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Friends - The Latest Substitute for Marriage

August 24, 2012

"Friends are just there as a stop gap, a salve, a stitch - to hold together the fragile, dysfunctional egos of people too scared and too damaged to grow up."

The Illuminati want friends to replace family.

by Alexandra Fox

(Alexandra Fox, 28, our London Correspondent, is an astute observer of new trends.)

For some time now, the media has been pushing the importance of "friendship" to young people. Advertising campaigns feature lots of happy, shiny friends laughing and having fun. All social media pivots around how many friends they have. The post popular sitcom of the last twenty years was called "Friends".

No-one can disagree that friends are a good thing.However the media's interest in the concept should be a warning sign. The kind of central, inextricable daily role depicted in the media belongs to an age-and-stage. Promoting them into adulthood is promoting arrested development.

We need those kind of friendships growing up to learn how to socialize and interact with the world, but the natural progression is that these bonds naturally loosen and take a back seat to marriage and children.

This is no longer happening. Nature intends marriage and family to happen at some point between the ages of 18 and 25; but is a rare Gen X'er or Millennial who would even consider settling down in their early twenties.

These are their prime years for having "fun", and fun translates as hanging out with their friends every night. The usual story now is to graduate from college, and then recreate a sort of college dorm with 2 or 3 or more friends in a shared house, an arrangement that will persist for many years, often at the expense of forming meaningful romantic relationships outside. Young people are taught to distrust serious romantic relationships (i.e courtship) - they curtail your fun, they don't last, they'll hurt you. Better to stick with your friends.

The media has strongly pushed the notion that friends are critical, friends will always be there for you, friends must come first - and that it is they who will give you the affirmation and support you need, unlike nasty relationships, which are fickle and unstable.

Look at the sitcom "Friends" - Joey and Chandler, two heterosexual men in their late twenties, live together as a sort of "odd couple", both horrified at the idea of committing to a woman. Rachel and Ross (who is twice-divorced and has a child with a lesbian), have a one-night stand and conceive a child, but nevertheless don't pursue a relationship with each other, and Rachel moves in with a friend.

Monica and Phoebe go on endless strings of "dates" with men who only appear in the show once or twice and are usually depicted as eccentric or strange. When the characters finally do commit to other halves, the show immediately finished its ten-year run. Message? Having friends is fun, interesting, exciting. Settling down is boring, unremarkable and The End.

Then there's "Sex and the City", one of the most vile and destructive examples of social programming ever produced. Its central message is that women's' most important relationships are with other women, and men merely come and go like a pair of last season's shoes.

A whole generation of young women have made the Sex and the City characters their idols, and are now emulating their empty, solipsistic lives - relying on asinine friendships to provide support and affirmation, rather than husbands and children.


It's not just women, though; the New York Times reported recently on a group of bachelors in their late thirties who have eschewed marriage and children, in favor of continuing a long-term arrangement as roommates:

The men are described as having "no children, no linear career histories, no readily disposable savings". They are all heterosexual, approaching 40, never married, and have lived together for 18 years.

Judith Stacey, a sociologist at New York University, is quoted as saying that traditional couples and families carry conflicting "demands and tensions of desire and domesticity," whilst living among friends meant that "the vagaries of sexual attraction don't disrupt your security and stability."

This kind of communal living is especially good for creative types, as "it's an easy way to get support and it's less of a threat to your artistic life."

So, there we have it. Families are a toxic pressure cooker which destroys security, stability and creativity. Spoken like a true Illuminati pioneer.

Clinging on to "best buddies" in this way, throughout late adulthood and beyond, suspends everyone in perpetual adolescence. The natural development of a young adult is to pair-bond and reproduce, thereby taking on real adult responsibilities. But instead, everyone's stuck in the playground.


When I arrived in London at age 24, I lived in a variety of shared houses. There was novelty value at first, but pretty soon it just became an endless repetitive cycle of petty arguments and tedious dramas, without the powerful glue of familial bonds or formal commitments to hold it all together.

