One Woman's Answer to Sexual Chaos
December 21, 2011
Young women must demand courtship and commitment as a condition for sex, says 28-year-old Anna Freeman from the UK.
by Anna Freeman
LONDON -- Recently, a friend looked at me in horror when I mentioned that mutual acquaintances had had a baby.
"They've had a baby?" She repeated hoarsely. "I can't believe it..."
I was puzzled. "Why not? They're married, they're nearly thirty - what's the problem?"
"Well," She replied, distaste etched across her face. "I just thought they were more intelligent than that!"
Welcome to the 21st century feminist dystopia - where having a baby provokes horror and a family is considered stupidity.
Educated British women in their twenties and thirties by and large consider children and family to be an antiquated disease caused by ignorance, poverty and lack of birth control.
And why must intelligent women avoid this unspeakable illness at all costs?
So they can continue to have 'fun', of course. 'Fun' has become the single last bastion, the irreproachable emblem, of modern life.
All other values, all indicators of a civilized, sane society, are sacrificed and forgotten, considered 'boring' - whilst 'fun' rules with a ruthless and unchallenged supremacy.
'Fun', is a euphemism for sexual licentiousness; a term that's taking on ever more onerous and Orwellian forms, as sexuality becomes an indefinable darkness, where everybody can do everything with everyone, with no commitment or consequence (or often, conversation) required.
Most women under 30 now consider themselves 'bisexual', priding themselves on eradicating the distinction between friends and lovers, whilst self-proclaimed gay men spend nights out kissing and groping their female friends, because it's ironic and 'fun'.
Straight men know they can go out and sleep with countless women and need never contact them again, as it's all just cool and no biggie and 'fun'.
But there's a bit of a problem with all this fun - nobody is actually having any. Underneath the hyperbole, behind the Facebook photos, is an unadorned and ugly truth - that this is a shattered generation of wretched people.
Every one is suffering the unremitting horror of being forced to twist their humanity into something else - something manufactured, programmed, and much less than human.
A PERSONAL RESPONSE
I should have fitted into the engineered insanity perfectly, my background should have made me a poster-girl for it - with dad an atheist liberal and mum a feisty feminist. My parents were divorced before I even knew how to spell it. I grew up with all the usual messages about the sexes - that men are inferior, marriage is monstrous, and fish don't ride bicycles - but nevertheless, harbored all the same romantic fantasies and bashful modesty around boys that 13-year-old girls everywhere always have.
Teenage girls start off worshiping boys, finding everything about them infinitely fascinating and amazing (just look in any teen magazine - the level of personal detail included on each boyband member would shame the CIA).
Far from the fashionable media images of the emasculated male salivating after the empowered female, the reality is the opposite - girls are shy and awe-struck around boys. They admire and adore them. And the knight in shining armour fantasy is still very much a reality for them.
So the dating scene, when they finally enter it, can come as a rude awakening.
It certainly did for me. The casual ambiguity of it all, the lack of rules or restraint, the almost feral behaviour, left me stunned and bewildered. I went through the motions, I did what I thought I was supposed to - but ended up increasingly confused, hurt, and angry, as relationships faltered and fell apart, with no real explanation.
The men were damaged and dysfunctional in all the usual modern ways, so the last thing I could envisage was creating any kind of family with them - even if I could guarantee they'd stick around. [And no-one is more ardent an advocate of parents staying together than those whose parents didn't.]
I looked at my friends, and saw their personal lives were in equal, or worse, states of disrepair. I watched as female friends struggled through endless emotional breakdowns, desperate dashes for the morning after pill, and of course the inevitable abortions.
I looked on as the males treated women as interchangeable, just tottering arm ornaments for a good night out.
I eventually decided, this was not for me anymore. So, at age 27, I simply opted out - no relationships, no 'dating', no men in anything other than a platonic capacity. I've always liked men, and they make great friends - but, without radical social transformation, I couldn't see them doing much else.
More and more people are coming to this conclusion - that the opposite sex just isn't worth the hassle. It's easier, simpler, saner, to just be on your own.
The fact that people feel like this is a stunning indictment of just how sick our society has become. Human beings are not designed for isolation or individualism - they're designed for strong, meaningful relationships; for mutual commitment, marriage and children.
But the only way to restore these things is to restore the standards of modesty, decency and respect that used to promote them. And this can only happen if women insist that no commitment and no love, equals no sex.
Women believe they can't insist on these standards anymore, because, if they do, men will simply pass them over for others who are 'easier' - which is exactly why women need to join together: to support each other in having the strength to maintain dignity and standards in the face of all the modern pressures and perversity. In the end, it's these women men really respect and will commit to.
It's what most men want too. Men might seem to enjoy the casual sex culture, but it merely plays to their baser instincts. It doesn't fulfill them as thinking, feeling, human beings. Men just as enslaved and oppressed as women.
It is women who have the key to restoring real values and restructuring society into one founded on decency and respect, by refusing to collaborate in their own destruction.
This is possible, it really could happen - if only the true female pioneers would step forward and say it's what they want. At the moment, it seems they're too jaded, too embarrassed, or simply too intimidated by the might of the mass media, to speak up. I hope they find a voice soon. Perhaps this is a start.