There will be constant pressure from the feminist world for the woman to go into the workplace. The women should stand their ground in these situations and be true to their husbands and the children.

Doing things right from the beginning will save a lot of problems in the future. Avoiding fornication, in my opinion, maybe the best way to ensure a successful marriage.

Steve S said (April 2, 2018):

I often offer the idea of patterns and examples to people struggling to get a better perspective of life and truth with regard to the mind of God. If we want to know and understand our relationship with Him, all it takes is to ask ourselves what we might decide and do as a good father or parent towards our own children.

Certainly, as we are created in His image, we are made this idea in mind, His consciousness ingrained into our being and soul. The picture of men and women is no different. If we read this article with that in mind, that husband and wife is a picture of God and bride, we can appreciate how profound this article is and how God's inspiration is in the details.

For us to embrace its wisdom more deeply, simply substitute the words husband and wife with God and the church for the truth to come to life with greater meaning.

Marc White said (December 29, 2015):

Thanks again for reposting your article today. I am rereading Marie's book on the power of sexual surrender. Last night I was again captivated by the chapter on the rise of feminism which seems to hit the nail on the head. I'm going to be posting up the chapter on our ministry site. As a leader in the church of Jesus Christ here in America, I'm astounded at the self-delusion and self rationalization that ignores that feminist invasion and the devastating consequences and all the families that I know.

I don't know if you're aware of several female Christian blog sites that are excellent. Wanted to pass them along: unveiled wife, peaceful wife, and hot holy and humorous. These younger women with families have figured out how to please her husband and love Jesus Christ the way he intended: by obeying his commandment to submit to their husbands in everything. Ephesians 5.

Here are two great books on abuse in the Christian church and one on divorce and remarriage by David Instone-Brewer which is the best book on the subject on this planet.

I read your book a long way to go for a date. Revealing and painful. Thanks again for all your work and opening up my Vista to see that there really is only one conspiracy. The New World order and its antichrist against Jesus Christ and his kingdom.

One day closer to Home and Him!

Heath said (December 12, 2009):

Thank you for reminding me how important and so much more healthy it is for a man to maintain his masculinity. I wish I could have received this information as a much younger man. Also I believe that true sexual fulfillment only comes through a committed, monogamous. heterosexual relationship, although it took a decade of "chasing skirt" to realize that what I I was taught to want by popular culture was not what was healthy or what I needed. That is what my mother truly wanted for me, regardless of all the feminist propaganda in her mind. Women want manly husbands and manly sons, they want and need a man's strength just as a man needs his wifes submission. Women and Men are not the same and they shouldnt be treated as such. They should not share public restrooms, they should not trade places domestically, and although they may serve with distinction women should under no circumstances ever be exposed to combat.

As a veteran I can assure you that men are by their nature "prepared" for violence because of their "hunter" nature. Combat can only damage a woman's psyche, not to mention that of the men who might watch violence happen to her. Men want and need to be protectors of women, because the woman represents hearth and home, wife and mother.

Oh how we have been manipulated for so long! Only after a realization of our true nature will men and women together defeat the World Revolutionary Movement Conspiracy (NWO/illuminatti)

Lawrence said (December 11, 2009):

Henry: as a born-again one I 100% agree with the new Testament injunction that "husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the churchh and gave Himself for it.
And you wives, honour your husbands."

This one rule for each is perfect; and so simple! The honourable man and woman won't cheat on each other. [Like mine did, unbeknownst to me!] all thru our "Christian" marriage, which culminated in her leaving me for another cheater and resulted in 4 devestated and anchorless children who are all now following mommy's example.

Terry said (December 11, 2009):

I enjoyed the article "Possessiveness" is Part of Marriage as linked from Rense. The responses were even more interesting and educational.