Most of my roommates were badly damaged by the culture, and in need of constant counseling and supporting and propping up (usually by a range of powerful pharmaceuticals.) They brought home strange bedmates, took drugs and had abortions, the whole modern shebang. By the time I got to 27, I had had enough. I was sick of being "married" to my roommates' damaged lives. I couldn't quite afford to live on my own, but instead moved in with one other person who hated the house-share culture as much as I did.

These days, of all my friends and acquaintances (ages 25-38), only one is married with a child. Everyone else is living with their friends, and happy to continue this arrangement indefinitely. People are horrified at the thought of children, and mock the concept of marriage, Instead, they simply continue to behave like children themselves.

Of course, partly this is financial; many people in their twenties and thirties have no choice but to share a house as they simply can't afford anything else - or rather, the only other option would be to live with their parents.

This highlights another important anti-family, anti-human trend in our society. In most other cultures, it is normal for adult children to live at home until they get married. But now, there is great stigma and shame attached to adults (especially men) living at home once they have completed their education. Therefore, many people are forced into unhealthy, friend-fixated house-shares, to avoid the stigma of living at home.

 Staying with family would in many cases be the healthier option for young unmarried adults - which is why the Illuminati media works hard to stop it  - See this article from the Guardian. (Although the Guardian has some good journalism, on social issues they are nauseatingly liberal; "Guardian-reader" is quite a popular pejorative among conservatives!)

Despite all the dazzling good press modern friendships get, the reality is that these relationships are superficial and sterile. They revolve around blurry nights out, popular culture, and tedious dramas. They don't go anywhere, they don't elevate the participants to new plains of thought or creative discoveries. They are just there as a salve, a stitch - to hold together the fragile, dysfunctional egos of people too scared and too damaged to grow up.

As this trend becomes ever more pronounced, we are likely to see a  campaign for "urban families rights" recognized by law. Soon, they will want to adopt children. The same logic that has been applied to legitimize homosexual parenting and single mothers will be applied here - "it takes a co-op house to raise a child".

Modern culture teaches young people nothing about family. They probably watched their own fall apart, and so learned that family is transient, temporary, optional. They have not been taught or guided how to grow up, and so they simply do not. While the media rewards them handsomely for this, their own shattered and empty emotional lives tell the real story.

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "Friends - The Latest Substitute for Marriage "

Dan said (August 28, 2012):

And this is how they introduce the new CTV show "The New Normal".

"Bryan (Andrew Rannells) and David (Justin Bartha) are a Beverly Hills couple who have successful careers and a committed and loving partnership. But there is one thing missing - a baby. Just when they think the stars will never align, an extraordinary young woman enters their life. Looking to escape her dead-end life and small-minded grandmother (Ellen Barkin), Goldie (Georgia King), a Midwestern waitress and single mother decides to change everything and move to L.A. with her precocious 8-year-old daughter. Desperate and broke, Goldie quickly becomes the guys’ surrogate and quite possibly the girl of their dreams."

Any comment is useless.


Stephen Coleman said (August 25, 2012):

This article by Alexandra Fox is quite interesting and true. I would like to add that the teenager to 30 generation are in the midst of an epidemic of narcissistic personality disorder. These are the comments I hear from my own college age children of the utter selfishness and disdain this age group demonstrates.

On the other hand, this generation sees no hope.

Unemployment is near 50% for this age group. They see that their fathers were screwed by their mothers and lost all they had in divorces. They see no future, and indeed this generation are not morally fit to continue civilization.

So if there is no hope, no future, and good reasons to never marry, then why not just party your life away. "Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we shall die"- Shakespeare.

You cannot reason with narcissists, its their way or no way and if it is no way, they will make your life hell. I personally see little future for them. I look and hope for real leadership coming forth from the youth of 3rd world nations as I see these youth in closer contact with reality and very motivated to work hard.

There are good youth out there, but they are increasingly in the minority.

Ann said (August 25, 2012):

In response to this response of your article. I, too, can relate to what N is saying. I am 31 years old, female, married, one child. Stay-at-home Mom and have met some of the younger generation and they scare me as well. They do not respond to normal get-the-hint tactics of stay the F away from me. They are dangerous, they will attack and they feel no sense of remorse or responsibility for their own lives or for what they do to other people lives.

