Nine Traits of Masculine Men

May 2, 2012

makowmenopause21.jpeg
(For the guidance of my more humorless readers, this image is tongue-in cheek. And yes, it is a Honda. I just posed on a neighbor's.)












by Bobbi Wingham
(a woman, ex feminist)
(abridged from May 14, 2009)


Women need to encourage men to be who they really are and not who women think they should be. 

This means women should back off.  But, for the guys out there who haven't got a clue who they are and what real women want and need, here goes:

 

The Traits of a Masculine Man

 

  1. Confidence:  Believe in yourself, not only that you can do what you set out to do, but that you already are what you need to be (even if on the outside it doesn't yet show.)  

 

  1. Courage:  A masculine man is courageous (I'm not talking about being willing to do stupid stunts, either), willing to do what is necessary without showing weakness (even if he is scared to death.)  A man cannot be truly courageous and brave if he does not fear something. 

 

  1. Responsibility:  Take responsibility for what happens in your life and stop being a victim.  Being a victim is exactly what society expects you to be.  Be who you really are intended to be - a leader and victor.  Make plans and carry them out.  Don't fear failure.  

 

  1. Discipline:  Take charge of your life and what goes on in it.  Carry out and complete your goals.  Do everything you say you will do.  Eat right and stay in shape, therefore you will also be able to think more clearly.

 

  1. Honesty, Integrity, and Kindness:  Be honest with yourself and others holding yourself to the highest of standards.  Find the fine line between kindness and honesty when necessary.  Sometimes, one is more important than the other.  With some finesse, you will be able to be honest and kind at the same time.  Be kind and gentle toward women, children, and the elderly. 

 

  1. Treat Women Like Women:  Most of today's men don't seem to have a clue anymore (this is largely because of Feminism).  I take my kids to Judo practice and am saddened by what I experience there.  There are only a few chairs and they are always full of both men and women.  When I arrive, not one man ever offers me his chair - a masculine thing.  Real men honor women.  Real men treat others with respect and dignity.  

 

  1. Listen:  We have two ears and one mouth for good reason - we are supposed to be doing twice as much listening as speaking.  When a woman speaks, listen with your heart.  Instead of thinking, "Oh great, here she goes again." think, "She has a need.  What is it?  What can I do to help."  This goes against the nature of today's men, it seems.  They want to strike back and have forgotten who they are dealing with.  When a woman lets you know she 's upset, what she is really doing is asking you to take charge and help her.  It is a cry for help.  Most of the time she will just need your love, understanding, and a listening ear. But under no circumstances are you to take abuse from her.  Make that very clear.  You must keep your cool.  A woman will not respect a man who looses his cool.

 

  1. Defend the Weak:  Protect and provide for your family and anyone who is being unfairly attacked.  Consider getting martial arts training; learn to use guns and keep them ready, etc.  Be prepared for disasters and have a plan.  Refuse to allow anyone to overstep their boundaries, but be smart about how you accomplish this.  Plan ahead.  Remember, you are a leader so act like one.
9.   Inspire submission: A masculine man in a relationship with a woman   will always inspire and never force her submission. He will remain a gentleman at all times.

 

For women who want this kind of man (and most do no matter what they say), this is the easy part. 

You don't have to give your man a long list of rules or tell him how to be a man; it's already there inside him.  Just step back, show him respect, and let him decide. 

Encourage him gently not so much with words but by your actions.  Give him time and space.  If you step back he'll have to step up to fill the void you once filled, or else there is no relationship.

--


Related -- Manliness








Comments for "Nine Traits of Masculine Men"

Jim said (May 2, 2012):

Reading this article spurred a memory;

My borderline personality disordered ex-wife once told me, "If the woman isn't happy, then no one's happy." To which I replied, "Well, I can make everyone miserable too if I don't get my way." It was probably the first time in her life she was without words.


Bill said (May 2, 2012):

Why should I give up my seat for a woman? Why is a woman more valuable than a man? Seriously, I do not understand that. What if we turned that around and insisted that women honor men by opening doors for us and giving up their seats for us for the next century or so to make up for all we have done for them in the past?

http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/01/the-misandry-bubble.html

The Western World has quietly become a civilization that undervalues men and overvalues women, where the state forcibly transfers resources from men to women creating various perverse incentives for otherwise good women to conduct great evil against men and children, and where male nature is vilified but female nature is celebrated. This is unfair to both genders, and is a recipe for a rapid civilizational decline and displacement, the costs of which will ultimately be borne by a subsequent generation of innocent women, rather than men, as soon as 2020.

I am seriously fed up with women treating me like crap and telling me how to be a REAL MAN. Who died and left them boss? I am not interested in "honoring" them. I will be polite to them, but I do not trust any of them. Frankly, that goes for men too - until they prove themselves trustworthy.

http://antimisandry.com/discrimination-sexist-double-standards/12-indisputable-indicators-men-second-class-citizens-usa-34354.html#ixzz1tRleCN3b

Furthermore, I am a survivor of DV (Domestic Violence). All DV is wrong! VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) is probably the most bigoted misandric piece of legislation (trash) ever devised. The latest US Center Disease Control clearly show that 53% of all DV victims are male. Yet, we are not permitted to protect men in the same manner that we protect women! Why? Because it is not Politically Correct to acknowledge and/or discuss the clear fact that women are also perpetrators of DV. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lHmCN3MBMI

Men need protection from violent women. VAWA excludes men. This is unconstitutional and MUST change. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbYZ1l8kPOI


Syd said (May 2, 2012):


Definition of an "ex-feminist":

A woman who turns 40 and is unmarried.


