Direct Link to Latest News

 

Lament of a Spurned Homemaker

June 3, 2011


divorced-woman.jpg
"This guy was like a John-Boy Walton since I met him, and now I don't know who he is at all. It's been scary at times."


by Jessica
Orzech
(henrymakow.com)


I loved being his wife...I knew from age six that I wanted to be the wife of a loving Christian man. I married my husband of twenty years knowing full well that I did not need or want power, but love, protection and devotion.
 
My husband filled all the gaps and voids in my life and helped me clear the baggage I brought with me. I thought the years were bringing us closer, as we complimented each others' strengths and diminished each others' weaknesses. I was so happy with his leadership and guidance and most of all, his love and loyalty.

We did have and read the books by the Andelins, and found a sense of peace in knowing that our roles were not equal, but complementary.
 
I cannot fully express the joy I had and the worth I felt in doing things like cleaning our home, cooking meals, and doing all he things that make a house a home. Every moment of every day no matter where I was, I thought of my husband's needs first and made him my priority in life. Even folding and ironing his clothes were sacred moments to me, as love went into every fold and crease with gratitude to God for the opportunity to serve a man who appreciated me and my efforts.

My life revolved around my husband's as scripture states in Jeremiah 31:22 "...for the LORD hath created a new thing in the earth, A woman shall compass a man."
 
We were very happy for many years, but all seemed to change when my health took a downward turn. I could sense he was pulling away from our relationship. My questions were met with ridicule and he said I was "too dependent" on him. He began to look at me with disdain and resentment. I became even more depressed and suffered from shingles and nerve damage.
 
The more questions I had, the angrier he became. He said my life was worthless and I had nothing "going for me" beyond the home. I was living the life I had always dreamed. I thought he was living his dream as well.
 
DOUBLE LIFE

Relentless and probing questions finally brought forth an admission that he was leading a double life. He said he called an escort service a few times, but never wanted to pay the price. He came home with expensive perfume all over his shirt one day. The empty condom wrapper in his truck "belonged to a co-worker who used the vehicle." I could no longer get straight answers and was often lied to.
 
He no longer wanted any responsibility or felt a manly need to be accountable. He no longer valued having an "old fashioned" wife, and became resentful at being exposed. I became very angry at what he was putting me through.
 
What surprised me most was that he was stonewalling my efforts to save our marriage. He said that all I had ever done for him were things he could do for himself. This devaluing of my existence was his way of writing me off. This "man of God" even laughed at me when I warned that there are spiritual consequences for his decisions!
 
His actions and words now defined a new view (or his true view) of women. Women with careers who didn't 'need' a man were now desirable; women who could "hold their own" and show their power seemed to delight him. He  saw many 'liberated' and 'successful' women who didn't depend on a man, would cheat on their husbands, and had many more assets than his wife. There was no room for a wife that has medical issues and needs help.
 
I just can't wrap my mind around how trusting I was, and that I really thought no power on earth could separate us. He was an ordained man in our church. We used to pray together. We built our only home together. This guy was like a John-Boy Walton since I met him, and now I don't know who he is at all. It's been scary at times.
 
COMING TO TERMS

Sometimes my moods fluctuate day to day, bewildered, angry, hurt, sad, fearful of trusting anyone at this point. Other times I feel melancholy and miss him.

And on good days I really see my worth in Christ, days I need more of.
So I am working through this, albeit slowly. I journal almost daily because I've always enjoyed writing...I even write out prayers, especially when it feels as if God doesn't hear me. :)
 
What's sad is that he robbed me of everything that really mattered...I can't stand not having any normalcy in my life anymore, and I feel overwhelmed with the idea of a life outside of the home...ha ha...what home? He abandoned me 1500 miles from home! I am just trying hard to get back to my home state and hopefully, with God's blessing, things will work out for me.
 
Now I have to fight to keep out of the satanic system designed to enslave me into subsidized poverty, and this is not easy, as the savings he allowed me are gone, and he has decided to not be responsible for me in any way whatsoever.