As N has considered, I, too, am considering calling the police for harassment. The sense of entitlement, the lack of morals, zero motivation, and a dangerous bunch who will stop at nothing to get what they believe they deserve. Maybe every older generation feels this way about the younger one... Most are from broken homes and live with their Grandparents.

I live in a small northern town where the use of heroin and pain medication runs rampant. One particular female of this generation is 17, does not attend normal school but rather a juvenile out-posting school of which she attends 2-3 days a week (if she was in fact telling the truth).

She feels that since she is 17 and not yet at adult legal age that she can break the law and not be in trouble. Always asking me for money and when I tell her no she flips out and accuses me of being a horrible "friend". She has no idea what kind of person I am. I am not a person to mess with, if you know what I mean. I can handle myself and am not afraid to show it and YET she still acts of it she can do what she wants to me. I simply don't understand it the bravado of such people.

Author (Alexandra Fox) said (August 25, 2012):

I agree there's a strong element of kibbutz-ism to the whole thing. [see comment below] Can you imagine how much the liberal press will love it when the first such household adopts a child? Ye Gods... (Remember that eighties film "Three Men and a Baby"..!)

Bill said (August 25, 2012):

Another thought provoking article about our devolving culture. While I agree that an excellent marriage would be better than living with friends long-term, finding a compatible mate is becoming almost impossible.

Add to that the legal liability that one must assume to get married and it makes no sense to do it. If you are male and have a good income, the laws and divorce industry are all against you.

One call to 911 with a false accusation of rape or violence will land you in jail. Your wife (or girlfriend) has a RIGHT to continue living in the home YOU bought. She will use this threat against you to get her way in the "marriage." Welcome to modern slavery!

I read these kind of articles on a regular basis, but they are always written by frustrated women - urging men to step up and put their neck into the marriage noose. Men are wising up. We would love to "grow up" and assume our place at the HEAD of a healthy family. However, until the laws are changed and the entire culture repudiates Feminism, we refuse to risk our health and wealth on a proposition that is rigged against us.

We value our FREEDOM and will choose SAFETY and FUN. Besides, there are many ways to meet our sexual needs without getting married. As you have said many times: The role of a women in a man's life is highly overrated. Save the males!



Just remember that laws are deliberately skewed against men to undermine marriage and make men come to these conclusions. In a sense, this is giving in. All we need is to find one good person. How hard is that?


JCW said (August 25, 2012):

Miss Fox's perspective is quite interesting. When Israel was founded they tried to establish the Kibbutz as a way of social engineering... In the beginning, there seems to have been thousands of them, now there is only a few. They were a Communist style of living meant to destroy the natural order of family.

This stuff is right out of Plato's book "The Republic." This was written about twenty four hundred years ago, so none of this stuff is new... We must remember he was an initiate in the secret societies of his day. The Kibbutz was killed by the individuals natural order of life. You girls didn't want to mix with young boys as if there was no difference in their bodies, they no longer wanted to shower together as if they were equals without physical differences. Individuals began to see the inequities in compensation. Those who were motivated and driven became tired of covering the slack of those who were not motivated and driven...

Miss Fox makes an interesting claim when she says that it won't be long before we see "Urban family rights." That it will take a co-op to raise a child... Are we seeing the reverse engineering of the Kibbutz on an unsuspecting public who is asleep?

Jim said (August 25, 2012):

Married twice. Three children by my first wife. Will never marry again. Too much energy is spent dealing with the female psyche.

If it weren't for my friends...male friends in particular, I probably would have "ceased to exist." It was my friends who got me through the tough times, not my wives.

N said (August 25, 2012):

I am 32 and living in a shared basement close to the university I am attending. My new roommate is 22 and has been here 2 months. He does not have a father and is a bossy/bully/demanding always asking me for help type. He acts like he is entitled to this help. We have had some nasty, ugly fights. These happen when I tell him no I will not help you. I helped him many times but then got tired of it. He is very nice until he does not get his way. His generation scares me. If there is complete societal break down and people go hungry it is because of his generation (mainly) that I am heavily armed. They do not respond to please leave me alone. I had to caution him the other week that I would phone the police and charge him with harassment.

