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Girls' Romantic Ideal Based on Father

June 18, 2016


9833.jpgFOR FATHER'S DAY JUNE 19

A father's love, nurturing and approval 
are essential for a young girl's
healthy development as a woman.

Girls model their romantic ideal 
on their father. 







By Henry Makow Ph.D.
Feminism Deprives Girls of Father's Love
Revised from June, 2005


Most girls receive too little love from their fathers, and grow up to be insecure, distrustful of men and frigid, says Victoria Secunda, author of Women and their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man in Your Life (1992). The result is failed marriages, broken families and a vicious circle of fatherlessness.

Secunda's conclusions are based on interviews with 150 daughters, 75 fathers, and dozens of authorities. Because she is not an academic, Ms. Secunda has written an honest and useful book. Because she is a feminist, it slipped through the feminist censors and was well received. This is ironic because feminism is largely responsible for the symptoms she describes.

FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS

Girls model their male romantic ideal on their relationship with their father, according to Secunda. One woman said: "When I grow up, will I ever find a man as sweet and good and kind as my daddy." (p.105)

Women's attachments are "mirror images" of how they related to their fathers. "They instinctively repeat what they experienced in childhood, even if it was the worst thing in the world. It's what they know. They are trying to have one more shot at childhood, one more chance to rewrite their emotional histories." (224)

A three-year-old girl wants to marry Daddy and have mother out of the way. A good father helps her to understand that he is spoken for and prepares her for another man. But if he leaves, her idealization of her father can be frozen in time. (197)


booksecunda.jpgGirls must have their father's approval and love. This is like sun and water to a flower. One woman said: "Whenever I'd worry about ever getting a boyfriend, he'd laugh and say, 'Are you kidding? I'll have to beat them off with a stick. You'll see.' His whole approach was to make me feel good about myself.... I think if fathers do nothing else, that's a great thing." (221)

Another woman said: "It's my dad who made me believe in myself. I remember my mom once telling me, 'Don't act too smart; boys won't like you." To which my father responded, 'Hogwash! She'll get smarter boys." (225)

These women naturally feel positively about themselves and are able to find partners who mirror the devoted father of their childhood.

"FATHERLESS" WOMEN

If a woman does not have a dependable nurturing father, due to his arrested development or divorce, she may believe she is essentially unlovable and
actually seek out men who deny her needs or reject her. (224)

These women may become sexually active prematurely. They may fear intimacy. The common theme is "an inability to trust, to believe that a man won't go away."

Secunda says that women who have trouble achieving orgasm mostly had fathers who were emotionally or physically absent during their childhood. (31) Understandably, a woman needs to trust in order to "let go." (See also my "The Power of Sexual Surrender.")

Women with absent fathers feel rootless and aren't sure they belong anywhere. They close up emotionally and tend to have rocky relationships. "Most of these daughters tended to test the men in their lives, starting fights, finding flaws, expecting to be abandoned, or looking for excuses to walk out themselves." (214)

FEMINISTS COMPENSATE BY BECOMING MASCULINE 

Another pattern is anxiety about being financially dependent on men. This is where feminism comes in. "It seems that the less masculine attention they got in childhood, the more they seem to identify with and imitate men, keeping their feelings hidden, preferring casual teasing and unemotional banter to the intimacies of feminine soul bearing." (212)

Denied their fathers, women become more masculine. This is a way of bringing daddy back. They become the thing they are missing. (212)

In other words, a good father affirms his daughter's innate femininity. But if he is absent, she compensates by becoming masculine. This of course undermines her future relationships with men.

Many leaders of second-wave feminism are themselves products of broken homes. "My father didn't ever exist as a presence in my life.... He didn't care about us," said Marilyn French, author of The War Against Women.

"My father was living in California," said Gloria Steinem. "He didn't ring up but I would get letters from him and saw him maybe once or twice a year."

Germaine Greer: "My father had decided pretty early on that life at home was pretty unbearable...it gave my mother an opportunity to tyrannize the children and enlist their aid to disenfranchise my father completely." (From Susan Mitchell. Icons, Saints and Divas: Intimate Conversations with Women who Changed the World, New York: Harper Collins, 1997.)

Feminism is a self-perpetuating form of compensating for father-loss. Its goal is to "overthrow the patriarchy." The word originates in the Latin "pater" or father.

capital.jpgFeminism, like Communism, originates in the Masonic Jewish endeavour to overthrow God and the natural order and impose on mankind an all-encompassing dictatorship. Love, especially for a woman, is an act of faith. Feminism traumatizes young women with tales of how a woman is violently raped every 10 seconds. It teaches that all injustice is due to the "inequality" of the sexes and therefore heterosexuality itself must be eliminated.

