Man Who Resisted Homosexuality Asks for Compassion
July 3, 2012
(left. Jesus curing the lame man.)
"Calling a person a pervert does nothing
to help someone who is homosexual or
who struggles with homosexual feelings."
(This a response to some of the comments Al Thompson made regarding the guest article, "Pedophiles Demand Social Acceptance Gays Got .")
I am a 49-year-old man who has struggled with homosexual feelings for nearly all my life.
However, in spite of this, I have been married twice, divorced twice and have three sons by my first wife. I haven't engaged in a homosexual act in more than thirty years.
My homosexual feelings played a role in the demise of my first marriage. Even though I loved my wife, I got married because I felt that it was the only way to separate from my mother without her going crazy on me.
She was the first girl I ever dated and I didn't even kiss her until three weeks before our wedding. Later, I am sure she suspected something was wrong because of the way I dressed and because of my addiction to pornography. I am certain that this caused a lot of insecurity and suspicion which in turn created a level of distrust.
With my second wife, I told her of my homosexual struggle before getting married thinking she would support me in my efforts to be free. This turned out to be a big mistake. I'm not a professional but I am pretty sure she suffers with Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD's are absolutely unbearable to live with.
They're wonderfully sweet at first but then all hell breaks loose. She accused me of having flings with my male friends and griped at me whenever I looked at or talked with anyone else accusing me of "trying to impress them." She was the catalyst that prompted me to seek counseling from the pastor of my church.
I agree that homosexuality is not an inborn trait but is rather a mental disorder which is caused by an over-mothering or domineering mother and a physically or emotionally absent father. Because of this, a never-sated father hunger within our souls somehow developed into homosexual feelings.
We did not choose to have homosexual feelings and I can't think of one person who would.
By no fault of our own we struggle with our personal and sexual identity.
We have lived a life of terrible and profound confusion and are often driven into all sorts of desperation trying to figure out who we are and how we fit into society.
It took several years of counseling with the pastor of my church. And like it or not homosexuality is just one small facet of my identity, which I have come to accept.
Calling a person a pervert does nothing to help someone who is homosexual or who struggles with homosexual feelings. I can speak from personal experience of the untold hurt and rejection this kind of talk causes.
For me, rejection was the worst thing that could happen to me. When I was younger, I would have rather been horsewhipped than be rejected. The pain of a beating would be only temporary but feelings of rejection would last a lifetime.
To be called a pervert or a fag or any other derogatory name cuts deeply and will only push a person further into their mental illness.
Homosexual men need to be accepted as men by heterosexual men in order for us to become and feel more manly ourselves (because we weren't taught how) which will ease some of our homosexual feelings.
This is one reason why all my friends are heterosexual; they unknowingly help me be a man. I'm not sure how Al Thompson is able to link fornication with homosexuality and then to pedophilia.
Granted all those "sins" violate the body and can create victims but just because a person is homosexual does not mean he will abuse children.
That is quite a stretch. Would be any different if he were to connect male heterosexuality with the molestation of young girls?
Sometimes these scenarios are true but we clearly know that this is the exception and not the rule. The vast majority of men, gay or straight, do not molest children; only the psychotic few do such things and a some of those seemed to have worked themselves into positions of power and influence.
I was never molested by an adult male but I am drawn mainly to big, strong, hairy men; not children. As a child I was physically, verbally and mentally abused by my mother so, I surmise that my particular attraction is probably due to a subconscious desire that a "superman" would save me because my weak father wouldn't.
To see or read about a child who is abused in any way nearly sends me into a PTSD episode...then it makes me angry. I can't and won't watch movies or television programs which I know will depict any form of child abuse.
Also, Mr. Thompson lumps all government workers and religious people into the same category of child molesters. There are many fine and decent people who work for the government and religious institutions; none of whom have molested a child nor promoted such an evil thing. But their voices are being heard less and less because of systemic corruption.
I believe I understand what Mr. Thompson is trying to convey but I encourage him to take it easy on those of us who struggle with homosexuality.
I'm not saying that he has to approve or embrace it but rather be understanding and empathetic with our plight. That being said, the radical homosexual agenda should be challenged wherever and whenever possible because it destroys people, families and societies.
Al Thompson Replies
Related - Wasn't Born Gay, Didn't Choose It
First Comment from Jessica: