Sex & Romance: Detours on the Road of Life

July 15, 2009

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by Henry Makow, Ph.D.

As I approach my 60th birthday (in November), my biggest regret in life is the time and energy I wasted in the pursuit of the fair sex.

If I am any indication, nature hard wires males to have sexual intercourse for the purpose of propagation. Mercifully, nature has released me from its powerful programming. But when I was younger, I surrounded the fertile female with an angelic aura and considered her sexual fulfillment a peak experience. Little did I suspect that I was embarked on a major detour.

Nature's programming is augmented by society's. In Illuminati controlled movies and education, sex is cast as life's ultimate experience and a prerequisite for spiritual and mental health. School children in the UK are now learning that an an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away! The Illuminati control us through porn, promiscuity and sex addiction. They want us to have sex but not families, so they don't encourage monogamy. No longer will we get identity and meaning from our family roles (husband, wife, sister, brother, mother, father.) 

Sex is also used to distract us from the fact that we are being colonized by the Illuminati in a world government. 

Isn't it suspicious that pharmaceutical corporations would pass up the lucrative opportunity to market a safe drug that suppresses the sex drive? 

Drugs like Viagra help people copulate into old age, but there are none for people who wish to keep their sanity and perspective by dulling their hormones' effect. There is also a huge demand for such a drug from loving couples with mismatched sex drives.



ADVICE TO MY YOUNGER SELF

From the vantage point of experience, I would tell my 25-year-old self: Don't be such a sap. Stop being a victim of nature's programming and society's brainwashing. Reprogram yourself. You don't need sex. You don't need "love."   It's all in the mind. People seek what they are taught to seek, are drawn to what they are told is attractive. Take charge of your life. Make those decisions yourself.

Don't look for a woman to nurture and encourage you. The emptiness you feel is due to your lack of vocation.  Seek self confidence and recognition from your work, not from a "relationship." Use your God-given talents to do what you were born to do. Make that your first priority.

Look for a helpmate, not a soul mate, someone who is compatible yet different, and learn to value the difference.  Don't look for someone who "understands" you. Don't look for yourself. Look for someone with whom you can live without friction, comfortably and creatively.

The fact that most men choose on the basis of sex appeal means there are many women with personality and talent available. Marry one of these, someone whose character and skill-set complements your own. Sex appeal is not a good basis for marriage. There is no correlation between physical beauty and character.

Don't expect perfection. You're not perfect either. Enjoy the good and accept the bad. Don't have unrealistic expectations. Marriage is a loving, living and working arrangement, not a heavenly state.

Wait to have children until you are established in terms of career and maturity. Don't have children by accident. Have them as a conscious act of love. They are your organic growth, an extension of yourself. They represent an ongoing act of love and demonstrate faith in God, life and the future.

CONCLUSION

If I had to do it over again, I'd try to take charge of my life rather than dumbly respond to natural and social programming. I'd focus on varied goals and not look to "love" for happiness. I'm grateful that despite all my mistakes, I was finally able to find a degree of happiness and stability in marriage.

---

Related: Obama Science Czar Advocates War on Traditional Family
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/beltway-confidential/More-Holdren-Traditional-family-is-obsolete-50807107.html

my "Overrated: Young Women, Sex, Romance & Lobster"

and "Men Who Get Women"



Comments for "Sex & Romance: Detours on the Road of Life"

Chris said (July 17, 2009):

yes..the matriarchal spirit is in control now...like out in the open...i even saw it in my parents as my father who was highly intelligent[doctor] and grew up in what seemed to be a patriachal universe was told NOT to do a specific harmless task by my mother and he "jumped" and dropped what he was doing...for he "truly loved her"..the Arabs are the only holdouts now for patriarchy now..and they are being exterminated by big sister[sic]..as we all will be who do not comply to her wishes. My very liberal socialist x-wife applauds the attacks on the "mullahs" of Iran..."their woman are abused!]


Richard said (July 16, 2009):

I'm going to be blunt. We know that the sex fixation took root (no pun intended) in our modernized countries when boys started getting away with masturbating to dad's leftover Playboy magazines. I know for a fact people of my grandparents generation and previous never masturbated in youth - it never occurred to them.

