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Excuse Me, Gay is Not Good

March 11, 2013

Charles W. Socarides, M.D., (1922-2005) was clinical professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine/Montefiore
Medical Center in New York. Over 40 years, he treated hundreds of gays and helped about 33% return to heterosexuality.

This is the second part of "How America Went Gay" the classic 1995 essay
 by Charles Socarides, the psychiatrist who pioneered the treatment of homosexuality.

Here he explains the root causes of homosexuality which are anything but normal.

[My patients] were caught up in this mysterious compulsion to have sex with other men. They were not free. They were not happy. And they wanted to see if they could change.

Part One is here

by Charles Socarides
(Edited & Abridged by

Excuse me. Gay is not good. Gay is not decidedly free. How do I know this? For more than 40 years, I have been in solidarity with hundreds of homosexuals, my patients, and I have spent most of my professional life engaged in a kind of "pastoral care" on their behalf.

But I do not help them by telling them they are O.K. when they are not O.K.

Nor do I endorse their "new claim to self-definition and self-respect."

gaypride2.jpgTell me: Have we dumped the idea that a man's self-esteem comes from something inside himself (sometimes called character) and from having a good education, a good job and a good family-and replaced that notion with this, that he has an affinity to love (and have sex with) other men?

In point of fact, many of my patients had character; they had an education; they were respected ad men and actuaries and actors. But they were still in pain-for one reason and one reason alone. They were caught up in this mysterious compulsion to have sex with other men. They were not free. They were not happy. And they wanted to see if they could change.

Over the years, I found that those of my patients who really wanted to change could do so, by attaining the insight that comes with a good psychoanalysis. Others found other therapies that helped them get to the bottom of their compulsions, all of which involved high motivation and hard work. Difficult as their therapeutic trips were, hundreds and thousands of homosexuals changed their ways. Many of my own formerly homosexual patients-about a third of them-are married today and happily so, with children. One-third may not sound like a very good average. But it is just about the same success rate you will find at the best treatment centers for alcoholics, like Hazelden in Minnesota and the Betty Ford Clinic in California.

Another third of my patients remain homosexual but not part of the gay scene. Now, after therapy, they still have same-sex sex, but they have more control over their impulses because now they understand the roots of their need for same-sex sex. Some of these are even beginning to turn on to the opposite sex. I add this third to my own success rate-so that I can tell people in all honesty that my batting average is .667 out of more than a thousand "at bats."

Of course, I could bat .997 if I told all my patients in pain that their homosexuality was "a special call" and "a liberation." That would endear me to everyone, but it would not help them. It would be a lie-despite recent pieces of pseudo-science bolstering the fantasy that gays are "born that way."

The media put its immediate blessing on this "research," but we were oversold. Now we are getting reports, even in such gay publications as The Journal of Homosexuality, that the gay-gene studies and the gay-brain studies do not stand up to critical analysis. (The author of one so-called "gay-gene theory" is under investigation by the National Institutes of Health for scientific fraud.)


I was not surprised to hear this. My long clinical experience and a sizable body of psychoanalysis research tell me that most [homosexuals]are reacting, at an unconscious level, to something amiss with their earliest upbringing- over-controlling mothers and abdicating fathers. Through long observation I have also learned that the supposedly liberated homosexual is never really free. In his multiple, same-sex adventures, even the most effeminate gay was looking to incorporate the manhood of others, because he was in a compulsive, never-ending search for the masculinity that was never allowed to build and grow in early childhood...

Once my patients have achieved an insight into these dynamics-and realized there is no moral fault involved in their longtime and mysterious need-they have moved rather quickly on the road to recovery. Their consequent gratitude to me is overwhelming. And why shouldn't it be? They were formerly caught up in compulsions they could not understand, compulsions they could not control. Now they are in charge of their own lives.

Their former promiscuity may have looked a lot like "liberation." But it was not true freedom. It was a kind of slavery. And it was not a lifestyle. With the onset of AIDS, as the playwright and gay militant Larry Kramer said in a 1993 interview, it turned out to be a death style. I have had some patients tell me, "Doctor, if I weren't in therapy, I'd be dead."

