Who is Pavlov's Dog? - A Satire

June 1, 2012


(left, Raffi)

"This isn't about protecting dogs, is it? It's about training white males."

by Henry Makow Ph.D.
(updated from June 24, 2008)

This session of the Human Rights Tribunal of the 17th District of the Feminist Soviet of Canada is set to begin. Ms. Rutherford- Armstrong is the Prosecutor.  The Judge is Madam Chegundi Tsunami, a woman of color. The Defendant is Henry Makow of Winnipeg, white male.

"Mr. Makow, at 10.25 a.m. on May 22, 2012 at the corner of Maple and Higgins, you were overheard to utter the words, "bad dog" to your pet.  How do you plead?"

Makow: "Guilty with an explanation, Madame. "

"And what is your explanation?"

"I'm trying to teach Raffi not to chase cats. He has pulled me off my bike more than once and broken many retractable leashes."

"The witness, a Ms. Termagant, reported that there was a hint of impatience in your voice. This was confirmed by tapes from a nearby CCTV.  Is this true?"

Makow: "Yes, it's possible."

  "Do you realize how damaging this is to a dog's self esteem? Demonizing him as "bad"? Withdrawing affection?"

Makow: "I was just trying to train him. I wasn't angry. I still loved him."

"Mr. Makow, do you have any professional credentials in the field of dog training? Have you read any Feminist theorists?"


Rutherford: "Then, you wouldn't know how to train a dog, would you?"

Makow:  "Well, I think I can figure it out. I do praise him when he obeys."

(shaking her head in disgust)  "Your Honor, please note Makow's arrogance, typical of someone who has enjoyed the fruits of Patriarchy all his life.  What makes you think the dog should obey you?"

  "Well he belongs to me."

"How can you 'own' another living being? Aren't you being paternalistic? Doesn't he have a right to find self-fulfillment on his own terms?"

(speechless) "He's dependent on me now."

"Neighbors report that Makow often summons his dog by saying, "C'mon, you miserable mutt." This is psychological abuse."

Makow:  "I'm just kidding. It's a term of endearment."

Judge Chegundi-Tsunami -   "The dog can't tell whether you're kidding or not. It's abuse!"

"Your Honor, we've had other reports of Makow leaving his dog outside a supermarket. The dog jumps up on him when he emerges but Makow scolds him. This causes stress and self-doubt in the animal."

"Raffi has sharp claws. I know he's happy to see me; I fend him off as gently as possible."

"But you are rejecting him, nonetheless?"

Makow: "Don't men have any rights? 'When a white male is cut, does he not bleed?'"

Judge Chegundi-Tsunami: "That's enough facetiousness. I won't warn you again. You will be held in contempt."

Rutherford: "Your Honor, Makow is exhibiting the abusiveness characteristic of all white males. The pattern of white man-dog inequality is the original model for oppression throughout history. It is the cause of imperialism. By making an example of Makow, we can end injustice once and for all."

Judge Chegundi Tsunami:
"I am in complete agreement. Makow is interfering with the dog's natural instincts. The tendency of white men to try to control Nature is the reason for global warming and war, as well as discrimination against Jews, women, children, homosexuals, people of color, and animals.

Mr. Makow, you'll be able to ponder your misdeeds in jail.  Thankfully, Patriarchy is dead and you are just a hoary remnant. Your kind will be extinct in a few more years and mankind can enter a very very long period of peace and harmony.

I sentence you to 30-days and fine you $500 for animal abuse. Also, you will take a six-month Anger Management Course. I hope you'll think twice before saying "bad dog" again.

Raffi will become a ward of the State and will be raised by professionals. Mr.Makow, do you have anything to say?"

Makow: "This isn't about protecting dogs is it? It's about training white males."

Chegundi Tsunami: "Be careful what you say, Mr. Makow. I'm warning you! Bad man! Bad man!"