Many feminists are lesbian and promote homosexuality. They have passed laws that deprive men of their children and property. Courts and police routinely discriminate against men. (See my "Dawn of the Feminist Police State" and "NWO Tyranny: Men are Being Kicked in the Teeth" )

Second-wave feminism is the greatest enemy of femininity. It is part of a larger occult plan to poison the well springs of love and permanently damage the human spiritual ecology. Society suffers from a sourness due to the loss of feminine love, charm, beauty, intelligence, modesty and grace.

Berlin+Slutwalk+XtG4ch4T9gxl.jpgThe innocent maiden is a relic of the past. The tramp is in. Women want to stay young but it never occurs to them that the secret formula might be innocence.

The establishment fosters and spreads the feminist hoax. I refer you to my articles "Relearning Heterosexual Love" ; "Betty Freiden: Mommie was a Commie"; and "Gloria Steinem: How the CIA Used Feminism to Destabilize Society."

Since the onslaught of second-wave feminism in the 1960's the divorce rate has tripled. Almost 50% of white women who married then have divorced. In contrast, a single generation earlier (1940's), only 14% eventually divorced.
In 2010, four in ten babies were born to unwed mothers. 

A study which tracked 1000 children of divorced parents from 1976 until 1987 found that nearly half of these children had not seen their fathers in the previous year. (203) The situation would appear to foster homosexuality, as males compensate for father-loss by becoming more feminine, and females by becoming masculine, as noted above.

In conclusion, a father's responsibility is to build his daughter's trust in men, and thus prepare her for a worthy man. This involves confirming her in her sexual identity, as a capable attractive partner for a future husband.

Males also suffer from father loss. But there is a father that we can know. I am talking about God. We are made in God's image and His image is in our soul. Man in Latin, "vir", has the same root as virtue. It's as simple as always doing the right thing.

In this context, the right thing for a man means creating a healthy happy family based on sound values and a wholesome vision of life.
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Related - Here Come the Lesbian Rangers










Comments for "Girls' Romantic Ideal Based on Father "

Diane said (June 19, 2016):

I wonder what would happen if we all examined the lost fatherhood resulting from our young men having to fight in Wars, Both in lost lives and time/PTSD.

Your article on Dads and Daughters was profound to me, what happened in my own family is that my paternal Grandpa was a war WW1 orphan and had a resulting inability to attach, and a lot of issues were handed down the family. No More Wars !


Robert K said (June 14, 2014):

A quote for Father's Day from C.S.Lewis's introduction to George Macdonald, An Anthology: "An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all [George Macdonald's] wisdom. From his own father, he said, he first learned that Fatherhood must be at the core of the universe."

Macdonald was the 19th-century writer Lewis acknowledged as the "master" who had led him from atheism to Christianity.


Wade said (June 14, 2014):

Your insight and understanding of this issue is exactly on point, insightful, and 100% correct.

Possibly the greatest achievement of feminism was obtaining the right to vote. If we were to get back to a system of government and politics that WORKS...we would have to not allow any female to vote. Men could only vote if they paid income taxes,self employment taxes, or property taxes. Any man that does not pay one or more of these
taxes has no financial stake in politics.

Since a man that pays none of these taxes does not contribute to paying our County's bills...he should have nothing to say about the matter and
therefore should have no right to vote.

There are many women with Godly wisdom who the Country could trust with the right to vote, but
since these women comprise such a small percentage of women voters in general...the only
choice we have for the survival of our Nation is to take the vote away from all females. Many
ladies raised by the right kind of loving, protecting, and providing father might agree.

Just one man's observation, which the history of our once great nation should make abundantly clear
to any person who can consider this issue objectively and rationally. Just consider what drastic changes in our Nation would certainly take place if the above conditions were to be implemented and then ask yourselves if...since or Country is poised on the precipice of disaster...can we afford to continue
down the path to destruction Illuminati brainwashing has put us on?


S said (June 14, 2014):

Once I read that 'when women become evil it's because men abused them'. In this case, men = fathers. With abuse I would include everything (neglect, emotional-physical abuse, absence, etc.). We as men hold the strings as to how our women will end up. The Bible story of Adam and Eve reflects this very nicely. Adam, as the man, should have been there to protect Eve from committing the sin.

We as men have failed to protect our women and have allowed the Satanists to brainwash them, just like Adam allowed the serpent to brainwash Eve.


Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at