I am homeless, currently unemployable, and have to depend on the kindness and generosity of others and whomever God inspires to help me stay close to Him by staying away from the most sinful and hateful society that just wants me out there slaving for TPTB.
 
I can only surmise that the Luciferian Illuminati has successfully destroyed my marriage through their propaganda of lies, illicit sex, and pornography, appealing to the desires, greed, and self absorption of the damaged male psyche.
 
My husband did not see a danger in crossing the line of marriage vows. He did not pay any mind to the scriptures he once claimed to live by, which formerly set him above most males.

He thinks he's a free man now, and knows not that he is held captive by the forces he once claimed to fight against.
 
He's turned away from God, and subsequently has thrown me into their world where the dangers ahead are more than I can bear alone.
 
He had accused me of wanting 'an easy life', and so he is now punishing me for his unfaithfulness by making sure life is as tough as it can get for me now. We were never wealthy by worldly standards, and now I am at a loss due to everything he has stolen from me...not just the material world of having a home and a safe place to be, and food on the table, but of all the richness of being one flesh I once thought we would share forever.
 
I can honestly state with certainty that he should be grateful that his 'best man' is not alive today because that MAN would have surely killed my husband...this is no joke.
 
In his last conversation by phone last year he said he no longer cares about what anyone thinks of him or his actions....I guess that includes God Himself.
 
 


Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "Lament of a Spurned Homemaker"

Jessica (author) said (June 6, 2011):

Yes,I saw the article...I have to thank you because seeing it was a healing moment for me. I just felt heard and understood by folks of like mind.

We never had children, but I wanted at least four. God never blessed us in that way. We did have the opportunity in 2005 to adopt a baby in an easy adoption, and I wanted to, but my husband robbed me of that also. I felt that decision was sinful, as my heart can love any children.

I had a part time job for two years as a tour guide at YY around 2003, which was extra $ for building our home. In the 90's I also worked part time as a tour guide at XX for about three years. I loved both jobs as they are more like teaching, and I specialized in children's tours.

Funny, Saturday I rec'd papers from my husband's female attorney...they want me to sign away all rights to everything. I can comprehend enough of the legal jargon to know I should not sign them. Just when I think I can't be shocked anymore, I get surprised.

Henry, he didn't just leave me, he cut out everyone he knew, like he left to another planet! Friends, ministers, doctors, barber, etc. many have been hurt and stunned. Normal guys don't do that, nor do they leave their wives destitute. This has been freaky for all!

I just passed the one year mark since he left, and honestly, without God, I wouldn't have lived through it. And you know what I've learned about myself? I allowed a man, my husband, to come before God too often in my life. I was guilty of idolatry! But that's another story....

There could be many factors as to why I have the adrenal disorder/shingles. I know the back and hip problems became worse from being literally thrown around, and abused, which only happened when I was onto the truth. His last assault to my face caused tooth loss and dental bills. I was told by an MD that I am in constant 'fight or flight' response from being so scared. I refused to take pills, so I treat myself with homeopathic meds and supplements. I have improved over the year, but until I get settled someplace, its an uphill battle.

His sexual addiction began at age ten, and now he can't stand the fact that I know the truth, so dumping me is the easiest way, I guess. And dumping everyone else shows me that he wants to hold onto his facade and surround himself with new people who know nothing about him.

Only intervention from God will bring him around, and my pastor said that my husband has given himself over to a reprobate mind. It's as if he lost his conscience.


Laura said (June 4, 2011):

The reverse happened to my bro yrs back; she left him, two girls and took up with a man and both ended up on drugs. Several women I know ditto their sons; I know a hand full of women thru the yrs who were raising kids, some working, husbands left w/ women. I saw this stuff happening in the 70's which is why I chose not to have kids and cont. working..the odds are high now days (divorce)..Look at these politicians :Edwards, Newt G, Clinton, and many others incl local politicians all levels of gov.

