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Feminine Women

September 20, 2016

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Many women are still in touch

with their feminine instincts.

They like masculine men 

and want to build their life around 

husband and family. Young men

should narrow their quest to women

who are receptive to them, and ignore the rest.

Enlist, don't petition. For a woman

to be a woman, a man must be a man. He must lead.




"Don't waste time trying to make a shoe fit because you're starved for love. Instead, narrow the pool down to women who want you."


(from 2002)


by Henry Makow Ph.D.


Men need to distinguish between women who are feminine and those who are inverted.

A feminine woman is receptive to men. She exudes cheerfulness and inviting warmth. A man can make a friendly remark and be well received.

An inverted woman, on the other hand, is fearful and defiant in the presence of men. She has been taught that man is a competitor, or worse, a predator.

Woman's essential nature is to be an incubator of love. Her natural role is to create an environment in which living beings thrive. Her destiny is to love a man, and through him her children. Her reward is their love and happiness.

Sexual intercourse and childbirth are manifestations of a spiritual relationship. A man must first plant his spirit in a woman's heart and find a warm reception. That spirit takes root and love grows into a sapling, and then a towering oak. Finally, a child is the expression of this unseen reality.

What are the elements of this male-female dynamic?

The male must present a woman with a spirit that she can embrace. Men generally use money or power to appeal to women. However, a man is much more than a provider or doer. He is an agent of God. Every man has a divine mission and purpose on earth. This mission imbues him with a confident masculinity, which appeals to a woman's higher instincts. 

Do women lose their identity in this process? Yes. Partly. Psychiatrist Marie Robinson calls this their "essential altruism." Women were designed to find identity and self-fulfillment in their husband and family. This is positive. Ultimately, women do not get satisfaction in worldly achievement. They find fulfillment from giving and receiving love. They are creatures of love, God's creatures. 

The essence of womanhood is the maternal. A woman nurtures and makes things grow. She gives her husband and children unconditional love. Similarly, the essence of manhood is the paternal. A husband gives direction, purpose and security to his wife and family. Everything leading up to marriage is preparation for these complementary roles. 

Marriage is a mystical union. Man and woman become one. The sword in its sheath; the record in its sleeve. This union in love is the wholeness we all seek. It is a prerequisite for happiness and personal development. Otherwise, we are stalled, i.e. obsessed with sex. In order for union to take place, a woman must identify her self-interest with her husband's. She becomes part of him. He becomes part of her. Their happiness is one.

Couples who remain "independent" are in competition with each other. They cannot know true intimacy. They cannot know true love.


COUNTERING SEXUAL INVERSION


Powerful forces in the world use the mass media to create social trends. These forces are promoting sexual inversion in order to sabotage the nuclear family and destabilize society. They dupe women into denying their femininity and usurping the masculine role. As a result, millions of women are inverted and are missing the boat. Rather than creating loving environments, they are aggressive and self-seeking. They need someone to create a loving environment for them. Hence the power struggle that makes "equal" relationships a constant trial.

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(In The Bostonians, Christopher Reeves helps young woman see past feminist deception) 

In practical terms, what does this mean for men? 1) "A man makes the house, the woman makes the home." A man must get his personal and professional act together. 2) He must love the woman who loves him. Otherwise he should leave her alone. 3) Men should not waste too much time on inverted women, i.e. feminists. (A wag said marrying a feminist is like a Jew marrying an Anti-Semite.)

A strong man might help a feminist rediscover her femininity. (See the movie The Bostonians, for an example.) But you're dealing with milk that has curdled. Better to find a woman who is naturally feminine and naturally receptive. This requires many contacts; the Internet is perfect for this. Don't waste time trying to make a shoe fit just because you're starved for love. Instead, narrow the pool down to women who want you.

I found a woman with traditional values in Mexico and finally found happiness. My wife taught me how a woman creates a loving environment. She gives me s-p-a-c-e, mental and physical. She observes the 4c's of true womanhood. She doesn't compete, criticize, control or complain. If I look at another woman, she doesn't jump on me. She's my friend, not my jailer. 

Is she a doormat? She has a Master's Degree in Information Technology from a leading U.S. university and a career of her own. I do all the shopping and cooking and try to make her happy. Our marriage proves that roles can be flexible when identities are secure. We've been married 15 years.

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Related- Reclaiming Male Power in the Viagra Age 

Makow- Men, Seek Help Mates Not Soul Mates 

---------------  Having Sex is Not Making Love 

Feminine Women are vulnerable and want a man to look after them


First Comment from William D

Your most recent article just hits a sore spot with me as I realize how much time I wasted on a woman who would never love me. It may be too late for me, but I may help another misled young man by telling him your words are those of wisdom and experience. And any young man who wants to be happy should heed your story. 