The average family was six siblings with both a mother and father living in the house, and often a grandparent living in the house as well. There was no privacy. In addition, nobody spoke of sex. Even when I was in high school most girls didn't even know girls didn't do it.

It wasn't till after WWII family size plummeted to 2.2 children in the house, many getting their own private rooms which was previously unheard of for the working classes. After the war also the environment was inundated with sexual innuendo images in advertising, movies and magazines - and comic books. And of course it was Springtime for Hefner and and Kinsey Report.

Among all the sexual promotion crap I read long ago in Penthouse plus the things girls read in Cosmo during the 70's masturbation was heavily condoned, encourages, with instructions on how to do it for both sexes including instructions on how to teach it!

I know most people now will laugh their heads off at the suggestion that it's masturbation happening and now encouraged and an ever younger age for either sex which caused this sexual 'instant gratification' issue as well as sexualized idolization of the opposite sex. It's a juvenile fixation.

I know for a fact men of my grandfather's generation didn't put women on pedestals because they were adult men before they had any idea what a girl looks like under her clothes, much less what can be done with one.

Sexual 'awareness' is useless and dangerous to children and teens. It has no context before adulthood and self sufficiency. That's why they termed the age of adulthood the 'age of consent'.
Now all 21 means is 'the age you can drink in a bar without a fake ID'.


Dan said (July 16, 2009):

The comments from your reader Anne [below] are quite common in America with people who've never actually spoken to women living in the countries where our media tells us the woman have no power.
The roles and 'rules' created for women and men in this country now are, I believe, unprecedented in history and pre-history. I can find no culture like it.

But any anthropologist can confirm women in nearly any pre-industrialized culture all had more or less the same traditional roles as ours did and were certainly not treated like 'animals', with the exception of criminals, adulteresses and prostitutes. Roman and Greek women, Viking women, Muslim, or Cherokee women of those cultures in particular had better legal protections and rights of property than poor women do in our culture today. In our culture 'rights' and legal protection depend upon the quality of legal representation one can afford. I can cite chapter and verse on cases of women being treated like animals in our 'progressive' American culture - by the State.

Family sustained by viturous men and women were always the real security and protection from being treated like cattle. I hope enough people can realize we're living in one of the most abnormal cultures on record. Human rights in general are in decline at an alarming rate.


Jose said (July 16, 2009):

I've been reading your many excellent articles on and off and just wanted to say thank you for all the wonderful and helpful information they provide. I specially loved the 'Advice to my younger self' on the "Sex and Love: Detours on the road of life" article. It speaks to me so perfectly, even though I'm a 'homosexual' :o)


Bob said (July 16, 2009):

This group who many have decided to call the Illuminati pander to the world not unlike the street walkers and the pedophiles who defile the naive and vulnerable. Instead of big heaving breasts loosely concealed in tank tops, they use methods more advanced but born from the same back street. The Illuminati own the road and they have paved it with propaganda and detours that lead too the many perversions mudding the clear water of our perspectives.

My first Illuminati Road map was my fathers playboy magazines; which I detoured out of his suitcase.This then detoured me into the girl next door at 9 years old and eventually out of high school into a dead end job. About the Playboy mags. My father knew I was looking at them but said nothing; perhaps, because he thought they were illuminating. Sadly he was right.

Henry this is the powerful programming we need to detour from and not from our dirty impulses you and me and many of us misconstrue or misinterpret as perversion and not fulfillment. Henry we all need to be baptized.

Baptized from the evil that is the New World Order.

God Bless and God Save Canada.

A voice in the wilderness,


Farhan said (July 16, 2009):

i am from pakistan, 27, male, and just beginning to open my mind to the world we are living in. i visited your website and admittedly your articles broadened my worldview and added value even further - thanks ! I have kept myself protected and aloof from the "sex culture" not by design but by chance given the fact that I am a muslim and living in Pakistan. here in pakistan, not that there arnt any opportunities to waste one's youth in promiscuity, relatively speaking, it is only reserved for the totally depraved and immoral folks. public discussion on sex is very much taboo and media is greatly censored. i have seen hollywood movies and i know the kind of culture the americans, the europeans, the canadians and the rest of western world is living in. here a public peck on the lip would tantamount to a civil riot. however, thanks to globalization, our society is also doing downhill in terms of social morality. anyway...

these were basically some random thoughts on July 15 article titled "Sex & Romance: Detours on the Road of Life".. I like the title a lot. its creative. wanted to thank you for sharing your insights...


