Man Who Resisted Homosexuality Asks for Compassion

July 3, 2012

jesus.jpg
(left. Jesus curing the lame man.)

"Calling a person a pervert does nothing
to help someone who is homosexual or
who struggles with homosexual feelings.
"





by Ted
(henrymakow.com)

(This a response to some of the comments Al Thompson made regarding the guest article, "Pedophiles Demand Social Acceptance Gays Got .")


I am a 49-year-old man who has struggled with homosexual feelings for nearly all my life.

However, in spite of this, I have been married twice, divorced twice and have three sons by my first wife. I haven't engaged in a homosexual act in more than thirty years.

My homosexual feelings played a role in the demise of my first marriage. Even though I loved my wife, I got married because I felt that it was the only way to separate from my mother without her going crazy on me.

She was the first girl I ever dated and I didn't even kiss her until three weeks before our wedding. Later, I am sure she suspected something was wrong because of the way I dressed and because of my addiction to pornography. I am certain that this caused a lot of insecurity and suspicion which in turn created a level of distrust.

With my second wife, I told her of my homosexual struggle before getting married thinking she would support me in my efforts to be free. This turned out to be a big mistake. I'm not a professional but I am pretty sure she suffers with Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD's are absolutely unbearable to live with.

They're wonderfully sweet at first but then all hell breaks loose. She accused me of having flings with my male friends and griped at me whenever I looked at or talked with anyone else accusing me of "trying to impress them." She was the catalyst that prompted me to seek counseling from the pastor of my church.

I agree that homosexuality is not an inborn trait but is rather a mental disorder which is caused by an over-mothering or domineering mother and a physically or emotionally absent father. Because of this, a never-sated father hunger within our souls somehow developed into homosexual feelings.

We did not choose to have homosexual feelings and I can't think of one person who would.

By no fault of our own we struggle with our personal and sexual identity.

We have lived a life of terrible and profound confusion and are often driven into all sorts of desperation trying to figure out who we are and how we fit into society.

It took several years of counseling with the pastor of my church. And like it or not homosexuality is just one small facet of my identity, which I have come to accept.



Calling a person a pervert does nothing to help someone who is homosexual or who struggles with homosexual feelings. I can speak from personal experience of the untold hurt and rejection this kind of talk causes.

For me, rejection was the worst thing that could happen to me. When I was younger, I would have rather been horsewhipped than be rejected. The pain of a beating would be only temporary but feelings of rejection would last a lifetime.

To be called a pervert or a fag or any other derogatory name cuts deeply and will only push a person further into their mental illness.

Homosexual men need to be accepted as men by heterosexual men in order for us to become and feel more manly ourselves (because we weren't taught how) which will ease some of our homosexual feelings.

This is one reason why all my friends are heterosexual; they unknowingly help me be a man. 

I'm not sure how Al Thompson is able to link fornication with homosexuality and then to pedophilia.

Granted all those "sins" violate the body and can create victims but just because a person is homosexual does not mean he will abuse children.

That is quite a stretch. Would be any different if he were to connect male heterosexuality with the molestation of young girls?
 
Sometimes these scenarios are true but we clearly know that this is the exception and not the rule. The vast majority of men, gay or straight, do not molest children; only the psychotic few do such things and a some of those seemed to have worked themselves into positions of power and influence.

I was never molested by an adult male but I am drawn mainly to big, strong, hairy men; not children. As a child I was physically, verbally and mentally abused by my mother so, I surmise that my particular attraction is probably due to a subconscious desire that a "superman" would save me because my weak father wouldn't.
 
To see or read about a child who is abused in any way nearly sends me into a PTSD episode...then it makes me angry. I can't and won't watch movies or television programs which I know will depict any form of child abuse.
 
Also, Mr. Thompson lumps all government workers and religious people into the same category of child molesters. There are many fine and decent people who work for the government and religious institutions; none of whom have molested a child nor promoted such an evil thing. But their voices are being heard less and less because of systemic corruption.

I believe I understand what Mr. Thompson is trying to convey but I encourage him to take it easy on those of us who struggle with homosexuality.

I'm not saying that he has to approve or embrace it but rather be understanding and empathetic with our plight. That being said, the radical homosexual agenda should be challenged wherever and whenever possible because it destroys people, families and societie
s.