Comments for "Feminine Women"

JW said (September 21, 2016):

I feel I must comment in response to the 53 year old woman [below] who has 'never met a man that was true husband material' due to the fact they always wanted to have sex before marriage. I must say I had to read that several times to be sure I was reading correctly. I am personally very committed to family values and respect for women - where respect is due. However, in my 55 years on this planet I haven't met anyone of my generation who did not have sex with their wife to be before marriage. (Or in any circumstance didn't want to) I mean what a terrible mistake that could be . Even previous generations invariably had sex before marriage. Only difference being it wasn't openly discussed or admitted to in polite circles.

To write of a man who finds a lady, that he may very well love and respect, because he desires to do what is biologically hardwired is quite absurd. If most women followed this line of thinking then there would be very few marriages. Which would suit perfectly the feminist agenda. The commenter is obviously - it seems - an extreme feminist which has resulted in her being unable to find a suitable husband. However, I get the feeling she doesn't quite understand her own disposition.

Anon replies:

53 year old Anonymous Response to JW

Wow JW completely misses the boat and is a case in point of calling evil, good and good, evil. He thinks a chaste virgin waiting for marriage is a feminist? Just because the world condones fornication does not make it right or Holy. Fornication undermines Marriage. Indeed it is healthy that a man seeking marriage to a woman should DESIRE to have sex with her. But to be a healthy leading husband, he must have restraint. No man can "very well love and respect" a woman if he manipulates her into having premarital sex. What advice would JW say to all the women who were tricked into having pre-marital sex only to discover later, after they did the deed that the man only used the ruse of a future marriage to get sex?

As my father would say, " Why pay for the cow, if the milk is free?"

I have to throw my hands up and laugh because I teach chastity classes to teens. Thus, I understand exactly what I am saying and men that take my class agree. Although that does not mean every man changes their lustful ways, but they realize they are demonic, they accept it and prefer to stay that way.

From a man's POV, Pastor Anderson:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHrMN_vzWmw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poV7T7-PY3k

JW replies:

I think the following sentence say it all when it comes to a totally brainwashed mind set of an ultra feminist. I will say no more as I am sure the readers are intelligent enough to make their own judgment: 'No man can love a woman if he manipulates her in to pre marital sex'. Is there not consent. Where on earth does the manipulation lie! Really your comments show your extreme feminist disposition. Exactly what Henry often talks of. I get the feeling that you are once small step form stating that all sex with a woman before marriage is technically rape due to the perceived manipulation. I find your views very dangerous. Fortunately you are in a minority with your extreme way of thinking. Really you could be given the wrong position of power responsible for innocent men going to prison, family's destroyed. Currently you are likely responsible for warping the minds of vulnerable you girls

Anon replies:

Here is the flawed logic of JW. Instead of answering the question about the man who does actually manipulate a woman into pre-marital sex because he falsely promises marriage -He has no answer. How is a woman supposed to protect herself from con-men? Why does my father think women who give up the "milk" are sluts and not worth "buying" i.e. marrying? Instead, JW must resort to an extreme assumption, I might have: 'all sex with a woman before marriage is technically rape' then as IF that was true, jumping to a false and unwarranted conclusion that, I am 'dangerous' 'responsible for innocent men going to prison, family's destroyed' "warping vulnerable girls'.

A man talking a woman into pre-marital sex is not a show of his LOVE for her. If she consents it is obviously NOT rape. Many feminist women today, do not value the gift of their sexuality and they are the initiators of sex, thus no man is talking them into having sex. Consensual pre-marital sex is never rape.

FYI it is usually the Fathers of teen girls that hire me to give my chastity workshops.

Again I invite you to carefully listen to Paster Anderson's links.



Mark said (September 21, 2016):

This article resonates in me in a very strong manner. I really didn't understand what is about. I don't really have a concept of what it means "to lead." I cannot supply the earthly needs too well, my work history
hasn't been real good for several years and I think security is part of it, I may be wrong.

I was one of those men who never grew up til it was too late in life for a family. The regret I have for this is enormous, as I feel I have missed out on God's plan for me.

Totally subverted by society and my inner pain and not seeing any solutions available at the time. Your article is like a breath of fresh air. Maybe its too late for me but I hope it helps some younger man to understand what its all about.


Anon said (September 21, 2016):

First to put my comment into context: I am 53, I come from a small rural midwest town and grew up with strong Christian values. I have worked as a professional model all my life and have lived and dated men across America from the big cities to small towns- NYC, Des Moines, Boston, Wichita etc.

Yet, I have NEVER met a man that was true husband material in that he was evolved enough to spiritually lead me. The crux of the matter is EVERY man (even the Catholics and Christians) wanted to have sex BEFORE marriage.

