Sanford & Sons -- Service is a Higher Form of Love
June 28, 2009
by Henry Makow Ph.D
Why can't we find a grown man who will put responsibility to country, wife and family above the allure of sex?
Arrested development is widespread. It is caused by a secular religion which takes sex and romance to be real love and spiritual fulfillment.
Gov. Mark Sanford, 49, a Christian Conservative, didn't spend Father's Day with his four sons. He flew off to Buenos Aires to be with his mistress Maria, 43, starting a two-week trial separation from his wife of 20 years, Jenny, 47.
By "listening to his heart" Sanford betrayed both his family and his nation. Like Eliot Spitzer, he was considered a front-runner for the GOP Presidential nomination in 2012. Like Spitzer, Mark Sanford has damaged his career at a time when America is sorely in need of honest, competent leadership.
Sanford's personal emails to Maria from July 2008 were hacked by another of her suitors. They reveal that even at the pinnacle of his career, Sanford was seeking spiritual fulfillment in romance instead of service.
He complains that he has been dominated by his head for too long. "You have my heart," he says. Love "has become a real need of mine. You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that is so fitting with your beauty...Above all else I love that inner beauty about you."
Sanford is idealizing this woman, easy to do when you have limited contact.(She is a divorcee who recommends Alan Greenspan's last book, and is looking for a therapist.) By loving her, Sanford thinks he can possess her spiritual qualities and sophistication. He can't. He must cultivate these qualities in himself.
He seems to miss his mother's love: "She had the ultimate of all gifts -- and that was the ability to love unconditionally. The rarest of all commodities in this world is love. It is that thing that we all yearn for at some level -- to be simply loved unconditionally for nothing more than who we are -- not what we can get, give or become."
Love isn't a Freebie. It has to be earned. We're not babies any more. The only time we have a "soul mate" is when the woman self effaces completely. I'd never want to chain anyone to me. God is our soul mate.
He talks about operating an earth excavator on his farm at sunrise:
"There is something wonderful about listening to country music playing in the cab, air conditioner running, the hum of a huge diesel engine in the background, the tranquility that comes with being in a virtual wilderness of trees and marsh, the day breaking and vibrant pink coming alive in the morning clouds -- and getting to build something with each scoop of dirt. It is admittedly weird but one of my more favorite ways of escaping the norms, constant phone calls and formalities that go with the office -- and it probably fits with my weakness in doing rather than being."
"Being rather than doing." Rather than pursue a chimera in Argentina, Sanford needs to read Eckhart Tolle and meditate. We all try to suck our happiness from the world like vampires when we only need to give our souls some nourishment and room to breathe.
Sex and romance belong to the courtship and procreation stage.
Once we have a reasonably successful marriage and family, commitment is more important. From commitment comes trust and from trust comes love. If we can't commit, we should end the marriage before straying.
Sanford's wife Jenny is an attractive, educated woman who served as his campaign manager. She is the mother of his four sons. The novelty goes out of any relationship. It is replaced by devotion to the people who love you, to your progeny (your organic growth) and to making a better world for them to inhabit.
When we enter into relationships, we have responsibilities: to our wives, children, voters etc. We can't blow them off for someone else's "inner beauty."
Sanford and Spitzer are not Illuminati. This may be why they have suffered these blows.
But they showed a lack of maturity by making themselves so vulnerable.
God's Will won't be done on earth unless men and women do it. The world is in the grip of a Satanic cult, the Illuminati. They are creating a world police state. We desperately need leaders who are willing to sacrifice themselves to God, and put their family and country first. In service, they will find a higher and more fulfilling love.
Related- Eliot Spitzer , A Lesson for All Men
Sanford - The Luv Guv
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Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at