Comments for "Who is Pavlov's Dog? - A Satire"

Tamara said (June 3, 2012):

just read your "dog trial" and had to suppress loud laughter because it's already 1am here :)) It's too hilarious, really! Too realistic, as well. I still have some hope for humanity, although I pretty much know it's infected and feverish, but prefers to swallow dirt rather than Truth that will heal them.

But, of course, because "it must hurt in order to heal", they run away from it! Emotionally, spiritually and even intellectually weak, pathetic beings who'd rather die than face the Truth. In the end, it's the strongest who are smart and self-respectful enough to accept things outside their habitual tunnel view.

Peter said (June 2, 2012):

Well now, ain't that something. You gave us the perfect example of how those asshole Communists
twist everything out of shape so that they GET you.
My last furry pet had to be put to sleep a long time ago because she went blind and her hearing was bad.

Whenever I had something to say to her, she always looked right back at me and wagged her tail.

Because I'm retired, but not yet retarded, I never got another dog because the vets, south of the border, raised their fees to match that of humans going to the doctor's office for an OV. Then they raised the drug prices. To have a dog today is like having an extra child to care for.

Serena said (June 2, 2012):

Thanks Henry - you deserve a pat on the head and a nice big biscuit for that!

Serena aka Pavolov'sBitch.

Bruno said (June 2, 2012):

Wonderful re-enactment of past and present gender equality training or such lies. The Pavlov dog analogy is actually almost accomplished. The Russians did this experiment back then. They activated a gong or such every time before they gave the dog a goodie dog bone. Before long the dog associated the gong with something to eat and began salivating already.

But then came the cruelty of the act. They rang the gong. But before the dog could get to the dog food dish they shocked him by a live wire with electric shock. Again the dog learned that the gong and the food would cause him to be shocked and so he never again went to the food dish and eventually starved to death.

If you look around they still try the same trick. The girls offer the boys those big fake poison apples. But most of them won't bite any more. Many a teenage boy rather commits suicide. The rest of the men just let them be after so many years of abuse.

The question is what will all those feminist do when they have all the rights and jobs and privileges and more and more? Will they even notice that there are no men left any more?

I won't even tell you what the elitist illumined ones will do with them when there are no men any more to defend them. I guarantee you it will not be pretty. But it will be too late, not just for the men but worse for the women.



Thanks to your suggestion I changed the title! Very apt!


Marcus said (June 26, 2008):

Look at this article henry,


in the uk, a new equalities bill (a draft act not yet law) proposes giving companies the power to dicriminate in favour of women and ethnic minorities.

It will probably be passed, damn it sure is good being a white male.

Doggie do's and don'ts said (June 26, 2008):

Dear Henry,

a great example of the silliness of socialism/feminism as exhibited by all those frustrated old biddys that populate community centres and women's shelters! It's more or less the same here, on my side of the equator.[Australia] I seem to remember another famous dog in history - Pavlov's dog, who was steadily conditioned to respond to certain stimuli. For him its a noise or an action (or whatever - sorry , but can't remember exactly what Pavlov did now) with us, it's the front page of the newspaper or the six o'clock news, and 'celebrities' etc...

It may seem rediculous to some, but what your postulating here, is not as far away from reality as some may think. I remember when I went to a welfare legal centre some years ago, it was called the "XYZ Women's Legal Centre" and men were definitely not welcome. Eventually, the state government funding body made them remove the word 'Women's' from their title outside the office, but they still refused to help any males, by saying that "we're short of funding now, and only the most urgent cases can be taken to court by us." Unsurprisingly, none of them were acting on behalf of men in court for the next little while...

Danny said (June 26, 2008):

As ridiculous as your story may sound to some, substitute the dog for your own child/spouse etc. and we have a chilling example of where we are being led by our owners. At some point people will need to make the choice to take the red pill or the blue pill. Hopefully my waning faith in humanity will receive a lift, but I'm not holding my breath.

Keep up the excellent work, my good man.

Paul in Australia said (June 25, 2008):

Oh! Now you're preventing a canine Quadrupid (repressively identified as "yours") from achieving self actualization through making his own life choices! Does the evil never stop!