[ In addition, child and youth sexual abuse is a major cause of homosexuality. A 1992 study of 1000 homosexuals found that 37% had been abused sexually by an older male. Socarides, Homosexuality: A Freedom Too Far , p. 88)


Testimonials from my recovered patients make me feel my work is worthwhile-despite regular demands from the gay rights community for my silence. What would they have me do? Pack my bags, find a new profession, lock up a lifetime of research and analysis, hide my truth under a bushel? It is not my psychoanalytic duty to tell people they are marvelous when they are out of control, much less ask disingenuous rhetorical questions like, "What kind of God would afflict people with an 'objective disorder' in the disposition of their hearts?"

Giving God the credit for their gayness is a persistent refrain in much gay literature today, and I am saddened to see people of evident good will become unwitting parties to the blasphemy. Gays ascribe their condition to God, but he should not have to take that rap, any more than he should be blamed for the existence of other man-made maladies-like war, for instance, which has proven to be very unhealthy for humans and for all other living things. God does not make war. Men do.

And, when homosexuality takes on all the aspects of a political movement, it, too, becomes a war, the kind of war in which the first casualty is truth, and the spoils turn out to be our own children. An exaggeration? Well, what are we to think when militant homosexuals seek to lower the age of consensual sexual intercourse between homosexual men and young boys to the age of 14 (as they did in Hawaii in 1993) or 16 (as they tried to do in England in 1994)? In the Washington March for Gay Pride in 1993, they chanted, "We're here. We're queer. And we're coming after your children."

What more do we need to know?

Note:  Does Homosexuality Threaten Society? Socarides - "Yes, and the most troubli9ng thing to me is that we don't know it yet. The American public doesn't understand.For more than 40 years the most basic institution in society has een under assault, while the nation's traditional watch dog, the press, has been largely unconcerned...Sexual freedoms don't give anyone the permission to destroy society. And that's what the gay rights movement is doing, , destroying society, in the name of freedom, a fictive freedom." (Homosexuality: A Freedom Too Far, pp.285-6)

Socarides is a co-founder of NARTH, National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality. 

First Comment from Don:

This comes under the heading of killing sacred cows... very touchy work.  The piece you presented was valid as far as it went but much has happened in the past 20 years that bears examination.  In the early 90's I taught at University level in my second career, the first was 20 years as an airline pilot.

This is the time that students as products of programed instruction began to appear.  I was shocked to discover that although nicely socialized they had not been educated and in fact quite the opposite and were markedly and uniformly unable to think.

I think their "educators" were uneducated themselves and thus knew nothing to to teach beyond moment to moment programed learning.  In many ways it became clear that most of these college students were totally unprepared for college but education had become a cash cow and standards were lowered to accommodate the cows that were passed on and graduated.

Worse yet was that young men were presenting with speech and behavior patterns that had formerly been associated with females.  These were boys who had been raised (and educated) by women with little or no interaction with men... and thus, the female will forever dominate.

The problem of course was the rise of the feminist movement in the US with the result that women once again demonstrated that left to themselves they could only raise little boys to be little girls.  And historically be reminded that is is not news as great societies made it a point to get their male children away from the women at an early age.

This is the reason for separate education in the Greeks, the Romans, the Spanish, and the British... all societies that conquered the world.  Little girls didn't do that, it took men.  And notice that these days the Elites favor separate schools and for the most part, the faculty is male. 

FAST FORWARD...  in late '93' I left America to study in Asia and spent the next 7 years in India studying Buddhism for Initiation and stayed in Asia until returning to US a few years ago.  I was shocked at America's descent over that 20 year period.

The first question out of any visitor looking around is "what happened to the kids?"  Knowing that in every society the women are responsible for raising the kids the next question must be "what happened to the women?"  And another, "what happened in the educational system dominated by women?

Proof is in the pudding that are the children as one begins to notice that children, particularly the males, raised and educated by women, have in many cases assumed the worst qualities of the women that raised them. 