---

Al Thompson Replies

Related - Wasn't Born Gay, Didn't Choose It

http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/courses/door-of-hope/

http://narth.com/

http://www.truthwinsout.org/narth/


First Comment from Jessica:

As the spurned wife of a man who lives two lives, I can attest to the fact that his sexual abuse by an uncle at a tender age has caused severe damage that did not surface until midlife. His mother was known to physically assault her children, who strangely has no recollection of the abuse she inflicted. Obvious denial, if you ask me. The father was never there for his sons.
 
The uncle was the brother of the father...and all in the small town knew that the uncle "liked little boys"...how sad that everyone in the family played 'stupid' and pretended as though they never were aware of the man's inclinations...as a matter of fact, the man was known in the local homosexual community for decades!  The man was a sodomite and the family protected him! Little boys knew to stay away from him on the street.
 
I think its obvious that sexual sins are usually generational sins/curses. And this must go back for decades, because the perversion can be felt among them. In the little I knew of them, I knew too much...the idolizing of little girls, the perverted language of adults, the open talk of adultery and lust...and I felt my husband was the diamond that was so unlike his own family....but in time, the roots of his upbringing and the secrets underground were forced up by the living waters of the spirit of God....
 
I was paralyzed by the decision my husband made to turn from God , His truth and from me. His mind was befuddled and confused, and the right road appeared to be too difficult a decision for him...it was much easier for him to blame everyone else and look towards himself as the only victim.
 
These behaviors of lust and coveting really affects the mind and it is easy to see how these people can learn to "call good, evil; and evil good". What I do know is that these individuals seem to have no conscience when it comes to victimizing others, whether it is to satisfy their lusts or to reflect their own guilt and shame onto someone else.  They cannot be honest with others because they cannot be honest with themselves.
 
Many have Peter Pan syndrome, meaning that inside they never fully mature. And they do all they can to hold tightly onto their youth.
 
This spiritual condition is referred to in scripture in various words in passages, but it all comes down to making the self a god. These people cannot deny themselves...they feel entitled.
They are hurt for life, and they often mask it for as long as possible, creating more damage to themselves, and others along the way through deception.
 
Once the deception is uncovered, and the person attempts to lessen the severity of his./her sins by pointing fingers, the person becomes blatantly proud of his/her choices.Their attitude towards God becomes cold and their heart hardens against what they know deep inside to be right.
 
It is so painful to watch another destruct, and ruin others, and then rebuild a facade around their smoldering ruins of their life, again able to hide their sins by their mature and philosophical demeanor.

And pedophiles and perverts always have an obscure and oftentimes 'new age' philosophy, which is as old as the serpent himself....again, self deception caused by rejecting the one true Creator of heaven and earth and all things therein....

What a sad testimony to the world that their open destruction of social norms, meaning purity, virtue, and moral character, has been the "pied piper" in our media, schools, workplace, and homes. The force of the sodomite movement cannot be understated....remember the sodomites in the OT? They were full of vile, force and anger....demonized....and perverted....
 
It's truly a dangerous world...and my heart goes out to all parents who are following God and fighting the good fight to protect their children from the evils of this society ruled (for now) by satan....
 








Comments for " Man Who Resisted Homosexuality Asks for Compassion "

Stephen said (July 4, 2012):

A real Christian will have compassion for Ted's plight. Many Christians I know are among some of the most bigoted and judgmental people on this planet. Even Jesus taught "Judge not, lest ye be judged" and it seems to go right over their heads.

Personally I have a gay friend. I don't approve of his past activities, as they have only brought him and loved ones pain and unhappiness. However he is an honest man and nonjudgmental and I have never heard anything contrary.

However, I know flag waving Christians that are thieves, holier-than-thous that cheat on their spouses and constantly emotionally abuse their children. Whenever I hear: "trust me, I'm Christian," watch out, I'm about to get screwed.

People with inappropriate sexual attractions often say they want help and when it is offered, even for free, they run to the hills. In addition most therapists fail at helping those that don't run because they don't know how to work with these issues. If you don't see good positive change within 4 sessions, better look for another therapist.