The bulk of them, both men and women, were offering personnel testimony of the destructiveness of contemporary teaching. A few offered that there were some good aspects of feminism; this while seeming to agree with you about the bulk of your observations without specifically voicing it. Only a few parroted feminist dogma and fully seemed to believe that they were the open minds.

So between your article and the responses, great social enlightenment and education for me.

Christine said (December 11, 2009):

While I agree that from an emotional and sometimes economic perspective possessiveness is a part of marriage, that is one reason why I am glad I've never married.

Two of my married friends have told me that their husbands resented their love for God and were jealous of it. Mainly because that meant that the man did not completely possess his wife, because, of course, he never can.

That is why it is easier to seek God in the state of celibacy and virgininity: your heart is not divided betweeen a spouse, God, and children. Of course, we need families. And of course, the family is the cornerstone of society.

Nevertheless, as head of the household, the man needs to put first things first: God first, then the spouse and children. When he doesn't, jealousy and resentment reign in the home.

As Fr. Peyton used to say, the family that prays together stays together.



Apparently your friends chose the wrong husbands.


Russ said (December 11, 2009):

My wife and I were fortunate enough to marry on Christmas Day itself, which we considered the best present to ourselves ever. We also at the time of buying rings decided to get tattoos. My name on her back, hers on my back(not like footballers I might add). We tell people now that we are property of each other. As weird as this may sound to people out there, it actually gives us a lot of strength, knowing that we belong to each other, and due to the markings, no other could ever take that sacred place.

Clare said (May 8, 2008):

Hi Henry, I like your articles and generally agree with much of what you say. I see the importance for both men and women of understanding the significance of gender roles and identities. I don't hate men in the slightest; my brother, father, neighbours and many friends are all men.

However, I am also a lesbian, I don't sleep around, don't think that all women ought to be lesbians, but the unfortunate fact is that some of us just naturally are. It ain't easy, I'd rather be straight, but it is just the way I am made. I've always felt this way.

I think god made a few of us like this. But not all lesbians hate men - and a good deal of straight women do. You conflate the two in categorizing the clearly bitter poster 'Diane' as a lesbian and I have to say I think you were a little unfair to her. She maybe have had some bad experiences with straight men perhaps? Maybe her mother had a hard time from her father?

However, I don't disagree that currently men generally are under attack from both a particualr section of unhappy straight women and the illuminati - and it must be almost intolerable for them with all this confusion.

I do really sympathize. But the dynamics between men and women wishing to be possessed and desired can also exist between same sex couples in a healthy way.

Please don't tarnish all of us homosexuals with the same brush - we are all fighting the same things and I hope we can continue to do it together, men and women, gay and straight.

Feminism ought to have emphasized the important vital nurturing qualities of women and their essential spiritual aspects, instead, it focussed disproportionately on some of the clear political wrongs that have been foisted upon women by patriarchy. Women are now finding themselves dissatisfied with the world of work and the emptiness of capitalism.

Many women are confused by this, both personally, emotionally and ideologically. Strange, difficult and confusing times for all of us.

Thank you for the interesting work you continue to do and you have many lesbian supporters who do not concretize the important issues you raise about the need for difference along starkly biological lines.



I try to say "gay activists" not gays and lesbians. I did call Diane a lesbian which may have been intemperate of me.

The problem is always the same, the organizations claim to speak for the group even though they don't have a mandate. Members of the group are too weak to challenge the organizations but not too weak to challenge the critics of what the organizations are doing.

Have you written to gay organizations? As long as we allow organizations or nations to speak for us without raising objections, we are going to be held responsible for what they do, whether we are gays or Jews or Christians or Freemasons or you name it.

None of these "progressive" movements have the goal they pretend to. Feminism is not really about improving the lot of women. They are trying to turn straights into gays and they are succeeding. It is deliberate subversion. See this article

I am prepared to believe a few homosexuals like yourself are born that way. You sound like a fine intelligent person and I will keep your words in mind.

