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Women Don't Want Commitment, Man Discovers

January 24, 2015

GYR_erin01.JPG"Serial daters" -

After a divorce, George Smith, 47, is dating again and finding 
that women don't want sex or a relationship, just attention. 

"My experience leads me to believe that a majority of women
simply just don't need a man except to procreate."


by "George Smith"

I am a 47-year old father of two teenagers, currently living in a large Midwestern city.  

I own a successful real estate investment business.  My marriage of 17 years ended recently.  She cited my excessive drinking as the cause but the truth was that we were just two very different people who could no longer live under the same roof.                   

After the dust had settled, I decided to embark on a journey into the world of online dating.  I had no idea what to expect.  It had been 25 years since I had been on a date.        

Now after a year, I have realize that dating has many pitfalls. You must know what you want at the beginning.  In my case, I want a long-term relationship.  I was surprised to discover that many women in the dating world don't share this goal.          

My first experience with online dating was with a 45-year old woman named Vicki.  I found her attractive and smart.  We began the process of courtship, exchanging text messages and having phone conversations.  Everything seem to be going great.  We had dinner together and talked for three hours.  The next day we resumed our communication.  I thought that our relationship was definitely heading in the right direction.
I asked her out for a second dinner, via text message.  A day passed with no reply.  Several days passed.  Same thing.  I wondered if I should contact her again, but decided against it.  I was insulted.  I went through the usual rationalizations. Maybe she didn't get my text.  It was stressful.  How could she suddenly turn me off like a light switch? 

Months passed and I could see her checking out my profile online. I realized that Vicki, after eight years of dating, had no intention of being in a relationship.  She just liked the idea of chatting and going out on an occasional date.    

card.jpgI had two more similar experiences.  One was with a girl named Aimee.  Just like Vicki, she was attractive and smart.  We began our near daily routine of texting, combined with weekly phone calls.  Yet, the communication was always fairly superficial, not because I wanted it to be, but rather because she didn't seem open going deeper.

We went out on a date.  I thought it went fine.  I asked her out again.  She agreed to go, then abruptly stopped returning my text messages. I had fallen, yet again, for the serial dater.  Aimee, like Vicki, had also been dating for about eight years.  

I fully acknowledge that often the chemistry is not there and things fizzle out after a couple of months.  


It's important to make an honest assessment of what you have to offer a potential partner.  Starting with physical appearance, I am 6' 1" and presently 215 pounds.   I swim everyday to stay fit,  so I have good muscle tone.   I'm lacking some hair, but generally speaking, I am of above average looks.  You can judge for yourself in reading this post as to my intellectual ability.  I operate a successful business and am financially able to experience just about anything that money can buy, within reason.  

I was in a relationship for over 20 years and although it ultimately failed, except for a couple of years, it was wonderful.   I drink very little, about every other week.  I have two wonderful kids, who are straight A students with good social skills.  I may have some personality weaknesses, but I can't think of anything glaring.  I think it's hard to be successful in business if you have major personality issues.  In short, I believe that I have a great deal to offer.       

I could have said something that turned these women off, but I don't think so.  I'm usually pretty careful about that.   Perhaps I should have flirted more, but as a novice dater, I don't have much recent game experience. I think that deep down, some people just don't want a relationship.   They like the dating and attention, but have no desire to go any further.   Seldom are they ever upfront about this to their pursuer.  

Dating is exhausting.  You can invest a great deal of time and energy into something that yields no fruit.
The point is that we should all learn to quickly identify these individuals.  Don't believe what they tell you about being interested in a relationship; you have to look at their dating history.         
Perhaps people don't want to invest the time and hard work.  Maybe they fear commitment.  Feminism could certainly be the culprit.   My experience leads me to believe that a majority of women simply just don't need a man except to procreate.  I affectionately call them "pump and dump" women.   I know it sounds jaded.  But it's all I've seen so far. 
Currently I find myself being tempted by yet another beautiful and professionally successful woman named Michelle.  Her relationship history consists of two years of marriage and a child out of wedlock, followed by six years of dating. 

What do you think the chances are that I am the prince that she's been waiting for?  I think her past is the best indicator of what she will do in the future.  The flip side of it is maybe she's ready for a change.  But change of this magnitude is hard for anyone.   I'll keep you posted.

Makow Comment: These women are self sufficient economically and don't know what they want. You have to provide leadership. You want a woman who is submissive. The essence of the male-female relationship is that the man convinces a woman to do what he wants and rewards her with his love. Try making demands. You might be surprised at the result.

First Comment from Doug:

Henry, this is very true. In my own case, I am involved with a great woman -- who I believe was a serial dater prior to meeting me. She even had the nickname "two-date Tracy" because apparently, she would go out on a first date as an ice breaker. If the guy didn't turn her off, she'd go on a second date. She said that before the end of the second date there was something about the guy she wouldn't like and that would be that. 