Henrique said (May 2, 2012):

Agree absolutely with Dan [below.] Exactly my thoughts, haha. By the way, men aren't and never were romantic by nature; in fact, romanticism and Lady-Gentlemen culture was introduced to mess up relationships and de-humanize them. Romanticism is unnatural.

Arthur Schopenhauer was on spot when called it out as a British disease spreading throughout Europe. Hyper-valorization of women is a source of many problems and one of the greatest signs of a decadent civilization.


Omar said (May 17, 2009):

The list is wise, though I take slight issue with the “walking away” from a woman picking a fight.

For women like this:

http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/01/21/relationships-with-borderline-narcissistic-personality-women/

Engendering a reaction is the raison d’etre so to speak. It is all about pushing and poking to provoke someone. It’s a bizarre form of desiring power. In cases like this – the BEST response is to simply walk away, I’ve found, and completely ignore.

With a child, of course, its different. But even then, a steady gaze without “budging” eventually can calm a tantrum.


Sasha said (May 16, 2009):

(on a related subject)

This was the quote by Moscow's City Hall spokesman Sergei Tsoi with reference to Russia's staunch stance against the Gay Pride parade manufactured (and likely engineered by Western interests) while hosting the Eurovision 2009 music contest. Russia has been opposed to this for sometime.

I personally agree (though I do not condone violence). The same thing happened in Serbia with as much Western 'outrage'. No wonder both countries (especially Russia) are being targeted by the Globalists. What do you think?


"(Gay pride events) not only destroy moral foundations of our society, but also purposefully provoke disturbances that will threaten the lives and safety of Moscow residents and guests," City Hall spokesman Sergei Tsoi was quoted by the ITAR-Tass news agency as saying Saturday.


Dan said (May 16, 2009):

I am so sick of women telling men what they think and how to be men. From feminists to ex-feminists, apparently the only people with valuable opinions on how to be a 'man' are women. I don't care what women think and real men don't care what women think. The natural use of women is not thinking. Let's change the dialogue. From now on, the men will tell the women how to be women. The men will work out ideal female behavior and communicate it to you. The only thing women need do is what their men tell them to.

One thing is certain, the women will disagree, be miserable and want something different. But the men will be happier! This will be a vast improvement over the current situation where the women disagree, are miserable and want something different and the men are miserable as well.


John said (May 16, 2009):

As I was reading this article, I could not help but conclude how similar these traits are to the virtues of Christ. It just goes to show how much we (the world) needs Jesus. Funnily (or co-incidentally) Jesus is recorded as saying in the Gospels, "Without me ye can do nothing." The more I see what man is doing to the world and the downward spiral it is in, the stronger this saying becomes.

Really, how true. Without Him we can do nothing. And that goes for not only saving ourselves, but in the relationships we have with others (and man's relationship with a woman) and with the virtues we pass onto our kids. It also points to the fact that this diabolical cabal have to undermine Christianity to implement their warped agenda.

And for Judy (below), sometimes it's good to take things at face value and not to point to the person being an ex-feminist. People can change. God can change them. And we owe it to others to give them the benefit of that doubt. The main thing is to weigh the article against the Spirit of Truth and see how it stands. I'd say the article is spot on.


Jim said (May 16, 2009):

I enjoyed Bobbi Wingham's Nine traits of Masculine men article. I'll give copies of it to my sons and study it myself.

I was happy to see you mentioning the right, and necessity, of self defense and protecting the weak. I have several guns, with ammo, packed away in the house just in case. Fortunately the state of Georgia where I live is friendly to citizens being armed in order to defend themselves.

For those considering study of a martial art or looking for a character-building sport I strongly recommend Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, which one of my sons and I have trained in for the past 7 years. It is a grappling, not a striking art, where the really dangerous and destructive attacks, like eye gouging for example, have been eliminated so what is left can be practiced full strength with one's training partners with relative safety. The live training is a huge part of the learning process. Out on the street there is no substitute for having spent lots of time doing actual fighting, facing one's fears. It is commonly observed that simply knowing how to fight can often defuse tense situations.

The object is to force the opponent to submit, that is, give up by tapping twice with his hand. Where in other martial arts the students mostly learn dance-like moves in isolation, In Jiu Jitsu every practice has 30 minutes or so of live fighting against other students. It's great exercise. The only way to master the skills being taught is to face being submitted hundreds of times on the way to a higher belt level. They hold tournaments where people can test themselves in competition. This builds both modesty and confidence. Even the world champion fighters in our school have a strong sense of modesty. On the other hand the sport is safe enough that our school also has children's classes. Perhaps the most surprising aspect of the sport is that I had no idea we would make so many good friends doing it.

Those interested in checking out Brazilian Jiu Jitsu can go to...

You tube - The only Marcelo Garcia video that matters

www,graciemag.com

Best wishes as always, Henry, I salute your unflinching drive to see the truth as it really is and wake the rest of us up to it whether we like it or not.


Judy said (May 15, 2009):

First time I must find fault with the content of your almost uniformly excellent website. Masculinity and femininity, like all abstractions, are illusive qualities dependent upon differing personalities, physical makeup, cultural patterns, etc. It disturbs me to see a "former" feminist setting out a rule book on how to be masculine. (Doesn't she see the irony here?) Feminists, often, former or not, are control freaks. Please no more "how to" books in the Age of prescriptive behavior. Allow little boys the company of their fathers and other men and beyond the nursery years be taught largely by men. Let men handle being men.

And why the picture of an actor, presumably exemplifying masculinity? Even Clark Gable famously said,"Acting is no job for a man." Let's not careen from one error to another.


Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at