Umi said (May 6, 2008):

I just wanted to say that I couldn't agree with you more. I recently got married and was actually criticized be several female friends for "giving in." As if by getting married I am naturally going to stop being an independent person and morph into a Stepford Wife. Joining forces with my husband and making a public commitment was a transformational opportunity. We are both Buddhist and be getting married we are taking one step closer to the two-becoming one. I referred all my critics to the Taoist representation of yin-yang.

Growing up in the "Sex and the City" generation I have felt incredibly frustrated by the lesbian-tinged media images. Lesbianism itself doesn't bother me. It's the pseudo-lesbianism that does. It is the idea that to get a man's attention you need to bait him by making our with your girlfriend at a local bar and then feigning disinterest upon approach. What? I think this shift is also reflected in popular pornography where both men and women are led to believe that "What men want" is to see two women grinding around in groups. There's a market for everything... but at some point you have to be able to step back and get in touch with what is really fulfilling to you and let the hype disintegrate on its own.

Just two cents from a loving wife who wants a husband to be the man he wants to be - and not play the role of my employee or sex-toy.

Jo said (May 6, 2008):

My husband and I when first married did posses each other. It was a good kind of possession. We belonged to each other.

He was an incredibly handsome Marine Corps pilot. I met him when he was an enlisted man and before he got his wings. We did it together, each step of the way. We were jealous of each other. Of course we felt we did belong to each other.

He always walked me down any street with him on the outside. Old fashioned but just one small thing of making me feel protected by him. I still have all the love letters he sent to me. We wrote a lot since he was away from home a good deal.

I know many women who simply hate men. Most are divorced women. They don't want to believe all men are not the same. So many of today's men have been raised by these kind of women. Vicious circle.

I did have much I had to deal with in my marriage. I am sure I was not the perfect wife. I was always true to my husband.

My husband had an affair on me. I received through the mail a letter he had written to a woman. She was in the military and stationed in Vietnam with him. It shook my world. When he got back from overseas we did work very hard on our marriage and we stayed together. However, the trust was gone and he had to take time and work in helping me to believe I could trust him again. So for 8 years of our marriage I did have a most possessive and trusting marriage but things changed after the affair.

Our marriage lasted over 50 years We always loved each other. We were close to our four adult children.

We did have a good life but any spouse who steps out of marriage and enjoys so called trust and love with another person is a spouse that I feel does not realize what lies ahead for them.

That possessiveness and loyalty and trust is truly what makes a marriage special and keeps it alive, to destroy this is like giving away the best gift you ever received.

H said (May 5, 2008):

I found a lot of your articles very interesting - I couldn't stop reading. As a woman in her early 30s who has been apparantly duped by the NWO brainwashing and come out on the other side entirely jaded, completely traumatized by sex and intimacy, and ready to give up altogether on relationships and live life alone, do you know of any books/websites that address these issues that us brainwashed-now-awake women can read to help us regain our sense of self?

I have recently broken off a 3 yr relationship with a man who deeply loves me because I cannot trust anymore (he has been rather brainwashed and emasculated himself). This has got to be an epidemic of massive proportions that psychologists are going to be in business for years to come.

If you have any suggestions let me know. I feel like I've lost myself and I can't find my way back. I really hate what society has become and now that I realize the damage done to my psyche, I feel hopeless.

Jennifer Rose said (May 4, 2008):

I read your article on "possession" in relationships. Loved the beginning, politically incorrect or not, I can personally relate & think that dynamic between male & female is not only natural, but beautiful.

What motivated me to write to you was a good portion of the rest of your article.......being a very romantic, old fashioned, intelligent,heterosexual, single 34yr young female, who loved Sex in the City.....I had to.

Where I live is very different from NYC, but the show is very
realistic as far as emotions having to do with love & sex, loneliness, friendship, having children, the heartbreak of not having children, & health issues......all of which we really have to deal with.....whether we "belong" to somebody or not. Go easy on those of us who don't, please.

