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Living in a Car After False DV Charges

August 30, 2010

domestic.gifby Dan Abshear

ATLANTA- A year ago, after 20 years of marriage, my ex-wife falsely accused me of striking her. I didn't touch her. 

As a result of her lie, I have experienced arrest, incarceration, conviction, and loss of freedom. I am penniless and lived in my car for three months. I ate out of trash cans.

I now have temporary accommodation courtesy of a Veteran's Administration program for homeless men. I am 44-years-old.

I had made good money as a pharmaceutical salesman for companies such as Merck, Pfizer and Novartis. But I had been laid off and depressed for a year. 

The night my former wife falsely accused me of violent crimes, she took my daughter and moved in with a girlfriend, who also had falsely accused her own husband a few years ago. I'm convinced they planned this together. 

She filed a restraining order against me and I had two minutes to get out of my home. When I tried to retrieve a pair of shoes from my wife's SUV, I was arrested and spent 41 days in jail. While I was in jail, she sold our $250,000 house and captured all our joint assets. I had paid $30,000 of the down payment for that house.

I've been denied access to my 12-year-old-daughter entirely. The pain of this particular injury is indescribable.

My primary concern is the safety and well-being of my daughter. In fact, men typically do not leave an abusive relationship because they often fear for their children's safety. I raised my daughter. My wife never participated.


Gender biased stereotypes have ultimately placed me at the mercy of our pathetic family law system who absolutely know nothing about me. They do not care to know me.

The following was retrieved from, '50 Domestic Violence Myths':

1. Women are just as likely as men to engage in partner aggression, according to hundreds of studies. Partner violence, if it happens, is often mutual. Self defense accounts for only fifteen percent or so of partner aggression.

2. Less than five percent of domestic violence incidents involve couples in an intact marital relationship, such as mine was. Studies show marriage is clearly the safest partner relationship. In fact, most cases of family conflict do not involve physical violence at all. Mine never did.

3. I have a restraining order against me now. Over 2/3 of restraining orders issued are determined to be either unnecessary or false. Also, these orders do not prevent future violence from happening.

In fact, restraining orders may encourage violence.

Also, if I attempt to reconcile, I will get arrested. If I send my daughter a birthday card, I will be in jail. I've not spoken with or seen my wife or daughter in over two months now. Yet I've been arrested often during this time.

There is overt gender bias in the family law system. For example, if a man kills his wife, he will get about 20 years in prison, as he should. However, if a woman kills her husband, she will get about 5 years in prison.

Also, in divorce court, women are granted sole custody of their children about 65 percent of the time. There is in fact a frightening fatherhood crisis in our country. All modesty aside, as a dad, I completely rock out loud.

I'm a victim of domestic abuse myself. I suffered over a decade of brutal physical and emotional child abuse that you likely do not want to know about. 

Meanwhile, I suggest that others stay out of this system. Resolve your disputes through negotiation. Do not share your dirty laundry with these anti-family law enforcers. Do not fight for your rights in a courtroom. By that time, it is too late.

I'm presently losing this battle, but I continue to stand up after I've been slammed to the ground several times. I'll stand up again.

I'm not angry or hateful about what is happening to me- this surreal nightmare that has manifested into a bizarre reality. I will not lower myself to be this way ever. And I will also never live in fear as a result of what is happening to me. If I do become fearful, I will lose this fight completely. And this is a fight I cannot lose. I love my daughter way too much.

So likely I will be in jail again. This is just a fact about my life now. That's OK, though. Because some battles need to be fought, and the results can lead to suffering.

So I fight.

This article is from Dan's Blog

Dan Abshear <>

Emails you sent to Dan

Related: An Expert Lawyer's Advice to Dan: Flee the Jurisdiction!

 "The Booming Domestic Violence Industry"

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "Living in a Car After False DV Charges "

Mike said (August 31, 2010):

If you were to look back to the 1960's you would notice all this "Women's Liberation Movement" began to fester in the universities. Once it caught on, (at the same time sodomy became legal), we were domed. Society wonders why we have crashed into what we are today? Millions of Black Boys without fathers, women in the media telling other women how bad they have it in their marriages, (Oprah).