Comments for "Excuse Me, Gay is Not Good "

Jim said (March 13, 2013):

I read with interest your two most recent articles. I can identify with nearly everything Dr. Socarides has said.

While we are not "born that way" we certainly did not choose to have homosexual feelings. But as Dr. Socarides points out once the root causes of homosexuality are addressed those unwanted feelings become more manageable.

Homosexuality is a terrible demon and is very difficult to overcome. I salute you and Dr. Socarides for your continued efforts to help men and women triumph over this oppression.

Marek said (March 13, 2013):

Of course there is not denying that PROMOTION of homosexuality is an Illuminati invention. They see it as a gateway for promoting trans-sexuality, then pedophilia to age zero, sodomy, necrophilia and then probably even killing as a respectable sexual fetish.

Psychology tries to explain almost anything they cannot explain otherwise by those mystical first 3 years. If broken relationships between fathers were the cause of homosexuality, then in some poverty-stricken districts most of the men would be gay!

How about looking at evidence of past-life therapies where people remember being gay in another lifetime for different reasons?
Why assume that Christianity has all the answers?
Maybe some homosexuals are gay because of a pre-life choice they made.

If heterosexual lifestyles can be manipulated to rampant promiscuity, then it is even easier in the homosexual world.

Steven said (March 13, 2013):

In response to Hilary's comment that "she" should not be judged, I'd like to point out that Dr. Socarides and none of the other commentators have not voiced judgment against individuals who have gone through these confusing circumstances in their lives. The confusion perpetuated by the educational system in all forms of media, as well as propensity for moms that act like roosters and dads who act like hens, are certainly not the doing of young people. Unfortunately it seems to be their undoing.

I would like to focus on the hormone-confusing food additives that are currently abundant in our food supply. Agricultural chemicals, fertilizers, pesticides, fumigants and so froth, also cause chaos within the human endocrine system. I think it's incumbent upon all of us to show and genuinely feel compassion for those amongst us who are so confused on such a fundamental and definitive matter as one's own sexuality.

While living in Manhattan, I was regularly approached by homosexuals wanting me to sign a petition for gay rights. When I asked them what a gay right was, they read off a shopping list of fundamental human rights. Because these people are amongst us, it would benefit our society if they enjoyed all the same rights and privileges that the rest of us enjoy. I'm definitely not supportive of gay rights, but I'm just as definitely supportive of human rights for gays. It seems only compassionate, considering they didn't created the confusion, but unfortunately they live it every day.

anon said (March 13, 2013):

ref to Dan below-

The good doctor's son might've started with teenage rebellion. How else to spite Dad?

Or Masons and their "higher rituals." You don't rise without "good standing" in lewd and perverse all-seeing eyes.

Masons lie for each other unto perjury. His legal career door-openers were all Masons. They might wink at his clever PR.

Many NYC / Hollywood bigwigs pretend leaning that way. Some pretend to be Jewish for success. Hollywood is built on fiction beyond the screen.

If you were a NYC / Hollywood climber encumbered with bad-dad heritage, what might you do? Truth is irrelevant - he's a lawyer - a Clinton advisor, no less! The meaning of "is" we can manage.

Answer: become gay! It worked. In olden tymes, for Sabbateans, the answer was: become anything in public to get ahead, do as you please in private.

MW said (March 12, 2013):

Well worth reading both parts; thank you Henry I will share far and wide

In SA we have more and more gay boys and men amongst whites more and more lesbian females

Our indigenous black population never had this problem it flared amongst them after 1994 and is growing rapidly

Both gays and lesbians on sharp increase here

I spent two years living and working amongst homosexuals truly the saddest people in the world

I can but confirm the following from listening to a great many of these boys

Most had overbearing mothers and absent fathers ie mother wore the pants in the house or were divorced with boyfriends in and out

Most had vile stories of cruelty by fathers and sexual abuse within the family either incest or family friends or mothers various boyfriends

Some suffered under teachers most horribly

I pity them from my heart these lost children but can never condone their lifestyle

My homosexual contacts are well aware of my take on this love; the sinner reject rebuke and teach against the sin selah

Very informative these articles thanks again

Hilary said (March 12, 2013):

I've just had my breakfast and looking at the picture of the two men kissing almost made me wretch.