I'm sooo tired of the struggle alone AND on top of that feeling awkward and/or pathetic in certain situations because I still don't have a ring on my finger or even a date.

I'm so tired of being ever so suddenly treated and/or looked at differently according to if I'm with a man & who he is.

I never thought it possible that I would be about to turn 35, w/o children, w/o a mate......but here I am.

I look so forward to being "his" and he "mine". I look so forward to having a safe & worthy place to put my love & my energy into. I look forward to taking care of him & him of me.

I'm a girl, sometimes irrational, overly emotional & hyper-sensitive, for the most part I'm soft/sweet, want to take care of you, in every way you want & have your babies......I'm also very strong, intelligent, independent & can kick butt as needed. I NEED A MAN WHO CAN HANDLE ALL THAT; a man who is just as strong or stronger because......... I LIKE TO FEEL LIKE A GIRL.

I admit it, I want my man to be a man & own me, I want him to be protective (but not too), want him to be rational when I'm not, I want "my man" to take care of things like my car, and I want him to covet me as his most prized possession, forever. Shucks....I even want him to be in charge but to greatly value my guidance. But he needs to be compassionate, nurturing & sensitve also, or it won't work.

We are leather and we are lace, all of us. Some girls have more leather, some boys more lace. Let's all just let each other be w/o the shame OR the guilt.
And screw being politically correct. That's all. I hope you read this.

Rene said (May 4, 2008):

It is my believe that instead of "Possessiveness" is Part of Marriage, the title should be "The urge to belong".

And may I share what always has been my basis for my excellent marriage;
"Marriage is a partnership where BOTH partners take full responsibility for each other, without taking away each others right to be".

And people ask me, to be what ?

My response always is; to be whatever a person can dream of, the very best they can be or just to be themselves.

Taking away their "right to be" equals suppression in my opinion.

Diane said (May 4, 2008):

I’m with you on the conspiracy in general, but I think you oversimplify feminism as being drummed up and controlled by the conspiracy. I believe that most of what is published by feminists is a product of the conspirator-controlled process of giving grant money to and/or publishing only those authors who further the purposes of the conspirators. But I also believe that feminism had an organic, legitimate birth, and I wish it had not been kidnapped by the elite, because there is a continual need for women to speak their truth and take a stand against the excesses of patriarchy that the world has been living with to a greater or lesser degree since the beginning of agriculture and city-states thousands of years ago.

I believe that authentic feminism is a necessary antidote to the toxicities of our patriarchal past. Some feminist, matriarchal principles must be incorporated into any future parentarchy (for lack of a better word) or we’ll end up back in the bad old days of the bad old patriarchy. This will not happen without a religious revolution.

I think that for civilization to progress from where we are now to where we need to be as a human race, men must learn to respect women in a way that patriarchal religion cannot allow them, let alone teach them, to do. Father-God religions, being dependent for their legitimacy on ancient patriarchal religious texts, will continue to perpetuate the toxicities of patriarchy. Belief in a sole Father-God as a metaphysical reality, however good He is conceived to be, is ultimately toxic to human society, because such belief makes no legitimate room for the Feminine in men’s souls. I hope that someday, Father-Gods along with Mother-Gods, understood by all as psycho-social myths or archetypes rather than as metaphysical reality, will orient human society in a psychologically healthy way.


Thanks for this intelligent letter. It makes more sense to me for males to represent father-gods and females to represent mother-gods than for the two to mix in one. This is why God created two sexes.


Dave said (May 4, 2008):

I'm 37 years old and divorced. I have been separated 5 years (divorced for 2). I have sole custody of my daughter who is exceeding my expectations in every way.

As she is approaching 12 and going out with friends, I am reevaluating my fears of dating. I have not attempted to date even once in the time that I have been on my own. My Ex wife fits the bipolar description perfectly and has affected what I foresee in any upcoming relationship with anyone else. I work in a horrible moral environment where 'players' and 'friends with benefits' are everywhere. I am disgusted with it all and they accuse me of being jealous of them.