So what's the difference with me?  She ended up really liking me. We have very similar intellectual pursuits and similar morals, and obviously there is the element of physical attraction as well. But its her mind that grips me the most. Her looks are really just a bonus. And she feels the same way, as we have talked about it. 

But anyway, yes, dating in 2015 sucks terribly.If you're a smooth talker, it is incredibly easy to get sex from them... But I am at the point in my life where I don't want that so much as I want a loyal friend & companion that is not a canine. LOL  I would like a lover and companion/best friend rolled into one.  Many women say they want that, but their actions indicate that they want to be comfortable enough with a guy to have sex and satisfy their sexual instincts for a while, and they just want some attention. Let's face it:  women today, unless they are mentally challenged and unable to work, do not need a man. Modern living has done damn-near irreparable damage to the state of affairs between men and women. 

What I am doing with the woman I've been seeing is simply being confident, believing in myself and being unapologetic for my behavior and/or views, and being a direct, even if it stings a bit... it seems that women are sick of emasculated men. They really desire a manly man who commands them. They want the alpha male they are hard wired for. The beta male that our society insists that men be, is a huge turn off for women. They want a man that is in control. They want a captain, because they want to be the first mate, just like youve always said!  

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "Women Don't Want Commitment, Man Discovers "

Chad said (February 17, 2015):

This one is a no brainer. Women online are welcomed with a deluge of choices. Why would any woman want to settle for a 47-year old when they can experience the range and smorgasbord of what the Internet has to offer. Most women that ‘should’ be content with this older gentleman have likely been married themselves. They are probably thinking, “now it’s time for some fun!” They’ll often times seek out men several years younger.

Why choose a man who may be needy and probably has ‘performance’ problems when they get someone ten years (or more) younger who can pleasure them all night? These women realize there’s a ton of opportunity out there. Unless he’s loaded, he just can’t compete. A young buck who can hang a wet towel is ultimately no competition for a thick wallet.

I think we realize that the good ones are married by the age of thirty and they tend to stay married. Yes, there are cases where social pressure drives a wedge in the marriage, as we have with “George Smith.” Regardless, typically, the ones who weren’t quite meant to stick it out tend to end up single. They like to “relive their youth” and attempt to make up for lost time. Both men and women do this and it’s pathetic in both cases. Neither of them put their children first.

If George wants to have a companion, he should seek an older woman who’s beyond the desire of younger men and tired of being alone.

AC said (January 26, 2015):

"George" is looking for love in all the wrong places. What does he expect from professional independent women of his own class, even if such "independence" comes out of a soon to be done away with, artificially contrived state-of-affairs? If his search extended below his league into traditional Third World societies, he'd eventually find a devoted life-long partner -- and one still in her late 20's or early 30's. But it might mean having to lower his standards and expectations to find fulfillment in what he might still consider a come-down. In the end he'll get more by settling for less.

Joe said (January 26, 2015):

For ALL unmarried/divorced males in ALL modern western societies, GO YOUR OWN WAY. Leave these women BEHIND.

Kudos to "Bill S" because of MGTOW!

I posted the link to this article at MDTOW

Take Care, Beware, and Be Good!

Bill S said (January 25, 2015):

People date for a variety of reasons. Like George said, it's best to know your goal from the start. I "kissed dating goodbye" about 12 years ago. As George said, it's exhausting. And expensive. As you said, women want to be led. YET - they want to be led where they want to go. So you need to pay close attention to every clue they provide - in their profile, on dates, in texts, etc. In other words, women want men to do all the work (typical!). Both men and women want to play the field. Both like variety. Both want to cast a wide net - then weed out the losers. It's a numbers game, just like sales. Women should understand this. But often they are like jealous detectives, with a thousand questions and sh*t tests. Double standards abound. Especially the one about who pays - always the male. I got so sick of the rigged game, I just stopped playing it. MGTOW

Z said (January 25, 2015):

First of all - yes women are different and especially women in the age category of 45+ certainly want something different than at age 25 or 35 regardless whether they have children.

You might be interested to take a look at the following site with the corresponding Sexual Market Value development for men and women that women best would deny it exists:

It seems rather to me that you did several errors which are of course understandable after such a long absence from the dating market:

1. You picked women who are too old for you - the feminine imperative shames you when you attempt to pick one 10-20 years younger, but that is what you should do. You are in shape, successful and good-looking. You would be amazed that you can attract women in the age categories of 25-35 quite easily.

2. Second you might want to take a look at some of the Game teachings that simply aid you to create more attraction with women by a series of good communication tools which work on women. Women in fact think very differently from us. Even adjusting your behavior selectively creates much different results.

(For links to further your knowledge just take a loot at - he is a happily married man who analyzes relationship patterns and also continues to study Game as a form of relating better to women. Whether you use it for "easy sex" or on in your future wife Nr. 2 is irrelevant - the concepts are similar.)