For those of us who were brought up with a father who was the Head of the Household, and a Mother who stayed home and cared for the Family, all of what we see today is obvious, NO FAMILY VALUES ANYMORE!

Women out of control, men in the media who buy into this garbage and then there is the problem with Black Youth walking around with their pants down around their knees, ball caps twisted sideways on their heads, girls with their thongs hiked up over their pants and so many pregnant Black teens. I believe this is the result of a plan to destroy the chances we once had to be independent people. Taxed to death to support this crap that has only come about due to the teachings of our Universities.

Patrick said (August 31, 2010):

I also have a 12 year old daughter and I am divorced but with a twist. In my case there was no nasty break up. We just agreed to divorce and we both agreed that we should have equal rights concerning the children.

The most important thing to know is that the restraining order is fiction. I know that this sounds like crazy talk but in order to understand you should watch some videos by Robert Menard that are on youtube. These are Bursting Bubbles of Government Deception and The Magnificent Deception.

Dan should be able to get things straightened out by filing a notice of understanding and claim of right.

To prove to yourself that Menard is correct you should read the 1993 speech by James Traficant in the house of representatives. The government is fake (de facto) and we are being controlled by bankers who are acting as receivers in bankruptcy. All of the statutes apply only to fictional entities called persons.

I show on my site that a person is not a man by pointing to Galatians 2:6 which tells us that God accepts no man's person.

A person is a possession of a man and the Holy Bible tells you so.

I found out about the law quite by accident and I have now spent years researching it. In my divorce papers there is a page to describe the parties, a Plaintiff and a Defendant which are both fictional entities. They changed the date of birth for my fictional party so either I am not divorced or some other man has custody of my children. But the reality is that I am with my children every day, proving that it is all just fiction. We all have rights that are above anything a fictional government says. Fictions can only deal with other fictions and they cannot interfere in our lives. So they trick us by using a name with all capital letters and we think that the are intending their orders for us.

Bob said (August 31, 2010):

Dan's is a tragic story. The suspicion that his wife was influenced by a female friend could well be justified. Women are generally more social with their own gender than men are, and as a consequence are exposed more to the corrupting influence of feminism, which is simply a new variant of tribalism. This is just another prong in the attack on Christianity, for how can you love all other people as yourself if you are dedicated to favouring a specific group while constantly denigrating another?

As for Dan's depression after losing his job, this is a result of living in an economic system that severs us off from our cultural (including technological) heritage. After thousands of years of economic progress, involving the amassing of staggering amounts of knowhow and material capital, a baby born today has no more inherent entitlement to share in the accumulated wealth and productive capacity of his society than one born in earlier, more primitive conditions.

The Rothschilds and their financier subordinates want it so, and have laid an artificial obligation of employment on all regular folk, regardless of advances in techniques of production, so that the monopoly on money creation will effectively preserve their status as masters of the world. If Dan can understand this, then his depression will probably turn into outrage, which is a much more enabling emotion.

Ren said (August 31, 2010):

Us mere males are being shat on full time by every female and have been since Adam gave his rib
to have a naughty now and then.

You know my age and I went through the same thing after 17 years of marriage.

While away slaving my guts out for the family got served with a seperation order and lost family,
property, my clothes and everything I stood up in.
As a prize sucker I tried once more to end up the same PENNYLESS.

We have universities breeding corrupt lawyers for want of a better name.

The whole of the world population has been saddled with myriad of laws created to make sure
that an ordinary person does not know what they talking about.

We also have judiciary who refuse to listen to people other than their own corrupt kind.
In a Family Court you will find that females are usually represented by either full lesbians or rabid childless feminists supported by psychiatrists and psychologists who make a living out of a fraudulent
science. I note that an expert advised "LEAVE"

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at