Your articles give me hope that someone may still be out there for me. I read somewhere that to be normal is the new crazy. I think this is true.

I remember when I was younger, that an older male friend of mine would talk so confidently and knowledgeable, and I recall how comforting it seemed. Recently when I returned to my hometown, I sought out some of my old friends and when I met up with him again he was a shell of his former self. Depressed, confused and just pathetic. I took another look at myself and cross referenced it with your articles and I think that the equality movement really does remove what it is to be a male. It must be unappealing to women! The player jerks use the possessive appeal, use them then ditch them "in fun"; the women start to resent men, and those of us who would be normal and trying to do the right thing are alone.

Your articles are brutal in honesty and introversion (much like understanding Nietzsche) but the truth can be a little ugly. It is truth none the less.

Susanne said (May 4, 2008):

Women can do just fine without being possessed by some galoot who cannot even remember to tie his sneaks and take out the garbage by his "possessed" wife - the one who invented those demeaning "honey dos" that Jack so deplores.

Oh please, spare us your drivel Mr Make Kow about exposing feminism as some form of male undermining device. Young women (even the sex and city airheads) should be encouraged to achieve for themselves, make enough money to build a life, establish their own residence and keep out the possessive cowboys.

Beware of stray lassos. We need men to carry heavy things. So we might sleep with the mailman and the carpenter. Those guys help out. Women are not whores, unless they desperately need the money. Men are whores. By nature. They want to "possess" a wife and then screw around. We know you. So expose us. Think of us as tramps and fancy yourselves gentlemen farmers.



Lesbian perspectives are always welcome. Thank you.


Tina said (May 4, 2008):

You are absolutely right that women want to be possessed by men. Those who claim not are in denial of their own needs. In effect, I would equate love with a man possessing a woman and a woman allowing herself being possessed.

Now possessing a woman does not mean he will abuse her and take advantage of her. Rather, as he nurtures any of his own belongings with care, he looks after his most precious possession with same even more so, since she gives something that no other possession can give back and that is love.

David said (May 4, 2008):

It's difficult to be a 24 year old unfazed by the static and blessed with two loving parents. In our generation, so many people come from
broken families that it has become taboo to speak of the benefits of having married parents. That taboo is now turning into denial. When
we're told by every medium to be committed to non-commitment for the first 5-10+ of our sex lives, how is the necessary portion of the population going to make marriage work?

Having sex with someone you don't respect eats away at the best part of you. That deep down good
shit. Everyone has been convinced otherwise. After all, every magazine is full of sex tips and reasons you should be having more sex! Nevermind the quality of your relationship. It's comical.

No psychological damage at all! We promise! Most promiscuous young women get sick of feeling like a slut, then either find a relationship
with inferior men who worship them, vow eternal slutdom, or give up on men altogether. Of course, these rules don't apply to very beautiful
women. They can take their time growing up, or more commonly, don't at all.

Judy said (May 4, 2008):

Dear Henry: Thanks for the essay. I am 77 years old and have experienced many aspects of feminism, careers, etc. When I finally, at age 3l, found a man - good, honorable, principled, masculine but not wishy washy, not "sweet, not cute" Our relationship developed.

We exchanged complete love, we exchanged, if I may be so old fashioned, souls. He was my life. I wish there were some way to explain to young girls today the great beauty, the great fulfilment of surrender to a real man. We rode the cosmic waves together. My love softened him; his love gave me a fulfillment that can never come from any other source.

I once asked one of my classes (college level) during a discussion in the earlier days of the feminist assault, why they wanted to castrate men. What had they to gain? They were too young and inexperienced to understand. We are beginning to witness untold numbers of frustrated and bitter women who thought that career and self sufficiency were worthy goals. Now that they have experienced the reality of our savage culture, they may be having regrets.