I know it seems ironic for me to say this, in view of the fact that I had a gender change(i would have avoided it at the time if someone gave me a magic pill), but i personally believe that something was put in our vaccines when we were at Primary school. It seemed to be one vaccine after another...i was one of the unlucky ones, i's not purely about choice...i also think we're part of their cruel experiment.

Anyway, again another great article Henry - Socarides was really a hero of our time and were it not for the sick meddling NWO Eugenicists our society could have been saved and men could have stayed men and women, women.

Socarides is also right about the causes of homosexuality with fathers being absent from bringing up their children and coincidentally my father and mother divorced when I was four and I didn't have a father figure until I joined the Army when I was 18, but it was too late then.

Thanks and keep up the great work Henry.

PS: When I was at university in 2001 I also began my gender change and there was this straight acting gay guy who pretended to be my friend, but all he was after was trying to get me to go with him, but not for one second did I ever consider it. Yuk!
It was even more yukky after he told me that he went with his very straight-acting student house mate and they did it in the garden shed.

I was a member of the LGBT at uni and it was full of selfish and conceited annoying individuals (barring one or two) who had the nerve to judge me for my condition. At least people could know that I was not normal, instead of pretending to be. The only thing that really saved me from a breakdown at St Andrews was the university church minister and student support services. LGBT is a joke.

Dan said (March 12, 2013):

Dr. Charles Socarides was right. Unfortunately a son of his is an openly gay New York attorney. Of course this son was always given the royal carpet treatment by the most powerful gay political organizations, including Presidential appointment as a White House adviser throughout the Clinton administration , 1992-1999. For such a valuable PR commodity Richard Socarides could write his own ticket and be very well treated indeed. He even had a position coordinating the queering of NATO forces during the Kosovo war.

After Clinton he on the boards of the Lesbian & Gay Law Association of Greater New York (LeGaL) and GLAAD. .Today he's Senior Vice President at New Line Cinema making sure every movie has politically correct gay content.

His father, Dr. Charles Socarides was interview in 1995 by the New York Times News Service. He said;
"I ask myself, `Did I fail my son?' Because certainly something happens, it's not in your genes, something happens in relationship to the mother and father. I thought about this with a lot of pain, a lot of anguish, as many other parents have. Unfortunately, I could not be my own son's psychotherapist. I rode the horse I was given."

If you ask me, "something" can also happen when you're a target of the "Homintern" government which has the power to make brainwashed "lone gunmen" right under families noses. Who knows how many people with access to his son were MKULTRA experts? The son was born in 1954 and anybody of that generation can remember how powerfully we were influenced during puberty by the culture right under their unsuspecting parent's noses?

Dr. Socarides was one man up against a "must be" hidden agenda of the NWO.

Victoria said (March 12, 2013):

As an ex-'gay' like the third of Dr. Socarides patients who recovered from homosexuality, I couldn't agree more with his assessment of the situation. Like him, I have observed that all the gay males I have seen had a dominant mother and an excessively passive father and the reverse is true for females.

The dominant parent seems to be a bully and usually incurs the blame for their child's wayward sexuality (graffiti seen in a London, England men's toilet stall: "My mother made me a homosexual"; to which some wag had retorted beneath, "If I give her the wool, would she make me one, too?"). However, it seems to me, it is the child's, passive, same-sex parent, who by assuming a victim mentality, escapes attention and therefore any responsibility for helping to create the situation.

Why would any self-respecting child want to identify with a same-sex parent who appears completely powerless;? How much more empowering it is to try to emulate the leader of the family.

To my child's mind, this was how I saw my mother and father. It was only later in life that I came to see that her power was the exact equal of my father's but, in a sense, far more destructive for being exercised in a negative, resistant, covert manner. The anger of a 'bully' is easily seen but the resentment of a 'victim' is usually well buried.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at