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What is Feminine?

October 1, 2017


"A feminine woman has the effect of a sunrise on a man's soul."

This article was originally written 17 years ago but it could have been a hundred.

The war on gender has degraded male-female relations in a short time. Nevertheless, human nature remains the same. Femininity must be defended, not abandoned.

"Men have abandoned the many gentle and loving women who instinctively want to build their lives around a man. We have pursued the busy, neurotic, overachievers who guarantee us heartbreak, divorce and broken family."

Men Must Champion Feminine Women

(from July 2015)

by Henry Makow Ph.D.

"A feminine woman has the effect of a sunrise on a man's soul." 
In the words of novelist Alex Waugh, she draws a man "into a magic circle where everything is fresher, cleaner; where there is peace, warmth, comfort. She produces in him the desire to be his best."

Nothing on earth is so fine. On this continent, nothing is so rare.

The Official Communist Gender Ideology, feminism, has decreed that femininity is a "stereotype" invented by men to oppress women.

Feminism is not about equal opportunity for women. It is a thuggish, devious synthesis of Marxism and lesbianism used by ruling elites to undermine individuals and reengineer society. It is to society what AIDS is to the body.

But men are also to blame. We have accepted the feminist lie that women should be independent and pursue careers. We have abandoned the many gentle and loving women who instinctively want to build their lives around a man. We have pursued the busy, neurotic, overachievers who guarantee us heartbreak, divorce and broken family.

By pursuing these women, we are really seeking our own lost masculinity. Many of us are happy to evade the responsibility of earning a living, and taking charge of a family. In either case we are condemning ourselves to frustration and arrested development.

For heterosexuals to find fulfillment, each sex must assume its instinctive part. The sex act is a metaphor: The man's spirit pervades the female and they become one. The male spirit must be active and the female receptive.

Many men ignore willing, feminine women who can provide Wholeness. These women cannot thrive, we cannot thrive, unless we recognize, defend and love them.


  1. A feminine woman is motivated by love of husband and children. She is the heart of the family, devoted to her husband and children's well being. This is her career. A woman who is preoccupied with another demanding career cannot pay attention to her family. Love is mainly paying attention. There is a New Yorker cartoon where a child is wearing a welder's mask and using a blowtorch to write, "I need love" on the living room wall. His mother says to her friend: "He's just doing that to get attention."
  2. A feminine woman may have another career but it is her second priority. She is not driven by personal ambition. I liked the movie "Legally Blonde" because the heroine showed that she could excel in the work world but why bother? She had a more important goal: a husband and family.

    Career is a feminist lie. Since when are careers the source of human fulfillment? What is so great about being an Assistant Loan Manager at a bank? Is society expected to provide legions of eager feminists with "fulfilling" careers to compensate for their loveless lives?

  3. Feminists are teaching women to be "strong and independent." This is not feminine. Men respond to a woman's need. We want to rescue the damsel in distress and to win her favors. This archetype is also innate in women. She wants to be enlisted by a man.

    A feminine woman DEPENDS on a man. This doesn't mean she is an emotional waif. She is competent but she doesn't pretend to be independent. Men and women need each other to be whole. As long as I have my wife, I am self-sufficient. So is she.

  4. Just as the woman is the heart of the family, the man is the head and shoulders. A feminine woman is her husband's partner. They make decisions together but he has the last word. Men must be the visionaries, captains and navigators. A woman's most important decision is the man she chooses to love and marry.

  5. A feminine woman is modest. She wants a man to pay attention to "her" so she doesn't flaunt her sexuality. A woman wants to be loved more than anything in the world. She wants to be "known" in all her divinity. This happens when she is truly loved. Is it a coincidence the Bible uses the word "know" as in Abraham "knew" Sarah, to speak of sexual intercourse? All women are beautiful when they are loved. Women's liberation has taught women to pursue sex for its own sake, as though they were men. This is not feminine. If a man prefers a new car, why would he marry a "used" woman? He doesn't want a car that's been driven by a lot of men. He doesn't know where it's been, what damage has been done. He will choose a brand new car. In my wife's words: "A man wants to be a woman's first lover; a woman wants to be his last."
  6. I'm not saying all women should save their virginity until marriage but certainly sex should be reserved for honest, loving long term relationships. Men need to stop looking for sex and start looking for the right woman. That's the only guarantee of sex anyway.

    If men chose wives with the same attention as cars, more marriages would succeed. Women are the vehicles to the future, in terms of emotional fulfillment and family. If men knew where they wanted to go, they would choose women who would get them there. They would not be blinded by sex.