Thanks for trying to get this message across. And tell young men, as I have tried to tell my stepson, don't take any "shit" from a woman. She loses all respect for you by your doing so. Be masculine, be strong. She'll come around eventually.

Gary said (May 4, 2008):

It seems so foreign to our culture to accept such a thing as a woman being the possession of her husband. Being a married man, I am fortunate to have an excellent wife, full of love and devotion.

My wife has grown (through much struggle) to understand that her submission, her giving herself to be my possession, is the greatest way to move and motivate me to be a loving and careful manager of my valuable possession. A well cared-for possession somehow becomes more beautiful over time, doesn't it?


Thanks Gary,

No two marriages are identical. Different people have different styles but I think the overall principle applies to many.


Candace said (May 3, 2008):

Henry, this is not what marriage is about, on an immature planet do people very possess others, or rather only immature people possess others, and your need to possess is glaring immaturity of your soul.

This need to possess or be taken care of as women go, is the need to feel completed, and exactly NO soul can effectively complete another.

Marriage will become truly enduring when two already complete people of similar nature and interests find one another, and this endures for life unless one fails in their soul growth.

This is what we must strive for on this planet, and both men and women need to get the point where, as a socail institution marriage becomes truly a partnership of 2 individuals who are already complete. ..

I know you don't like "feminism" but for a time its is necessary on this planet to bring it back to balance. Some day perhaps you will rise to an incarnation on a planet of hermaphrodites, where both bodies are the same, and either can bear the child.

That would be an interesting experience and they do exist. I agree two types of bodies exist on this one, but I don't agree that two types of soul exist.

There is only one, and it has nothing to do with sex of the body and hopefully on this forlorn little planet, one day that will be realized and the need to possess or be dependant on another will pass.

God bless those feminists, for they are sorely needed up on this place now. Get to know that wife better. Take care, Candace

not my fan said (May 3, 2008):

Dear Henry,

You guys haven't done such a marvelous job of running the world. I have five questions for you:

1. Why is it men like you need women to feel powerful by ownership when you can't feel adequately powerful on your own?

2. Who invented marriage anyway?

3. Why would a woman want to have children in a world where those children are fodder to be killed in wars designed by men? Is it so you can feel powerful?

4. Isn't it true that power is the greatest aphrodisiac?

5. Isn't your blathering posted on an admission of a self-defeating syndrome, where in men who don't feel powerful seek the power of the ownership of their own gonads?

A Loyal Rense fan, but not your fan.

Isaac said (May 3, 2008):

I almost never respond to anything anyone presents on, or any blog, because I heartily respect everyone's point of view. In the case of your most recent posting, I must disagree. I read this argument before, and it is almost unilaterally an idea put forward by men about women. It perpetuates a myth about the differences about men and women (actually, given anyone's conditioning, men and women are either equally jealous and possessive, or not.), and especially ignores the fact that we are ultimately spiritual in nature, and do not have an inherent 'gender.'

Most women writers are certainly more enlightened when it comes to relationship, and I recommend a book by Daphne Rose Kingma entitled "The Future of Love." I have no illusions or an agenda about changing your mind...only a hope to open it a little.

"ISAAC" -- I am amazed at your certainty that "we are spiritual in nature and have no gender." Then why aren't men having babies? I don;t think we can ignore our physical and psychological nature and expect to be happy.


Rick Sinai in New Orleans said (May 3, 2008):

Before I met my current mate back in late 80's, I dated a young woman who was a public school teacher.

I'll never forget the first hint that the relationship was doomed after holding a door open for her, on a date!

She gave me an evil glare and told me that me that I " know better" than to do that. I said very calmly that I hold the door open for everyone, regardless of gender, race, age. In New Orleans , at least in the South , I have found this to be a "common courtesy".

She then explained that she was card carrying liberal feminist. I naively thought still at that point in my life, okay , maybe I am some sort of "male chauvinist pig. "

On the next date I noticed her dour expression, and I asked her if anything was wrong. Her response was an attack that went like this: 'All of you MEN expect that every woman should smile at them, I am sick of this patriarchal society where every young woman is expected to paint their face, and be compliant, etc..." nauseum.

I knew then , the relationship was poisoned, and I broke it off. In our last conversation she revealed to me that she had a couple of recent " dreams" where she was having sex with a woman. What a revelation...

Growing up in my generation ( I am now in my mid-40's ) I have since encountered many such womYn (or the next incarnation, Grrls movement) like this and steered a wide berth.

Matt said (May 3, 2008):

I loved you latest article on possessiveness in marriage. My girlfriend read it and thought that you were only advocating a one way possession...that men possess the women. It didn't seem that way when I read it, and I was wondering what your opinion on that is. Do you think that there is a mutual possession? It would appear that would have to be the case for a true one flesh union to take place.

See also these scriptures:

"I am my lover's and my lover is mine" (Song of Solomon/Songs 6:3)
"I belong to my lover and his desire is for me" (7:10)
"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away." (8:6-7)

"This is what Yahweh says: 'I am very jealous for Zion; I am burning with jealousy for her.'" (Zechariah 8:2)

God burns with jealousy for his people, and his people should only be devoted to Him. Mutual possession?

Matthew Kowalski

PS - Thanks for putting up a page with all the links to the outside articles that you post. Much appreciated!

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." - Jesus, Matthew 5:6



Thanks -it's a shame that your girl can't figure out that if she belongs to you, and you can only love one woman, you belong to her.


M said (May 3, 2008):

Great article as usual, Since Ive been reading your work it has really opened my eyes to the horrible situation feminism has put everyone in.

I am a 30 year old male, good looking. Im in excellent shape --been working out since the young age of 12. I own 3 businesses. I would love to get married and have a family but the women I've dated the last decade it seem like they all need conflict and turmoil in a relationship as if thats the way its suppose to be.

Most of them drink way too much and are obsessed with pop culture and spending. The last girl I dated was a christian, went to services twice a week. She waited until she was married to have sex at 21 years old. Well that marriage lasted 6 years and between the age of 27 and 29 when I met her, she had slept with 12 men and 3 women not to mention the group activity she had indulged in.

She thought it would make me like her even more if I knew she would pretty much do anything. She thought all guys should like it. She saw a shrink once a week and was on 3 meds for Bipolar ADHD and Bulemia. Wonder why she had to see a shrink and take all those meds? Im guessing it was the past stuff she had done, but hey she thought it was the cool thing to do.

Its extremely hard to find decent women to marry these days. What are men to do?

Andrew said (May 3, 2008):

You definitely know the secret (to Love & Marriage) which can liberate people from the insecurity of not knowing where their next "piece of ass" is coming from. They could get married and focus on productive things...

Consider how the "quiet elite" induced America's cognitive constipation. Indoctrination is teaching without inducing any thought process. Movies like "Sex And The City" are the perfect vehicle of cultural indoctrination without teaching people to think. In a movie we get involved with the plot and then identify with the hero or heroine. A good movie induces a "trance" of receptivity. The real sales pitch cannot begin until we think we're not buying anything. This is predictive programming, so when things turn out like in the movies--it seems so familiar that we don't resist. We believe that we are just watching a movie, but the people who write the script and select the images are experts at indoctrination.

In movies we learn NWO nonsense, but we don't learn how to think, thus America's cognitive constipation and an abysmal lack of curiosity.

Dawn said (May 3, 2008):

The best book I've read about male and female roles is "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge. It is written to men, but even the author admits that women who have dads, husbands, sons, or brothers really need to read it. It was literally life-transforming for me as a married woman with 4 sons and I have been able to mentor other women from the lessons I learned in this book.