Karen said (July 16, 2009):

Reading your last article about love sex and romance and the diversions, it was interesting reading some of the answers people had. I certainly agree with a lot of what the men are saying, I just recently started a relationship. Already there are differences in how men and women behave and act. I let him take control of the situation, be the leader and he is happy to do so.

My boys ask are men and women equal. I admit many years ago, I would have answered a resounding yes, but now I know that there are definitive differences between men and women and I tell them that men are good at certain things that women are not good at and visa versa. There are differences that compliment and over lap but don’t take over or drown out the other. I admit to being a modern woman, a woman who likes her independence, if that is modern or not, but in times gone by in ancient societies, successful women were independent, even if they were married to their partner, but, they always let the man take the lead and expected him to do so in certain matters. I don’t mind saying I like a man who can take the lead and say what he needs to say and do. Women don’t want wimpy wishy washy types with no backbone and certainly we need someone who can see us for who we are but adore us, not worship us. That’s not right, but adore is a good response, Keep the articles coming, they’re really good, and have helped in my relationships with my boys to see where they need to go.


Barry said (July 16, 2009):

Hi Henry! Your "Sex and Romance: Detours On The Road Of Life" article is terrific! Well said! Few understand that life and love evolve into something much more difficult after the infatuation (illusion) stage of romance is overtaken by the reality of differences and needed compromise and most of the sexual positions of the Kama Sutra have been tried and dismissed.

The sweet romantic comedies never take anyone very far into relationships, seeming always to end as the happy lovers approach the altar. The Hallmark channel shows all have happy endings though the divorce rate soars. Yup! Sex and romance sells product, whether cars, diamonds, honeymoons, romantic novels or magazines. Even weddings have become an industry......of fantasy.

But something else is also happening. That more and more younger people whose hormones are still pumping are turning to Cialis, Viagra and a myriad of other sexual stimulants, including porn, tells me that sex is more and more disappointing, sex is less interesting, and perhaps more threatening than ever before.

Expectations are getting higher and higher, as is fear of failure. I wonder if anyone actually has a four-hour erection and needs to call a doctor as the ads warn. Or is that warning just another sales gimmick?

Too often now, the American "goddess" has a feminist "chip" on her shoulder and only a fool ignores that and sees a "goddess". So the "goddess" who wants someone to idolize her ends up with a fool that she deserves and will end up despising him for the fool he is.

Anyway, increasing population, dwindling resources, and a failing economy will possibly force a more reality-based attitude about romance and sex.


Peter said (July 16, 2009):


Since I have become involved in the mens movement I see the backlash has started. Men have, over the last 40 years, bent over backwards to accommodate what women said they wanted. It was 'never enough'. Men have moved into the second phase of hostilities with women which is to dis-engage and minimise contact with the ones we don't like. We are working hard to develop understanding of common law and rescind our consent to be governed by 'Family Law'.

Should women continue to be hostile and abusive to men, men will go to the next step which is to actively engage women in hostilities. Some already have. In which case women will be 'toast'. Just try www.menarebetterthanwomen.com for more aggressive challenge to women. Dick Masterson is great! He is getting into the face of feminist women and calling them out for what they are.

My assessment is that if the common men like us defeat the Illuminati and create a post Illuminati society, men like me will insist women are dis-enfranchised. Why? Because when they were given a wiff of power they used it and abused men in their tens of millions. They proved they were unworthy and unable to wield the power given them by the Illuminati via the state for the benefit of their families, preferring instead to use all the unjust power given to them for their own benefit only, and even to the detriment of even their children. I don't think men will forget their willingness to betray them so quickly. Russia tells us this is the case.

I think we will see father only custody and statutes that allow men to retain all their property and not be forced to give it to a woman just because he marries her. The future of women looks bleak no matter who wins the current power struggle.