  7. A feminine woman tries to please the man she loves. No, this has not been outlawed, it just seems that way. A feminine woman generates love by giving love. She empowers her man by believing in him. Love is expressed in actions and effort. Baking a pie is an act of love. So is making the home beautiful. Are we so blind, impoverished and demoralized that we cannot appreciate this? Why have we allowed feminists to stigmatize homemaking? Women would be more than happy to be homemakers if it received the recognition and appreciation that it deserves.
  8. A feminine woman has grace, beauty and wisdom. These all come from staying in touch with her spirit and not pursuing an exhausting career that requires masculine qualities.


On the "Oprah" Show, I saw three young women interviewed about the "quarter-life" crisis. They were having trouble getting their careers on track and because of their families' expectations, they were falling apart.

Oprah urged these girls to "follow their instincts." No one mentioned that for women in their early twenties, "following their instincts" might entail having a baby. No one is following their instincts any more. They are doing what feminists tell them to do.

It's time men started listening to their instincts too. We want to be the masters of our domain. We want to love and possess ("pay attention," "know") our wives. We want to create families that are loving, lively and happy. It's time we embraced the quiet, unassuming beautiful women who want to be our help mates.


Related- The Dying Art of Femininity 

----------- Men- Seek Help Mates, not Soul Mates 

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "What is Feminine?"

Gift Molokomme from south africa. said (July 24, 2015):

Thanks Mr Henry Makow,your article is an eye opener. I am glad that I have married such a wonderful wife who is very much devoted in rising our kids and taking a good care of me. I am looking forward reading more of your inspiring articles. ‎

Joe Ortiz said (July 24, 2015):

Henry, unfortunately most men do not understand the true meaning of 'femininity"
​and many women themselves have no clue either because they have been conditioned by evolving cultures that almost don't even exist today. When asked about a feminine woman, men picture a lithe blond with golden locks of hair flowing downward, caressing a firm and supple body, looking back at you with come hither smile and flashing radiant eyes.

In reality, a true feminine woman possesses great strength, wisdom and grace; she is industrious, loyal and possesses a nurturing nature that can only be matched by a mother lion.​

Those of us who have read and studied the word, especially the Proverbs, penned by King Solomon, and practiced by many great men in the past, have been blessed by a wife of noble character and most definitely recognize true femininity!

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
(Proverbs 31:30)

​Trust me, there are still many such women out there!

Joe Ortiz, author
The End Times Passover​

Thomas said (July 23, 2015):

I was fortunate enough to marry a truly feminine woman. She met your eight qualities of feminine and got more out of me than I thought was there. Together we built a home and raised a family. Unfortunately, she died too long. Her memorial website is Fortunately, I found another feminine woman to marry.

P said (July 23, 2015):

Men must realize their natural role without ego.
What this looks like: you do the majority of things to support; financially and at home; she to feed you while you make most of it happen. Then you emotionally support her by not being egotistical. Admire her, but don't worship her, wrong thinking. She ought to respect you for your real manhood, you respect her for her support for you. There is a foundation, is simple, and counter-cultural.

Henrique said (July 23, 2015):

Yeah, men pretty much gotta start supporting ( real ) women, instead of "cool, exotic, intelligent ( politically correct )" neurotic/dysfunctional bitches, or the first might simply cease to exist very soon. I wonder about the women that Masons pass around as "dollies" ( carriers of good genes ) among themselves as prizes ( like Jackie Kennedy/Onassis ). I'm sure they wouldn't want for themselves a Lena Dunham or some FEMEN member.

Marco said (July 23, 2015):

God, that was a beautiful article Henry. That was probably the most damning condemnations of feminism I have ever read, and you did it so gently. You didn't attack feminism by exposing its brazen ugliness, but instead by showing the beauty of true femininity and the sadness as to what has been lost. This article would need to be posted on every media outlet in the world, and then things would get better from there.

Diane said (July 22, 2015):

Boy do I wish I read this article 20 years ago, when I was being brainwashed in a university. Luckily, I was able to bear children late in life, but its hard to be an older mom, and you miss out on a lot. To all the women out there, NO JOB can compare to the job of raising kids, its the best job in the world.

Feminism made our society devalue it, but its the most important job in the world. And the hardest. Just wait til your precious little ones start knowing the difference between what is right and wrong, and trusting themselves, and seeing God in things, you and your husband's reward will be greater than a million dollar bonus. Who cares if you have new cars or a fancy home. Feminism nearly ruined my life, at least I was able to have kids.

So many of my college friends cant have kids now, its too late. Fertility starts to decrease drastically at 35, not 40, as many would have us believe. The best time to have kids is in your 20s. Enjoy your young life with your children. I made a mistake, I call my twenties and most of my 30s The Lost Years--lost to some ideal that is not even real.