Frankly I don't see a self righteous Christian any better than a militant homosexual. Both are militant and both are wrong and quite miserable people. In fact the highest percentage of abuse victims of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are the wives and families of fundamentalist preachers.


Marcos said (July 4, 2012):

Great article, very insightful. Every man struggles with temptation, gay or not. It is is our responsibility to treat all with respect.
Unfortunately, the gay activists are completely against any kind of treatment or help for those gays who want to overcome their gay feelings and live a hetero life.
Here in Brazil Marisa Lobo, a christian psychologist, is under attack by the National Association of Psychology because she treats gays with a good rate of success. She may lose her license, and was told to delete all references to her faith in her social media. The gay Congressman Jean Willys said her opinions should not be considered because (!) she is religious. There is also a project for a law (PLC122) which goes further: it may put in jail those who disagree with gay behavior, even philosophically. Even suggesting to a person that he might change could result in three years behind bars.


Victoria said (July 3, 2012):

Having 'been there' but, as a female, might I suggest to Ted that one person he should have compassion for is his mother who represents his feminine side at its deepest level. My father got all the blame for being a 'looney' and he, too, was angry, abusive and aggressive. My passive mother, meanwhile, flew under the radar as the family 'saint' and 'rock'. Not once did I see her get angry with my father even for herself, never mind on behalf of me, her daughter for she had closed her heart to him. I learned from various experiences that I, too, had closed my heart to my father (perhaps a case of 'monkey-see, monkey-do') and that, in being attracted to women, I was actually looking for the mother that I felt I had never had.

Unfortunately, I married a man who was so much the opposite of my father that, like my mother, no matter what the provocation, he would never get angry or fight back. So, having two sons (and one daughter who seems to be pretty well balanced), they are now in the position that I was formerly in - one, 'homosexual' and the other, seemingly, asexual. Their father wishes to take no emotional responsibility for his sons, preferring to see himself as their elder brother. So, I got all the blame for being a 'bitch' (and, yes, he allowed his sons to call me by that name among others) and he is still seen as 'good, old daddy'.

Frankly, it's about time men started setting examples for their younger brethren and finding the self-respect to stand up for themselves just as women have had to do. It wasn't easy for me, either, but I did what had to be done because I cared enough about my daughter to want her to have a better time of it than I had had. I now think that homosexuality is the result of a same-sex parent who refuses to defend themselves, no matter what the provocation from their spouse. Any man who was able to impregnate a woman is capable of getting her to submit to him because he has already done it at least once or there wouldn't have been a pregnancy. Getting to play the put-upon victim, though, is pretty strong incentive for people who gain their sense of power from being negative and withholding.


Don said (July 3, 2012):

Dear Ted - Thank you for writing regarding your struggle with the soul poison of homosexuality while does indeed occur because of the breakdown of the family unit. While I can appreciate your personal distress I must strongly disagree with your perspective and ask that you consider the " bigger picture." Our nation is currently under attack by the Homosexual/Sodomy Movement which I describe at CandleCrusade.org. While you personally may be totally against attacking children the objective of the Homosexual/Sodomy Movement is the complete and utter destruction of generations of children to come by their deliberate indoctrination into homosexuality. This will occur via their mental and emotional molestation by homosexuality which will be followed by their physical molestation. The end result will be the complete shattering of our cultural and social foundations with the subsequent collapse of our nation as a whole.

A psychotic and soul shattered populace has no hope of continuance in any functional manner of the slightest degree. To accomplish their Social Engineering victory over our nation the Homosexual/Sodomy Movement is leaving absolutely no stone unturned inclusive of " Pride Parades " which are dedicated to annihilating the automatic shame within normal/whole people which they have at even considering, much less doing, homosexual acts to teaching public school children that homosexuality is normal, natural, and something which they should do.

Such a massive war machine attack upon the children of our nation can only be stopped by declaring the brutal, if painful, truth - homosexuality IS perversion and those afflicted by it ARE perverts. Singular persons afflicted by homosexuality and reinforced in their soul sickness by the Homosexual/Sodomy Movement juggernaut can only " wake-up " when the bitter truth of their perversion and sickness slaps them in the face via the declaration of those who truly love them and are willing to stand in the gap against this monstrous attack upon humanity.

Otherwise both they and our nation are lulled to sleep by the soul poison of sugary platitudes dedicated to keeping them soul dead. Sugar coating the truth and hemming and hawing about it only give the Homosexual/Sodomy Movement more opportunity for their ultimate victory of death over life. May God bless you and heal you in your recovery but for the sake of countless generations to come and humanity as a whole we MUST tell the bitter and whole truth - homosexuality is ALWAYS perversion and those afflicted by it are indeed perverts. Only with this realization can the Grace of God cleanse, heal, and save both the infected singular pervert and our nation as a whole.

Don J. Grundmann, D.C., M.H., C.C.S.P., C.C.E.P., FICPA

--

Reply from Ted

This is a response to Don:

I agree that the radical homosexual agenda needs to be confronted because it is indeed destroying individuals and society. I said as much in the last line of my article. But calling a gay man or woman a pervert offers no meaningful discourse or discussion and will not help a person in any way leave his/her homosexual lifestyle.

I visited your site and found it interesting that you used the word pervert in various forms no less than eight times on your homepage. Also, the picture of the two young boys kissing is very disturbing and it makes me wonder why you would post such a thing.

At the age of 38 I was at a crossroads in my life. My homosexual desires were relentless in tormenting me. I was miserable because there was a war raging within my soul between what I knew was right with what I felt. Because I thought that I didn't have any choice I was preparing my mind to live as a gay man. But through a series of events I came across an online ministry called Setting Captives Free. They offered the first ray of hope that I could be freed from homosexuality.

SCF treated me in the same loving and compassionate way that Jesus treated the woman at the well and the woman who was caught in adultery. If they had a "God hates fags", "You're a pervert" approach I can guarantee you that I wouldn't have stuck around for very long. Yes, they addressed the sin in my life but it was with grace and mercy. Because of them I have chosen to not be gay.

I admire the passion you have for standing against evil and encourage you to continue challenging the extremist homosexual agenda. But if your goal is to lead men and women out of homosexuality, you need a different tact. Calling them names will not make any converts.


Don said (July 3, 2012):


Dear Ted - Thank you for writing regarding your struggle with the soul poison of homosexuality while does indeed occur because of the breakdown of the family unit. While I can appreciate your personal distress I must strongly disagree with your perspective and ask that you consider the " bigger picture."

Our nation is currently under attack by the Homosexual/Sodomy Movement which I describe at CandleCrusade.org. While you personally may be totally against attacking children the objective of the Homosexual/Sodomy Movement is the complete and utter destruction of generations of children to come by their deliberate indoctrination into homosexuality. This will occur via their mental and emotional molestation by homosexuality which will be followed by their physical molestation. The end result will be the complete shattering of our cultural and social foundations with the subsequent collapse of our nation as a whole. A psychotic and soul shattered populace has no hope of continuance in any functional manner of the slightest degree. To accomplish their Social Engineering victory over our nation the Homosexual/Sodomy Movement is leaving absolutely no stone unturned inclusive of " Pride Parades " which are dedicated to annihilating the automatic shame within normal/whole people which they have at even considering, much less doing, homosexual acts to teaching public school children that homosexuality is normal, natural, and something which they should do. Such a massive war machine attack upon the children of our nation can only be stopped by declaring the brutal, if painful, truth - homosexuality IS perversion and those afflicted by it ARE perverts. Singular persons afflicted by homosexuality and reenforced in their soul sickness by the Homosexual/Sodomy Movement juggernaut can only " wake-up " when the bitter truth of their perversion and sickness slaps them in the face via the declaration of those who truly love them and are willing to stand in the gap against this monstrous attack upon humanity. Otherwise both they and our nation are lulled to sleep by the soul poison of sugary platitudes dedicated to keeping them soul dead. Sugar coating the truth and hemming and hawing about it only give the Homosexual/Sodomy Movement more opportunity for their ultimate victory of death over life. May God bless you and heal you in your recovery but for the sake of countless generations to come and humanity as a whole we MUST tell the bitter and whole truth - homosexuality is ALWAYS perversion and those afflicted by it are indeed perverts. Only with this realization can the Grace of God cleanse, heal, and save both the infected singular pervert and our nation as a whole.

Don J. Grundmann, D.C., M.H., C.C.S.P., C.C.E.P., FICPA


Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at