"Looking into my daughters eyes and seeing the reflection of my husbands face is nothing short of a miracle."

by E.M. Monroe

(for henrymakow.com)

I am a twenty-nine-year old mother, daughter, and wife. I am only these things because I am a woman. It is becoming increasingly difficult for people to define what being a woman truly means. I have my own concept of womanhood. I have developed it over time through the experience of being a woman, a wife and most of all a mother.

The world does not understand the enigma of the feminine. Instead it imposes many different stereotypes, concepts and suggestions on womanhood. This extends to men who are also indoctrinated in a particular view of women.

MY JOURNEY

 

My own journey to femininity has not been easy. I always wished that I had been born male; everything seemed to be designed for men. All my life, I have been force-fed false images of woman. I have been told me how I should look, behave, think and most 'importantly' my relation to man.

As a little girl I had to filter out expectations I felt I would never meet. My  Barbie dolls were all blonde, with long legs and tiny waists. I was a short, 'chubby' brunette with a little more intellect than looks. I had already failed on some level. 

How could the world have dealt me such a blow? Why wasn't I 'made' beautiful? At a young age, I started judging women as beautiful or 'not'. Thoughts like this are dangerous to the psyche. Women are programmed to always want to have a man consider her beautiful. Why isn't self-worth reinforced? 

Then as a young woman I came across the career woman. I remember a workshop . A woman was talking about how unhappy she was. Being able to 'read' people a certain way, I said that her unhappiness was not from her work but the imbalance of her life. I told her she had sacrificed what she had wanted to fulfill a stereotype of what was expected of her. She clearly wanted a child but had decided to work instead. The career woman burst into tears at hearing this 'truth', saying that yes it was all true. I vowed that day never to make the same mistake.

MOTHERHOOD 

I definitely wasn't the type that doted on babies. I liked being able to give them back. To have a child form within my own womb, to feel the life force flowing through and creating another human being, to feel things I have never experienced before was life-changing. To suddenly want to protect and provide for this little person my husband and I had created was exciting and new.

It was also very nerve racking. Words cannot and do not explain what it feels like to become a mother. Motherhood represented the love between  my husband and myself. Looking into my daughters eyes and seeing the reflection of my husbands face is nothing short of a miracle. I could see for the first time the incredibly powerful gift of creation bestowed upon me. I could finally feel the beauty of being a woman, and how sacred and how finely balanced life really is. It changed me.  

I had to decide whether to return to work or stay at home. I had a very stable and well paying government job. I made more than the average person. But I chose to give up my job.

"Why would you choose to stay at home?" and "Why would you give up such a secure and high paying job?". These questions were getting old.

My answer was simple. I have a new job. I am a mother now. My job is to raise and care for the child I created. Being a mother is much more than having another watch your child while the money is made. I wanted to be the one to see my daughters first steps, hear her first words and give her the time and care that all children need. 

Being a mother is not easy. I salute all women with children, especially those with more than one. It has, in the short period of four and a half years, presented me with more obstacles than the previous twenty five. It has been hard. Do I regret it? Not in a million years. Would I do it again? I can't wait.

MAN AND WOMAN

 

Women by design are sexual beings, just like men. The hormonal changes experienced by women on a monthly basis ensure procreation. I know. I experience them. To deny this is damaging to the feminine itself.  

Sex is the act of procreation. It is not something that is given away to a passer by, which is becoming the norm these days.

Real love between man and woman should be one of balance and harmony. Without one another, life ceases to be.  

To deny what it means to be feminine is spiritual suicide. However, I see it everyday. I see the unhappy corporate women on the train; the young fifteen-year-olds parading their body. Women are either too empowered or they objectify themselves sexually. I have yet to come across a completely balanced and secure woman.  

 I have been lucky in love. I didn't have to wait very long to find my 'one'. I was eighteen when we met. My husband and I have had our fair share of problems. And we survived them.

To me, Love goes further than the superficial things in life. It's not about the diamond ring, or how quick he responds to my demands. It is about respect and balance, it is about compromise and willingness to take the other persons needs into true consideration.

Love is something that exists without demands, without expectations. It walks alongside forgiveness. When we are together, we are one. We are a team.

We did, however make a deal, to never compromise our own identities. To never lose sight of who we are as individuals, as is the case with so many relationships. Love is giving and receiving. Many relationships have come to an end from the unnatural expectations that people have of one another.

I love being a wife. But I must give credit to my husband who has been one of a kind. I could not enjoy being a wife if it were not for him. I enjoy caring and providing for my family because I love them.

Our relationship is strong because it is real. We have never celebrated a valentines day because everyday is an opportunity to express our love. Our love is a force that drove us together and has never let us part.

Being a wife means that I am complete, not because I was lacking as a person, but because there is now more to me. Finding my 'life partner' and creating a family of my own is the most fulfilling experience of my life. There is nothing about my life that i would change.

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"E.M. Monroe" is the pseudonym of a young woman living in Australia.