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Mothers with Careers are Stressed Out

April 1, 2013

stress99.jpg"I am very tired of the propaganda
 encouraging mothers to pursue careers.
If mothers aren't raising their children, who is?

by Erin Drake

A recent Huffington Post article implies that stress is here to stay for women. Women are more stressed in the workplace because they are more conflicted about their role. But they are told they have no alternative. A "life coach" recounts:

"One [female] client kept a [policy statement] that spelled out which work demands took precedent over dinner with her kids. Another client had a mantra at the ready when she felt obliged to stay at work for financial reasons-- "Sometimes 'being there' for my kids means being at work."
The article continues, "...stress is here to stay."

Do you hear that ladies? And be sure to use the above New World Order mantra to suppress that aching, nagging feeling that you should actually be with your kids!   Very helpful message from the Huffington Post.
Not only am I tired of this propaganda, I am very saddened and infuriated because it has seeped into my life in several ways.  It affects my relationships to the core, but most Americans are not awake to realize the source of this tension. 

stress24.jpgMy husband and I are in our thirties.  We have several friends with small children, in which both parents work.  Financially, they could comfortably afford for one parent to stay home, but this is not their choice. 

When we try to visit with them, say, on a Saturday, it is insanity.  The parents are stressed and fighting with one another, because they've been working full-time all week and trying to raise kids in their spare time.

 During a recent visit with our friends Dave and Sharon, Dave confided that Saturday is "intensified" and "stressful" .  The kids are all wound up because they are so thrilled to finally get time with their parents.  As Dave chatted with me, Sharon, an attorney, nuked microwave meals for the kids. I wonder who, in their situation, would have time to prepare a home-cooked meal? 

Sharon has told me that their nanny makes more money than she does.  So my husband and I  wonder, why she doesn't just stay home?  We speculate it has to do with needing to work towards career advancement to pay back a hefty student loan.


Additionally, we have noticed poor Dave is quite emasculated around Sharon. Dave's demeanor becomes quite meek while she chides him for not following her directions.  I feel bad that this is occurring at all, but imagine them acting this way in front of us, rather than just in private. 

Dave is also on antidepressants.  His explanation to my husband is that he can't deal with the humdrum of everyday life since kids.  The example he gave is that he would find that "no one unloaded the dishwasher" and that makes him feel like he's going to "lose it".


When I read Huffington Post propaganda suggesting women use a mantra like, "Sometimes 'being there' for my kids means being at work" it makes me sick.  If you aren't there for your kids, who is?  Who is supposed to raise them and be there for them?  I'm sure the government would be happy to step in and mold them into fine, young slaves. 

This article literally suggests that women keep a "written page" that spells out which workplace demands take precedent over dinner with their kids -- and which do not.  I propose that mothers write no such list, and, if they can afford it, raise their own kids and ALWAYS make them a home-cooked meal.  We're talking fundamentals, here.
The families I have seen with a stay-at-home mom have no "intense" Saturdays.  They can relax on the weekend because mom was at home to look after the kids and chores.

They can take the time to enjoy their friends and family!  I miss Dave and Sharon.  I have a hard time enjoying our visits when they're always in frazzled, "make-up time mode" with the kids.


Comments for " Mothers with Careers are Stressed Out "

LK said (April 2, 2013):

Dear Henry - I thought this quote was so appropriate in light of your recent article titled, Mothers with Careers are Stressed Out.

Margo Channing (Bette Davis) in All About Eve:

"Funny business, a woman's career. The things you drop on your way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you'll need them when you get back to being a woman...In the last analysis, nothing's any good unless you can look up just before dinner or turn around in bed and there he is. Without that you're not a woman."

In an interview before her death, Bette Davis referenced this quote adding that she could certainly relate to it being true in her own life.
Even the most hardened of women can not deny the very nature they were created with.

Nathan said (April 2, 2013):

They have changed and manipulated what a career for a woman naturally is, and that would be the family. This is the foundation of all
humanity and our societies. If the children are not properly raised, nurtured, and loved and the family unit strong and whole we are left with a foundation that has been undermined. If the foundation is undermined then the whole entire structure built upon it is as well.

The money changers system has undermined the vital importance of what the natural career of a woman is and exalted what their idea of a
woman's career should be. Which would be a soulless robot with no motherly instincts, left chasing material happiness, which is also an
illusion, and to generate more money for money changers in their "work force". Which ultimately causes friction between the male and female
partner and breaks apart the family unit. The family unit is supposed to be peaceful, comforting, wholesome, and flowing, not stressful,
intense, cumbersome, and conflicting. In the end a woman's true career success will be defined by her family and their benefit to humanity. Not what she does for their system and that is a fact.
Also I think a lot of women have forgotten that raising a family also includes having hobbies and doing things you love aka FUN.

Adrian said (April 2, 2013):

The key to this problem is that today, in general, couples do not trust each other and there is no union of goals and resources.