Clearly I was not designed to live with other males at 32 years old. That was clear to me yesterday and your latest article has made it crystal clear.

Angela said (August 25, 2012):

Thank you publishing, Henry, and for telling it like it is, Alexandria. I have adult children and I thank God they are not caught in this terrible trap.

Anthony seems to be another of those lost and confused souls that Alexandra describes so well. He missed the point completely.

It's “better for the average young person not to be married” because the average young person is not mature. They are not mature because they only care for themselves and for filling their vacuum with fun. In such a condition they can never mature.

“Why would u want to sign away your youth/freedom to another person or kids??” This question speaks volumes. It shows he has a warped view on the Sacrament of Marriage and on the Gift of a Child/Children. He seems to have no understanding that this life is merely a time of preparation and a test to decide where he will spend Eternity. Youth is a very short time in comparison.

“Even in later life marriage ain't all that.....” With 30 years of experience of married life, I can tell you that marriage is a God-made institution which is the ideal and improves over time, if you are prepared to put the effort into it. Marriage is a good, because it is part of God’s plan for humankind.

“Marriage/family involve a lot self-sacrifice” He is spot on here; that is exactly what makes it work. Though he does not know the value self-sacrifice, all healthy people have a healthy respect for it.

Al Thompson said (August 24, 2012):

Alexandra's article is spot on. I'm seeing this a lot in the young people. I was just at the store and a young lady who has two young children, said hello to me and said that her boyfriend is leaving her for another woman. What is sad is that I told them both before to get married and to forget about all of the things other than working and raising a family. They are at the perfect age to put together their family. Her "baby's dad" still comes by to mooch off of her, as she works cleaning hotel rooms. I'm advising this young lady to stop with the sex without marriage. Women should not give it up until they are married. Then, the sex will be in the proper context of natural law and God's commandments. The purpose of sex is to procreate and have children. I wish I had more of them.

And young men should refrain from sex until they are married, and have respect for women who are saving it for their future husband.

Here's something to think about for the young people. Who is going to be around for you when you are old? Friends come and go, but families take care of each other. If you have no children or no family--who is going to care for you when your old? Old age comes fast, and it is nice to have family members along with the friends. However, friends do not produce family members.

Alexandra's article shows the typical death spiral: fornication, homosexuality, drugs, alcohol, abortion, financial instability, failure at home and at work, and living a life with no hope for the future. The joy of the future is looking forward to having children. The new world order thugs have attempted to completely destroy civilization. It is important to start having morals and focusing on building character; keeping God's commandments and abiding in the natural law.

Billy said (August 24, 2012):

We can see the influence of the Zionist agenda in other television shows as well. One good example is 'All In The Family' with the 'closed minded' , hateful (but loveable) Archie Bunker and his subserviant wife Edith. Juxtaposed by the 'hip' and 'cool' liberal daughter Gloria and her husband Mike.

Another example that comes to mind is "Welcome Back Kotter". A good example of the push for multi-culturalism in America. We have the 'cool' Jewish teacher who is just 'one of the guys' and then a varied mix of seemingly lost students of different ethnicities who are learning to 'come together' under the direction of their Jewish teacher.

Anthony said (August 24, 2012):

'm a big fan of yours, your last article on Friends was powerful stuff like always.... but I disagree with you that friends aren't important and marriage is all that.... I think GOOD friends are vitally important though many friendships tend to be superficial. I think it's better for the average young person not to be married. Why would u want to sign away your youth/freedom to another person or kids?? Even in later life marriage ain't all that..... Only women need to worry more about settling down earlier because of their biological clock. Marriage/family involve a lot self-sacrifice and for most people it's better to get married later in life!

Derek said (August 24, 2012):

"Friends are just there as a stop gap, a salve, a stitch - to hold together the fragile, dysfunctional egos of people too scared and too damaged to grow up."

This is so bang on the money its awesome! I deal with men in there 30's on a daily basis who are the living, breathing examples of this statement. I almost spit my coffee out when I read it.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at