Angie said (June 25, 2008):

I'm a recovering feminist and I just want to say that I love your site. We need more people like you with the guts to just say what used to be common sense. We have to fight the "doublethink" and "newspeak". I do it all the time by being as politically incorrect as possible in my personal speech.

It is possible to un-brainwash people, but they have to see the consequences of liberal ideals first hand.

I used to call my father racist--when I lived in all white Maine, but when I moved to south Florida and had to live and work around the joys of multiculturalism, my vision cleared. It wasn't until I got married to one heck of a wonderful man that I realized how dehumanizing feminism is to men. Our marriage is strong because we realize that the most loving thing two people can do is take care of each other and men and women don't take care of each other in the same way. They have very different responsibilities to one another. We have a solid marriage because of traditional morality.

Really the way that people think nowadays is making people very miserable. All this misery and despair in what should be a wonderful world!

How could people want to inflict such suffering? I know they do, I just cant understand why.

Your insights are just terrific. I've been looking for a site like yours for a while. I caught on to the propaganda bit years ago when I spotted far too many white/black couples in advertising relative to the demographics. Since then, I also now spot metrosexual influences and of course feminist themes abound. Violence is constantly poured onto the youth. One of the most disturbing trends is the sexual themes directed at children. My brother was playing a "teen" video game the other day with a fantasy theme. It was fine for a while destroying titans and monsters, and then all of a sudden in the clouds it came to a part where the main character had to have sex with two women?!?

I'm traumatized all the time thinking about the madness being bred right now. These kids will be big someday!

Thank you for speaking out and saying what needs to be said. We all need to be doing this, we need to be talking about this.

Jocelyn said (June 24, 2008):

Now that's a cutey Henry. For years you have dished out wonderful diggings to feed our minds with historical up and outdates. This time, a little brain buster: think solely!

As I do not live any where on your Canada-America-Mexico highway (thank heavens), I don't believe one minute that any Federal Court - be it of the "Feminist Soviet of Canada" - would take such pains to prove itself so ridiculous on a RAFFI fantasy with a paranoid owner case.

However, considering the posted comments, I may be wrong? So, you have a witness (a Ms Termagant) who has a sneaky courage to sue you to court, but uncapable to give you a direct word-bashing on spot (are you 8 ft high)? Let me laugh.

A Mrs Chegundi Tsunami, Judge, "a women of colour", translated BLACK by "Lawrence"? YELLOW is also a colour... Again I laugh. What are her professional dog training credentiels and human medical psycho ones?

And a Crown Prosecutor, Ms Rutherford-Armstrong just confirms that Canada belongs to the Queen? And not to Canadians!

As to the cross question-answers, an excellent parody of all the NWO psyOps, nazi-youth system rebirthing (..."a ward of the state, raised by professionals"). Do I replace Patriarchy by world masters?

Will you be packed to Guantanamo, Henry?
A big kiss on RAFFI's nose, your ex-son.

PS - Think this one out: if all humans were to skin-strip thoroughly before a Court, tell me then how do I recognize reds, browns, blacks, yellows, pinks and whites...

Rob said (June 24, 2008):

Makow: "Raffi, KILL!

Rutherford: "AAARRGHH!!!"

Makow: "Raffi, GOOD DOG!"

Toma said (June 24, 2008):

Lawrence [below] is a retard.

Ooops... did I say 'retard'?? I meant 'intellectually challenged'. I hope I didn't offend anybody. Should you have been offended by my use of the word 'retard', please immediately contact your master.

Lawrence said (June 24, 2008):

I don’t get the point of this article. Are you insinuating that the natural position of the white man is as the leader of black people and blacks should be relegated to a position of inferiority? It was a quick read, hopefully I am mistaken…

Dear Lawrence,

The piece is about how males are being disempowered and all you can ask is, could it be offensive to Blacks or women? They have gotten to your head.

No, I do not think white men are natural leaders of Blacks nor do I think minorities and women are inferior. I do think they are being used to change the European heterosexual character of Western society. That should be obvious by the blatant discrimination and propaganda in their favor.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at