Right there a man loses his right to lead because wanting to fornicate is NOT Protecting a woman. Most men lack the understanding of the sacredness and gift of a woman's sexuality. (nor do men understand the woman's bio-chemical addictive oxytocin bonding) If a man cannot start with valuing a woman's sexuality then the whole foundation he sets up for the marriage is flawed. Sure there are tons of marriages that stayed together for various reasons but it is not because the husband created a spiritual garden in which the seed of his wife's Love could grow.

When you see an older married woman who is overflowing with love, warmth and generosity thank her husband because he has afforded and nurtured her with respect and S P A C E (a home) to flower.


Anon said (September 21, 2016):

First to put my comment into context: I am 53, I come from a small rural midwest town and grew up with strong Christian values. I have worked as a professional model all my life and have lived and dated men across America from the big cities to small towns- NYC, Des Moines, Boston, Wichita etc.

Yet, I have NEVER met a man that was true husband material in that he was evolved enough to spiritually lead me. The crux of the matter is EVERY man (even the Catholics and Christians) wanted to have sex BEFORE marriage.

Right there a man loses his right to lead because wanting to fornicate is NOT Protecting a woman. Most men lack the understanding of the sacredness and gift of a woman's sexuality. (nor do men understand the woman's bio-chemical addictive oxytocin bonding) If a man cannot start with valuing a woman's sexuality then the whole foundation he sets up for the marriage is flawed. Sure there are tons of marriages that stayed together for various reasons but it is not because the husband created a spiritual garden in which the seed of his wife's Love could grow.

When you see an older married woman who is overflowing with love, warmth and generosity thank her husband because he has afforded and nurtured her with respect and S P A C E (a home) to flower.


AZ said (September 21, 2016):

Your latest article on feminine woman deeply resounded in my soul. It describes exactly the longing I had for a real woman my whole life. I wrote to you previously that due to my traumatised masculinity in my youth I always attracted the more male type of woman.

But I always had the hope that through my supporting their emotional processes, I could help them to bring them in contact with their real femininity. Until now I haven’t succeeded in that. All of them were to busy to prove themselves in their masculine economic ambitions. But I believe that it is never too late. A Cherokee proverb says:

“A woman’s highest calling is to lead a man to his soul as to unite him with Source.
A man’s highest calling is to protect woman so she is free to walk the earth unharmed.”

This exactly what it’s all about. Thanks for your enlightening openness on your personal life!


Marco said (September 20, 2016):

You are right that God gives men divine missions, I think this is the essence and core of what being a man is. I feel most manly when I look to God and I am willing to sacrifice myself for a higher purpose. UNFORTUNATELY, men these days aren't men, but are dead soulless men who worship the Idol of materialism and self-preservation.

If you worship the Idol of modern culture, which includes Feminism, Masculism (what I call the modern day 'alpha males' who are only interested in themselves, making money, and sex), and all other ideological bullshit, then you are worthless. And if you are worthless, forget any hope for a fulfilled relationship. Is it any wonder why divorce rates are so high.

Christianity will save the world, there is no other hope for men and women. We need to destroy the idols of modern culture and find our higher callings...


Tony B said (September 20, 2016):

I don't know if this fits your message or not but want to mention to you, at least, a bit of my personal experience.

I grew up very self centered largely because at the age of four my family, devoid of a father who died in a WPA accident before my birth, no longer self-sustaining in the 1930s depression, "broke up" and I instinctively realized that the only one to look out for me was me. That attitude is ingrained, almost unshakable.

Now, at 83 years, I read copious pre V2 Catholic writings and have just recently discovered the simple truth that "love is giving of self." Such simple words but so illusive in acts unless taught at a young age. In youthful and no so youthful "falling in love" that truth seems obvious but usually it is actually, in a starry-eyed manner, more selfish than not, wanting to satisfy one's own wants, than it is really love, truly wanting to sacrifice self for another. At least in the "modern," very unchristian world in actions, no matter how much it may call itself Christian.

This is true of both sexes. In fact, girls, the more pragmatic in the end, seem to be even more starry-eyed in "first love" (as well as more resentful when it turns out not to be ideal).

I would that all could be taught the truth of love from birth regardless of faith or lack of faith. True faith would be the natural progression as the love of God for his creatures is boundless but usually not obvious without directed thought as we live in a world where the "modern" (satanic) mental attitude eschews the spiritual as foolish fancy.


Ron said (September 20, 2016):

Congratulations on 15 happy years, Henry. To your wisdom in this article, I'll add two things that each man or woman can evaluate for him or herself.

The first is a quote from Marilyn Monroe: “If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.”

MM may not have revealed a universal truth, but the odds are generally with a man who can make a woman smile or laugh.

Another observation comes from a Mexican gentleman I once knew. His take on interaction with women was even more optimistic than MM's. As he put it, "She's talking to me, she likes me."

It would seem that the women to avoid might include not only the overtly hostile feminist type but the woman who is indifferent to a man. If you can get her talking and laughing, there may be a future relationship there.


Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at