Laurence said (July 22, 2015):

I have just read your article on Eight Qualities of Feminine Woman and it brought tears to my eyes. I am so grateful for your clarity and insight - it has re-empowered me to believe in my own true beliefs. Thank you.

AH said (July 22, 2015):

Before WWII in general women were structurally dependent on men for livelihood. Nowadays women have many opportunities to generate there own livelihood. This is a change that men should adapt to by being demonstrably unified with the woman, meaning:

Shared finances and transparency.

Few married men do this. These men raise the material above the spiritual and do not consider the woman before themselves. This is a divorce waiting to happen, a fracture that can easily widen. Why should a woman risk being dumped into poverty by an unfaithful husband when, today, she need not do so because independent careers are available? It is for the man to extend a true union - joint accounts and joint ownership.

I understand that the Cabal have arranged laws that will fleece a man of everything he has worked for and more, for "no-fault" reasons. Obviously sharing and transparency are harder in these circumstances, meaning gents, be quadruple sure of your choice before marriage!, but don't marry unless you can share because it is almost guaranteed that you will divorce.

Al Thompson said (July 22, 2015):

I've been wanting to write more on feminism but you cover it fairly well. However, in my opinion, I think fornication is where most of the trouble starts with men and women. Because sex is the first step in the reproduction process, the natural order which God created tells us that children need a mother and a father. So the ideal marriage will be between a man and a woman who are virgins. Men and women need to learn to stay virgins until they are married. The reason is that the social order that God created demands it.

I am seeing more and more young people destroying their lives with fornication. Some of them I know personally and I tell them not to do that. But they did that and now they are all upset because one or the other just wanted the sex and nothing else. . If you really love the other person then man up and marry the woman. The woman shouldn't "give it up" for a man who doesn't want her to be his wife.

I've known women who were obsessed with the idea of a career but they would naturally gravitate towards wanting to have a family. This causes stress because of the conflict of the two ideas.

Most decent men will move heaven and earth for a nice woman. Some men have to learn to grow up and take responsibility or themselves and their families. Feminism almost makes that impossible.

Fornication destroys the dignity of the woman and I suppose this is the whole point of feminism.

KJ said (July 22, 2015):

Here are the words that I built my own life on as a mother, wife and daughter...

"Men are difficult and troublesome creatures, but valuable. The creative care and handling of men is an artful and a beautiful task. Those who would cheat women of their rightful place by making them into men should at last realize that by this action they are destroying not only the women, but the men and the children as well. This is too great a price to pay for being 'modern' or for someone's petty anger or spite against the female sex.
The arts and skills of woman, the creation and inspiration of which she is capable and which, here and there in isolated places in our culture, she still manages to effect in spite of the ruin and decay of man's world which spreads around her, must be brought newly and fully into life. These arts and skills and creation and inspiration are her beauty, just as she is the beauty of Mankind."

page 137, "Science of Survival", 1951, L. Ron Hubbard


Thanks KJ

Inspiring words from a doubtful source.


George said (July 22, 2015):

Your article is a work of art!

Tony said (July 22, 2015):

Henry I am 61 years old…single…divorced….looking for a new “real woman”…but to find one here in the US is a very hard task…I need to look outside the country to find a real woman…( Asia, Eastern Euro and Latinas) …..

Here in the US the brains of the girls has been hijacked by the Joo media…the American girls have been duped into believing they are independent career girls…what a joke it all is….they are independent until it comes to paying for things…lol

The girls here have been bamboozled into believing they need to act like men….that it is uncool to be a woman…so stupid.

Alyce said (May 21, 2009):

I am a 33 year old female mother of 4. I have read a number of your articles on feminism and I think they are beautiful. Your words have affected me deeply and I am grateful for your insight. I think that your website can help my marriage and my children by helping me see things in a different light. I do have a career, I am an RN, but it is purely out of necessity. I only work 2 days a week. At one point in my life I placed a high priority on my work and was very stressed out and unfulfilled.(However this field can be fulfilling when you help sick people). But I have developed a new attitude over the years about working. I work purely for money for my family and myself. I feel less stressed over the things that go on and I do not desire to go very far career wise. I will always maintain my license and my ability to make money but I want to enjoy my life and family first. You are so right about what is happening in our world and I am glad that I have found your website. It will definately have an impact on my children. Which by the way, I have recieved alot of critisism for having so many. But I was just going with my instincts. Thank You for your awesome work! Keep it up.

Anonymous said (May 12, 2009):


I enjoy reading your website. I am a single (never been married) female, never been pregnant, nor hooked on drugs or alcohol, don't think I'm a "square", aged 35, and losing hope...