Ted said (July 16, 2009):

I just read your latest article on Detours on the Road of Life. I went down the same road; letting my overactive libido make decisions instead of my better sense. This led to a lot of misery and regret. Many times I wished my sex drive would just go away and leave me alone. It's an annoying burden, which in hindsight I wish I had done more to minimize.

Like you, I am also at an age now where my sexual drive has mercifully been reduced. I feel human again and can go for long periods of time without sexual images or base cravings rudely interrupting my thought process. It feels quite liberating.

Sex has its place, but is way overrated in our society. Moderate sexual relations between men and women, in the context of a loving relationship, is optimal. Sexual worship or addiction is an aberration and will lead to misery.

Proper diet and lots of exercise will help mitigate the sex drive. The use of stimulants, such as coffee and alcohol, irritate the system and increase the sex drive. Also, eating a lot of red meat and processed foods (and sugar) will have the same effect.

I raised three boys and always had them involved in sports when they were growing up. We provided a healthy and balanced diet and encouraged them to explore a variety of interests. None of them developed the strong desire that I had for female company when I was their age. Women never became the prime focus of their lives. They have learned how to live their lives without a woman being a necessity, but instead being (hopefully) a loving choice.
-----

Ted,

Thanks so much for this sane example.

Henry


Anne said (July 16, 2009):

Did it occur to you that it is necessary for a man to go through this stage as you did yourself.You have to experience it to come to the conclusion that meaningless sex is just that.If you hadn't you wouldn't have grown. you can tell a young man that there is more to life than sex but you have to have been there to understand.you evolve as you get older.

Look at the cultures that have suppressed women and sex.When women have no power they are treated like animals and the men are angry and repressed because they have no outlet for their sex drive and take it out on women.If women have to much power then men become weak and are undermined.
There is a happy medium somewhere.When both compliment each other there is a much better society. look at the priesthood regarding sexual repression.It turns into a very ugly thing, like sexual abuse of children,and physical abuse and torture or in prisons the same things occurr.Men become like wild animals..There is no point in demeaning women by saying they are unattractive like worms.You lose your credibility by doing such a thing.Don't attack women because of men's lust. The church did exactly that by making the women into souless animals and labeled them carnal soulless animals because of their lust for women. Its called projection..


I agree with many of your points in various articles but I have to say you are way off track with this..

----

Anne,

I agree that I had to get the experience to grow out of it, but it might have helped if I wasn't given the false assumptions in the first place. Women and sex can have a respected place without being put on a pedestal or made into a religion.

henry


Martin said (July 16, 2009):

Just read your latest posting on Rense. "Sex & Romance: Detours on the Road of Life". Food for thought as always.
This caught my attention "School children in the UK are now learning that an an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away!"
I live in the UK, about 10 years ago, I switched on the TV (something I seldom do).
It was in the afternoon and there was a schools program on.
Lots of 13 -14 year old girls were doing something, so I stopped to watch what they were doing.
I soon realised that this was a sex education program and the girls were being shown how to put a condom on an artificial penis!

I bet those same girls would not have the faintest idea how to prepare a nutricous meal for 2
(I dont here refer to supermarket ready meals) but they will sure know how to put on a condom.
You article has demonstrated how the situation is getting progressively worse
in that now that they know how to put a condom on a penis they are now encouraged to have an orgasm each day.

Who in their right mind would want to be married to such women who have received such a so-called education?


Pierre said (July 16, 2009):

I confess I am finding your position a little paradoxical.

You correctly state that a man's natural inclination is towards non-monogamous behaviour in order to fulfill the reproductive imperative of the species. But then, as a man of faith, you are implying this is not a good thing, that it corrupts the family unit, that it is not what God intended for us, and leaves us open to social manipulation by the power elite.

In other words, you are saying the natural scheme of things runs contrary to the divine scheme. God wants us to be monogamous yet he has imbued us with a natural bent for something else. In my estimation, this conception of God is a cruel one. He encourages one set of behaviours while demanding another. How perfectly torturous for His children.

It is no good arguing as you may that God wants us to exercise our sexuality within the bond of marriage. As a much married man you know better than anyone else that one gets sick of repetitively trying to fertilize the same female over and over again. Biologically, we are prompted to move on after a while. And these promptings are entirely natural, as you admit.

I am in full agreement with you that human beings should not be sidetracked from important achievements in life by something as mundane has the mammalian drive to reproduce. Yet I disagree with your formula for this. The way to successful living is to harmonize with the natural world, and not impose limitations and restrictions on the expression of natural behaviour. It is patently obvious to me (and should be to everyone else) that the stereotype of the one couple, monogomous, child-rearing unit is archaic and dysfunctional as it controverts the natural tendencies of the species.

No amount of programming by the religious/fundamentalist/evangelical orthodoxy is sufficient to overcome these forces of nature. Governor Sanford is a prime example. Here is a man with a profound faith, a loving wife, four happy and healthy kids, a successful career, and a firm belief in conservative family values. Yet, he is unable to ignore the promptings of his hardwired biology. In the process, he is condemned and stigmatized by his fellow bible-believing conservatives, most of whom have either followed his example in secret or wish they had.

What we need is a new conception of family, a new social model that goes with the flow of the way God has designed us. As things stand at the moment, we are trapped in a perpetual state of cognitive dissonance, in believing that God and Nature are at odds with one another. It is precisely because of this dissonance that the power elite have been able to step into the vacuum and exploit us. As you correctly assert, societal programming encourages the species to obsess with what is an entirely natural mammalian function. Sex should occupy a place in our lives that is on a par with other mammalian necessities such as eating and defecating. But it does not. It is elevated by propaganda - both religious (don't do it) and secular (do it often) - and serves as a constant distraction from the higher callings of life.

The key to removing this obsession is to acknowledge the inadequacy of the monogamous family stereotype, acknowledge that God is not some kind of cruel idiot who designs things poorly, and get on track with a program that works in step with the Wisdom of Nature. What such a program might be is the subject of a whole new discussion. But it must be addressed before society implodes.

---

Pierre,

Thanks for your articulate and provocative response. I think you overestimate the difference between good women: they are cut from the same excellent tree. My preference is to marry and have a family and move on to other pursuits, not abandon my devoted partner and repeat myself like a stuck record.


Anne said (July 16, 2009):

Did it occur to you that it is necessary for a man to go through this stage as you did yourself.You have to experience it to come to the conclusion that meaningless sex is just that.If you hadn't you wouldn't have grown. you can tell a young man that there is more to life than sex but you have to have been there to understand.you evolve as you get older.

Look at the cultures that have suppressed women and sex.When women have no power they are treated like animals and the men are angry and repressed because they have no outlet for their sex drive and take it out on women.If women have to much power then men become weak and are undermined.
There is a happy medium somewhere.When both compliment each other there is a much better society. look at the priesthood regarding sexual repression.It turns into a very ugly thing, like sexual abuse of children,and physical abuse and torture or in prisons the same things occurr.Men become like wild animals..There is no point in demeaning women by saying they are unattractive like worms.You lose your credibility by doing such a thing.Don't attack women because of men's lust.The church did exactly that by making the women into souless animals and labeled them carnal soulless animals because of their lust for women.Its called projection..


I agree with many of your points in various articles but I have to say you are way of track with this..


Ken said (July 16, 2009):

Your latest piece on human sexuality leaves a lot to be desired. I simply cannot believe that you cannot see the difference between your ability to wax philosophical about the vanity of sexual endeavor, and a young man whose raging hormones direct him to finding a sexual outlet. This is like a fat man telling a starving skinny wretch that he is unnecessarily obsessed with food. The idea of suppressing the sex drive just digs a deeper hole healthwise, both mentally and physically. While your advice on choosing a mate may be sound, the idea of just ignoring the sex drive until maturity and economic secuirty are accomplished is simply unrealistic, and I am quite surprised to see you taking such a Victorian line. Nature got the last laugh on the Victorians (syphilis was rampant), and will on those who follow your advice to build an asexual paradise. It seems to me that if we learned anything from the era of sex negativity it was that we must come to grips with the fact that we are, at least in our youth, sexual beings, and we deny this at our peril. A more practical approach is to assure that the perquisites of family life are accessible to adolescents so that puberty and family life can go hand in hand.

--

Thanks for this Ken,

There are a lot of young men who manage their sex drives, and I would encourage young people to marry when they have found the right partner.

henry


Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at