Women who must trust their livelihoods to husbands are not cared for by the husband. Typically husbands will amass or financial power exclusively to themselves and not share it. They will not, as they should, recognize the trust and material sacrifice of the woman by, for example joint bank accounts and joint ownership. Why would a woman trust such a man?

Regarding goals, there can only be one final decision maker, and once again, if that is the man he must recognize the trust and provide confidence that decisions made are best for all the family.

In summary, the issue is lost trust and a descent into materialism.

Tracy said (April 2, 2013):

I just ready Erin Drake's article " Mothers With Careers are Stressed Out".

She makes many great points, and I find the article right on the money. She raises what I believe is the most important issue in the article - she asks:

"If you aren't there for your kids, who is? Who is supposed to raise them and be there for them? " Henry, I'm a 49 year old man. I've worked as a broadcaster since I was 14 years old. I've been a tv journalist for 25 years. You know what I care about more than anything? Raising my son and daughter to be loving, productive men and women.

I've won lots of awards, and at one time I made a lot of money in my career. Today all that means exactly crap. I'm blessed that I can be at home with my kids late in the day. Teach 'em to love God and help and love people. I won't go on but, what could possibly be more important than that? And what sort of life does a woman live if she doesn't count these as her primary values? I hope more women and men, but especially women, will begin making their homes and families more important than salary and position. People who can make this choice are the last, best hope for modern society. Anything else will eventually lead to 21st Century slavery. Harsh, but true.

JG said (April 2, 2013):

Removing the mother from the home and into the workplace created much revenue for the economy. That's another car they had to buy, wardrobe for the workplace, a nanny they have to hire, and the purchase of psychotropic needed to cope with all the stress involved. There might be a strong commercial motive behind this scenario.

Anna said (April 2, 2013):

I’m starting to get tired if the propaganda discouraging mothers to pursue careers, which is something I observe on this website. I truly appreciate your insightful articles on current affairs, but I’m getting tired with a weekly dose of “those poor women trigged into being a career-driven rat”.
Why there’s never anything about women who are happy mothers and happy working women at the same time? Trust me, there’s plenty of them.
I am one and I was raised by one. Both my parents had their careers (they still do) and I always had a homemade dinner cooked by either my mom or dad, depending on which one had a time that day or the night before. My parents were partners in life and they shared they household duties – maybe that’s why they’re still happily married after many, many years? That and putting God in the first place in their lives, that is.

We’re not just the mothers or wives – we’re also women and I’m not going to feel guilty that I enjoy my time at work as much as I enjoy a family time. Those are two different kinds of activities that fulfill different parts of me.

I feel like people tend to forget about the BALANCE – spending all week at work, not having time for your family isn’t the way to go, but either is self-sacrificing your entire life, so your family is perfectly happy at all times.

I understand, there are women who prefer a very traditional kind of family – fine, we really got it after a few of those one-sided articles.
However, there are also women (and it’s most of those I know), who are perfectly happy having both – family and a career. Too bad you don’t post any articles on those.

I honestly don’t care, whether is the feminism movement, Illuminati or other group in power doing, but I’m glad I have the same choices in life that men have and I’m tired of listening to people telling me, that I’m not happy at all, I just force myself to be.

Al Thompson said (April 1, 2013):

Men have to have a response to this kind of behavior. I suggest that the next time a man is called stupid or an idiot by his wife, just ask the simple question: If I'm so stupid and I'm such an idiot, then why did you marry me? You mean to say that you intentionally married a man who is stupid and an idiot? How dumb is that? How is it that you being so smart would even talk to someone like me who is so stupid? I wouldn't ask these questions in an angry manner, just ask the questions. I know, it's difficult to have some women think logically, but their minds have been twisted by this new age psycho philosophy. This will give the woman something to think about rather than being so emotional over minor issues.

It also helps to understand the dynamics of anger, which is fulminated by feminism. Once you can properly control the anger and recognize it for what it is, then it is much easier to live in peace with your spouse.

Hakeem said (April 1, 2013):

Great article Erin! I felt sorry when I read about your friends Dave and Sharon. Their example is a microcosm of what's going on in the world. We, as a society, are brainwashed and our priorities are messed up to say the least. Status (or going along with the status quo) and wealth are more important than family. Most of us care too much about how our peers and people around us will view us.

For example, just imagine how most people would respond when they ask a stay at home mom the following question "So... what do you do for a living? What's your education?" The majority would look down and/or feel sorry for a woman who sacrificed a so called education and career to raise her kids and care for her family. Most women have been brainwashed into thinking their worth is based on their career. Gotta love the new world order....

College is pretty expensive, and in order to pay those loans back, be prepared to work for most of your life to pay it back. What we fail to realize (as a whole) is we are being played! Women and men both. As long as our priorities are what they are, we'll get what we deserve...

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at