Do you know any males who believe what you believe, and live it and who aren't married and looking? You should start a dating service to hook us singletons up...


Olivia said (May 12, 2009):

Hello Mister Henry!

I really liked your article concerning men defending feminine women. I read the whole thing and I completely agree with you. When you listed the qualities that make a feminine woman, I thought: "No way, that's totally me!" I identified with that entire list!

Luckily, I didn't grow up when feminism was rabid, but i still see the effects on my Millennial generation. I am the oldest of my kind, born just 2 years after 1980, and I see the damage that has been done to the Xer males before me. They are very angry and bitter, and most are unmarried and hate kids. (I have *thee biggest* crush on this guy who's just turned 40 but he wants nothing to do with having a family.) :-( I also see the emasculation taking place in the boys younger than me. It follows them everywhere and they can't seem to get away from it. TV, school, it's all over the place! Sad, really.

Anyway, my family was an anomaly. My daddy actually stayed married to my mama and helped raise us (shock and awe!) and they loved each other. My mom couldn't stay home because it was fiscally impossible to raise 3 kids on one income, but she wanted to. She told me that if I ever got the chance to stay home and raise my family properly, DO IT!! Everyone would be healthier and happier.

As for finding a man, I would love, Love, LOVE to find a man with 1: morals and 2: a backbone. I'm actively looking to get married and start a family of my very own. I want to get married and have a baby before I'm 30, but it's slim pickins around here. the men today seem to be just as whorish are we are, or just as bitter and vile and crass (sometimes even more should hear what goes on around campus and how the guys talk about the girls here. B*tch this and ho that....NO respect at all). Or they let their gfs do and act however they please and fail to wear the pants in the relationship. It's truly disturbing and saddening at the same time. I'd really like to find a man that is actually a MAN and not an overgrown boy.

you're out there somewhere...all six of you....haha.

I just wish we were in a time where women were cherished and loved and men were the head of the family instead of this "every man for himself, screw everybody else" mentality we have today. :-( This is why you and your articles rock. Maybe they'll knock some sense into everyone.

Randall said (May 11, 2009):

As always it is a pleasure to read your articles. I concur with you that Men must Champion Feminine Women. My question is how do Men do this and minimize their Risk of being horn swaggled in a Divorce? How do Men in the Anglosphere find a suitable Woman who is not infected with latent Feminism? Or as I call it Ala Carte Feminism. Where Women deny they are Feminists yet pick and choose from the benefits of Gender Feminists?

Many Men who marry a Woman who stays at home with Children. Is infected by the media, ala Oprah Winfrey, and other Feminists on TV. Men cannot control Women, and the "Spin Sisters" are always selling Feminism to our Women. The Entitlement mentality has poisoned our culture from Top to Bottom. The Good Feminine Women are quickly grabbed up by Men who recognize a reasonable, realistic and pleasant companion helps us cope with this "Vale of Tears" we call life.

Men and Women complement one another. On Mother's Day I spoke to my 70 something Mother. She conceded our culture and Women are a mess. When Married Women, and Mothers sexually abuse minor Males who are students. The wheels are off in our culture. As a Boy growing up, it was Men who were the irresponsible Sex or Gender. And it was Women who were the Guardians of Morality. They have fully and completely abdicated this role. Now it is up to Men to fill this role. A Gender Role reversal.

My Nephews and Sons report that Young Women are completely devoid of morals and any pretense of Sexual Self control. They believe if they are very sexual and overt in their Female Sexuality this is Feminine. It is in fact Whorish behavior and repellent to Men seeking a Wife or Mate. It is an attempt to over compensate for their loss of Femininity, and they know no way to entice or attract a Man other than acting like a Courtesan. It is very depressing to see how far our Women have fallen.

I have a Nephew who is in his forties. Never married, who sees how the Wives of his Friends are emasculating their Husbands. And how they are in fact running their families. Younger Women have no respect for Men anymore and treat them like a Brother instead of a Husband.


Randy said (May 10, 2009):

Thanks for more helpful articles. I send these out to my friends. I am wondering if you will write an article on obesity and feminism? If you have not noticed there seems to be an effort to make men want women who are overweight. The feminists have wrongly told women that men should not want in-shape and attractive women. Aside from the women working and having careers, they are fat and unattractive. Why would a man choose to be with a fat, mean, non-cooking, and preoccupied woman? I have noticed even on the dating websites that women somehow think that men will prefer fat over trim and in shape? Women have no mercy on men who are overweight, so why are men under attack for expecting women to keep their weight down? It is another way to ruin the family and heterosexuality to teach women that fat is good and men who do not like this are shallow. Somewhere there is a denial that men's desires and needs count.


Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at