Even the clergy (several) near me ran off w/ women, most got divorced (mid life crisis types) This should send a signal to men and women not to have kids period and women need to stay in the workforce!!..there are zero guarantees in marriage. I even suspected my husband running around early in my marriage. Who can really be trusted totally? No one! This incl telling someone, incl family members, personal info, then they gossip later on. Or even loaning money to friends: never a good idea.


Tom said (June 4, 2011):

For crying out loud, get a female lawyer! With all the damage they do to innocent men, they should have a field day here.


Debra Siddons said (June 4, 2011):

If God's Law were in effect (re-instated), Jessica's husband very likely would not have cheated on her, for fear of his life (due to deterrence by a death penalty), and would have been forced to deal with his ill wife, which would have been the right thing to do,both seeking help from God.

If God's Law were in effect, there would be no pornography, feminism, accepted illicit sex, etc.

Had the "best man" killed him, which by Law would have been right , he might have been jailed, or executed by the lawless, corrupt, fraudulent-law making governments enslaving all mankind.

So, the solution in re-instating God's Law is not about starting to kill adulterers, and homosexuals, but recognizing His Law (thee DETERRENCE), and use God's Law to stop all this evil behaviour in a nation of people seeking to abide by His Law, and thus free of Satanism. Where is this nation of people seeking to live their lives as God intended separately from others, but instead enslaved?

At the moment this does not exist because people, and those who have the means, refuse to fight.


Roshan said (June 4, 2011):

Please convey this prayer to Jessica Orzech and advise her to recite it as often as she can. If she finds peace again, let her praise God. Here is the prayer: La ilaha illalla.

No matter who it is whether it is the Illuminati or our own spouse, it is Satan and he is an open enemy to mankind till the day of judgment. The reciter of this prayer negates and nullifies satanism and testifies that there is one God.


Steven said (June 4, 2011):

This essay brings to mind a problem which has come to my attantion lately and that is the problem of keeping ones word.

It seems that for some people oathes of office, promises, vows and contracts are merely words and have no power make people meet their obligations. Elements of society are with out honor. It is deplorable when ordinary people are with out honor and absolutely dangerous when leaders have no honor. Society is in big trouble Henry.


S.G. said (June 4, 2011):

As hard as it is, let him go. Your former husband has chosen to serve Satan, and whatever it is that he thinks of as his "life" is a counterfeit. His mind is full of darkness and he is consumed by shadows. Be glad he is not around you any longer. You will find over time that you cannot tolerate what once seemed only subtle shades of evil, excusable lies, small cruelties or thoughtless snubs.

I, too, was the all-sacrificing homemaker and wife. One day, after 15 years, my so-called husband left me, complaining that it was my fault he had to get a lawyer because I was not cooperating. He left love letters from his girlfriends and hotel receipts for me to find. While my bills piled up, he set up housekeeping with his lover, traveled the world and blew thousands of dollars on drugs and "entertainment."

Let me suggest that you take this time to witness and understand the true nature of the world. Recommit to God and renounce the darkness that would creep into the souls of these men and others. You and I are not helpless. You have been fooled, as I and countless others, including those to whom we were married, have been fooled. At least you and I didn't give up our souls for a bit of stimulation.

He may find one day that he misses your boundless devotion and sacrifice, and that he no longer likes having to be responsible for the zillion details that you took care of. Perhaps his idea of freedom will re-align itself more closely with God's idea of freedom, and not the slavery offered by the devil. If so, I hope that you will have filled your life with so much light and peace that you no longer have room for dark, lost, sick souls beyond prayers.


W.G. said (June 4, 2011):

My wife and I accepted one another flaws and all, and to be honest, I did get the better part of the bargain. She was a loving, kind, and determined woman, determined to have the kind of life she'd always wanted, in spite of the obstacles life threw in her way. There seemed to be no end to the depth of her heart, and she helped me to become the man I am today.