The crux of the book is that from the time of being a little boy, men want to know one thing, "Do I have what it takes?" Eldredge says that "Feminity cannot confer masculinity." Therefore, if the father doesn't help the son feel he has what it takes (something that historically has come through initiation rites), men
unwittingly go to a woman to get their
validation--which is futile because, again,
"femininity cannot confer masculinity."

While my sons still continued to share with me about their lives, when they moved into their later teens, they started to become hostile whenever they expressed a problem and I tried to "help". They would shrug off my hugs and I took it personally, wondering what had happened to our relationship. I learned through this book that when I tried to help, they interpreted my
actions as my lack of confidence in their ability to "conquer" the problem. Their attitudes toward me completely turned around once I began to just "listen" and cheer them on. "Hey, let me know how that goes."

Now they don't shrug away my hugs because they know I am just expressing my affection for them, rather than "comforting" them. I respect their manhood.

Eldredge makes the point that if their fathers did not confirm that they have what it takes, men need to recover their masculine heart-- "defined in the image of a passionate God". It is man's nature in the image of God to be wild (in a good sense).

Unfortunately, if men are not initiated by their
fathers, they sometimes mistakenly make the woman
their adventure and seek validation of their
masculinity from her. The woman doesn't want to be the adventure, she wants him to take her on the
adventure at his side. I would contend that it makes it difficult for a couple to move forward when their possession of one another is not established. There is always doubt or "stuff" to deal with that detracts from a unified step forward. If the man must continue
to pursue the woman, in quest of "oneness" or mutual possession, there will be no time (or energy) to seek the real adventure together.

Young men have fewer opportunities to develop courage and self-reliance. Why is it that moms try to prevent their sons from engaging in daring activities, but encourage their girls to try to break into boys' sports teams. (Yeah, that's what we need to help train women for marriage--a competitive spirit!) With their hovering protection, moms steal their sons'
abilities to fight their own battles--battle practice they need for the future to make their wives and families secure and confident in their leadership.

Dads have been pushed out of child-rearing, or are
expected to connect through their feminine side
(huh?!) if they take any significant part. Single
parent homes (ie, headed by women) are raising a wimpy generation of men who are unhappy because they are
left with trying to get validation from women. They
are punished for, or altogether prevented from,
attempts to recover their masculine heart. The
genuine masculine heart is not abusive, but strong and
protective. Men have broad shoulders for a reason.
Women are drawn to men who have this quality of
strength and passion under self-control, whether they
will admit it or not. If women reject this, they can
continue to take on roles that are exhausting,
unfulfilling, and even detrimental, while they go on
regarding men as incapable. The makers of anxiety
drugs are, in fact, counting on them to do so.

The women of our church do not meet in groups
separated by age and interest. A full mentoring
experience is, therefore possible, where women who
actually know something about life and how to love
their husbands and children (literally a dying breed) are accessible to younger women who (sorry to say) when left to their own devices, tend to establish complaining sessions--degrading "home"making (because of their loss of vision) and expressing disrespect for their husbands' intelligence and importance in the role of leading the family.

Through mentoring, our women have become very
sensitive to the OVERstepping of womanhood in
leadership roles. I think these women have learned that part of loving their husbands is respecting them.

We are now relishing the wonderful things that can happen when we "get out of the way" of men with the passion and strength of their masculine hearts. We are freed up to enjoy our own best feminine hearts, the fruits of which have gone wanting too long.

For Father's Day, the church has ordered enough copies of Wild at Heart for all the men 18 and over, made possible by a great organization on the web which has made this extremely affordable:

Lisa said (May 3, 2008):

As a greying, tubby, middle-aged mom of many, I felt "undesirable" and reluctant in intimacy because of who in society I have to compete with for my husband's "approval," until he said, "No, I WANT to be with you because you're MINE." So because I am HIS (and the photoshopped supermodel is not) and the mother of HIS, he loves ME and truly wants to be with me. That is liberating.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at