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I Forgot My Wife's Birthday...

May 22, 2018

and She Forgave Me 

by Henry Makow

You can separate the wives of the world into two categories.  

If you forget their birthday, the first group will bite your head off, and make you suffer, and pay. These are the "nasty women." Think Ashley Judd, Nancy Pelosi or Hillary Clinton.  

The second group will take it totally in stride and forgive you. Think Florence Nightingale, Mama Theresa or Melania Trump.

My own wife belongs to this second downtrodden group. She is long-suffering and patient. She has done the impossible- love a man. I congratulate her on her choice.  These are the real women. 

Do I have any excuse for forgetting her birthday? Apart from being a self-centered oldest male child in a Jewish family? Apart from being permanently distracted? 

"I plead Guilty, your Honour. My only Defence is that I treat my wife Like Gold all the time and Birthday honors do sometimes seem redundant."

(This is probably why she forgave me. And her mercy made me love her twice as much.) 

"Well," the judge asks, "how would you feel if she forgot your birthday?

Defendant Makow- "Quite honestly Judge, I'd be disappointed and tease her about it but I'd take it in stride ...after I extracted my pound of flesh."  

Luckily my wife never puts me in that embarrassing position.  

Would you make a fuss if your spouse forgot your birthday? 
First comment from Kathleen:

With respect to your charming article "I forgot my wife's birthday", it sounds like your wife is a jewel, and....just as important...that you know it.

Her patience is a great example to me.  If my husband forgot my birthday ( at least until I read your article ), I would probably be massively indignant, hurt, wounded, etc., etc., etc.

However, after reading your article, I realized that in the context of a long, loving marriage, it is just not that big a deal.  As I am blessed with a husband who treats me with thoughtfulness and respect every day ( you mentioned you treat your wife like gold always) day is really not significant.

Thank you for helping me to appreciate what I have, and all blessings to you and your wife!

(from JP on Twitter):

Unless you are between 5 and 10 years old, one's birthday should never be a huge deal. An example of the infantilization of western culture. Nothing but spoiled, entitled brats. I don't even tell anyone when my birthday is, because I am not a child.

 Rich writes:

Most Western women are either so insecure or vain (thinking they deserve to be treated like a goddess or diva) and their ridiculous "date and anniversary" obsession is just part of their never ending search for validation of their own importance and seeking whether or not that they're "special or not", and of course the sole measure of this is whether or not a man remembers every birthday, anniversary and other ridiculous date, as well as to put the stupid toilet seat down, reading her mind and seeing the future about what she was going to want for dinner tonight and tomorrow night and a thousand other ways of "anticipating her needs" that women use to judge whether or not a man allegedly cares or not. 

Most Western women are so pathetic they have no clue what love actually is which is why when a man truly does love a woman, they dump him because men in love want to make her happy and often do whatever she wants and gives her everything, which women view as him being weak and wimpy because women are sooo deeply insecure they'd rather have an alpha man that yells at her, tells her what to do and it mean to her at times because that makes her feel more secure, than a man that treats her well and truly loves her.

As radio show host Tom Leykis used to say "women pick men who treat them in a way that they FEEL they deserve to be treated".. And since most women generally have zero self-esteem, this largely explains why they pick men that treat them like crap, because that's what they feel they deserve.

Of course no amount of validation or anticipating her needs ever changes how they feel about themselves nor is it ever enough as they're either horribly insecure to the point of needing therapy or soo vain they think they deserve to be treated like a goddess or diva, and it never changes their attitude's or vanity and the second you forget their birthdays or other nonsense they're going nuclear because they're soo offended because of how they think they deserve to be treated. Dating most Western-minded women today is like taking on a mental patient with severe emotional issues that men are expected to deal with as normal.

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "I Forgot My Wife's Birthday..."

Louise said (May 24, 2018):

With regard to your article of 22 May on husbands and wifes I would like to recommend what pastor Paul Washers warm, biblical, realistic and sometimes witty advice is for married couples:

Best regards from The Netherlands,

Mary said (May 24, 2018):

Henry we have been married just about 50 years. We actually choose to forget we forgot each others birthday and it's quite okay !

Al Thompson said (May 23, 2018):

I would certainly make a fuss over my wife not remembering my birthday, mostly because when I was married I needed to get every advantage I could get. If she forgot my birthday, then I would make her pay. I won't discuss how. It would also give me at least a week's worth of razzing her on how she could be so unthoughtful toward her husband.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at