Reg said (January 25, 2015):

Henry, I got a comment for this man. It goes like this: Location,location, location. He's in the wrong country. Women in the west are just no good. Stay away from that single mother--it's nothing but a big bag of stress in the making. Also, women in their middle ages are not fit for love and marriage, if they were, they wouldn't be available and if they were of any real value, they wouldn't be on the dating site. They're all a big bloody scam looking for attention but not offering anything in return. I say get out of the west if you have the financial resources. Go to south east Asia, Latin America or Eastern Europe, and find a real woman without baggage or feminist issues. It was over 15 years ago when I found out this way to OPT OUT of Feminazism.

LoisAnn said (January 25, 2015):

Dating is 'EXHAUSTING'? Does he think women do not sense this? If THIS is exhausting what does a woman feel should she become 'involved'? Online dating is pretty risky and for one so professionally set, of good appearance and intelligent writing he left out one important element. COMMON SENSE.

Surely in his own social group there must be someone who could be interesting or aware of someone who 'knows just the right person' for him.

Luke said (January 25, 2015):

In regards to dating, I think it's important for men to realize how dire the state of affairs are in the world today, and to realize that seeking a fulfilling relationship with a woman is a lost cause... and that there are far more important things for us God-loving men to be focusing our energy, thought, and time on... such as working on restoring God's creation to its pristine origins.

Since leaving the garden of Eden, we have travelled so far down the rabbit hole of sin that now evil is good and good is evil... In this evil world, we cannot expect God's creations to function as initially intended (especially women)

Women are programmed to be attracted to (and supportive of) a masculine man who aligns himself with God's creation. She is a perk in the life of a man who is on a mission with God...

However, to a man who is living a life of sin (in a world of sin) she will never find long-term attraction or even enjoy his company for long. She will learn to resent her man, belittle him, blame him for her suffering, etc, then eventually leave him (or push him away) and begin searching for the Man who will lead her back to the garden of Eden... and back into a relationship with her Father (God).

Remember, part of the original sin was when Adam chose to be led by Eve (when she suggested he take a bite out of the apple of the tree of knowledge of good and evil). We will never be able to make our way back to that garden if we continue to put women on a pedestal and let then take the lead.

Put women to the side and seek first the kingdom of God.

Tony B said (January 25, 2015):

On line dating? What did he expect? Shallow start, shallow result.

Try going to church to meet someone.

These days there is no guarantee there either as most churches are also shallow. Backslapping and pot luck before going home to the football game. And many people only go to try to gain something material. But it's still much better than on line dating, for crying out loud.

But we, in the English speaking west, live in a very satanic atmosphere which we mostly now take for granted and forget that it is satanic at its base. It's even tough when both parties are well meaning because we are all pretty much corrupted in our material world that dismisses any thoughts of spirituality as foolishness. Therefore couples have little of substance to offer one another. Just worldly vanity which leaves little to build upon since each already possesses too much of that.

Al Thompson said (January 25, 2015):

The problem with dating is the issue of sex. Obviously, one would have for engage in fornication in having sex with someone they aren't married to and I think this is the key problem. Having sex before marriage damages the relationship. I think it would be better to simply date with the idea of checking each other out for marriage.
It would be much better to not have sex until marriage. This way, you don't get your heart and mind destroyed. Not having sex relieves a lot of pressure on both people and it makes a healthy relationship.

Sex is something very personal between a man and a woman and it should be done within the confines of marriage. This will make the relationship last longer and put it on more solid ground.

Women don't want commitment just as many men don't want it either. They use online dating waiting for the "next big thing." (No pun intended.) When I thought I had found someone that was going to work out, I saw she was still looking at the online dating service. Possibly looking for her next victim. In my opinion, dating should only be used to find people for a future marriage. Women use men to get what they want too. Sex is the leverage and the point of control that women use to get what they want. This isn't a healthy way to engage in relationships.

Besides, take away the sex, then look at the woman and see her qualities. That's a better way for making dating decisions. Sex can distort one's perceptions of love and sex.

If I was to do online dating again, I'd make it clear that there would be no sex until marriage. And that I am clearly looking for a wife. Now see how many dates you'll get.

JW said (January 24, 2015):

Interesting commentary by George Smith about the dating scene... and timely too.

Last night I was feeling a bit lonely so I got on line and started looking for women in my area who are interested in dating.

What I've found so far are women who look older than they claim to be or are terribly over weight.

Also, one other thing I noted, in their picture profiles many women have pics of everything but themselves. I've seen horses, dogs, cats, rainbows, beaches, trees, meadows and children but no picture of themselves. Does she really think I will make contact with her because she posted a picture of a baby cow?

It's just weird.

If I do get back into the dating scene I will heed your advice of "Try making demands. You might be surprised at the result." It will be interesting to see the reaction.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at