When I was weak she stood by me, when I was strong I was able to hold her up and comfort her as well. . We worked as a team, as partners, she put me at the head, comparing me to her father, which to me was quite a honor. I don't understand why we humans never seem to appreciate what we have. There's always a temporal distraction thrown up by the enemy to weaken us or take our eyes off the prize. It's sad but true, we are all susceptible.

When my wife became ill, it was a horrible thing, but we endured it, she was a trooper, yet although it appeared our roles had reversed. . I becoming the caretaker of her health. . It was hardly the case, it was her heart, and love that kept me going, when all hope was lost. . It was her faith in me, that helped me wake up and face the day. . My faith in God was strong, but hers helped hold us together in the face of adversity. . I have been told most men would have up and walked on the situation. . I don't believe that, yet in some ways I believe many may have, but I could not, nor would I have ever. .

I don't understand the mindset of those who would turn their backs on everything, for things that are temporary . I was blessed to have a woman in my life who loved me as much as she loved her own life. . and I was honored to care for her until her death. . I still miss her, but I am still a part of "her" family, they have and always will treat me as such. It's the kind of people they are.

There are many distractions and deceptions in the world. . We as men, must stand tall and be the men we are put here on this earth to be. . Leaders, protectors of our families, and all the other things which are necessary for us to do. . It's far too easy to spurn such things, but it's the true sign of manhood, when we stand our ground and do for those in our charge. . It's what God wants of us, and what those around us need from us. . It's a sacred honor to be able to do so. . I am thankful I had the opportunity, and wish more men would do so. .

My heart goes out to Jessica Orzech, her article touched my heart deeply and I will pray for her. Women like her are the "pearls of great price". There are women like her, but they are fewer and fewer. .

Thank you for an incredible article, and God Speed Jessica.


Al said (June 4, 2011):

Just read Jessica Orzech's article on your website. This is just an abomination that her husband abandoned her when she became ill and "worthless" or "too dependent." I feel bad for her because she trusted her husband and she did the things that were expected of her and she gets paid back by abandoning her 1500 miles from her home.

I was married for 32 years and I never cheated on my wife. But she threw me under the bus and basically destroyed our lives because of this so-called feminism.

What it all really is all about is Satanism. Satanism is everything that we do that offends God. Whatever we think, do, or say--if it is offensive to God it is satanic.

Only God can restore me, Jessica, and others who have been wronged by our spouses.

When I got divorced, I felt like was was being cut in half; but I didn't die. I tried dating and that just made it worse. People date and try each other on as if they were a piece of clothing that they were trying on to see if they like it. I abhor the dating process as there is little to no moral structure to it. Just when I start feeling sorry for myself, I hear or see a case like Jessica's and her situation is worse than mine. Either way, it wasn't good for anyone. Divorce is the scourge of the family. Look at how the politicians shame their family and friends. Think about it. If they do that to their own families, what do you suppose they will do to us?

What can anyone say to Jessica? What happy words are going to make her feel better? I have other woman friends who have gone through the same type of thing: being completely dishonored by their husbands, money stolen from them, and having their lives devastated. When I learn how to feel better about it I'll share it with her.

But I am absolutely sickened by society today because of the communist-pagan attack on the marriage. Do I tell Jessica or my woman friends that everything will be alright? No. It's a problem that must be solved and destroying feminism would be a good place to start.


Women like Jessica are a treasure to the world and these women are looked down upon by feminists. God will make it all come out in the wash, but it would be nice that somehow someone will come along and treat her the way she deserves. I successfully raised a family and provided a nice home but when some troubles came along, I was thrown under the bus.

I don't want to be like any of those people any longer. I stay to myself just for self preservation.

And it's hard to develop a relationship with women, especially at my age, because they simply don't trust men in general. I suppose that can be said that men don't trust women. That is obviously a natural defense reaction but I'm not sure if it is completely justified. Because we all have a learning curve. And just because one woman is not trustworthy, doesn't mean they all are untrustworthy.

Tell Jessica that I was touched by her story and my heart goes out to her. God our creator will make it right for her.


Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at