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Letter to a Dating Site Diva

May 9, 2012

Male Frustration & Rage

Young women auction themselves
 to men with most money.
 They can smell a man who is
 struggling a mile away.

"Matt Johnson" is a 33-year old Los Angeles musician who has a small vintage clothing business.

by Matt Johnson

I wrote to you and about 20 other girls this week; haven't heard back from any of you yet.

I know it's kind of a numbers game but I took the time to write something witty referencing something you said in your profile, but after having tried this online dating thing for a while I'm starting to question whether it proves Stephen Hawking's theory on black holes.

Because that's where all my thoughtful e-mails seem to be going, right into a black hole never to be seen or heard from again. So just give me the Nobel Prize already because there doesn't seem to be much more coming my way right now.

I'm lonely, disillusioned, and I haven't had sex in months. I know I'm a bit overweight right now but the last few years have been tough.

I opened a new business right when the economy decided to tank and frankly it might not have been the right industry.

Well guess what? You're really not all that youself. You are a shell, a fraud.

You do put on a great show though, what with all that sexy, empowering clothing gay male fashion designers and drug-addicted female celebrities convince you to wear, but deep down behind the high quality photos some schmuck male professional photographer took of you for free, you're at best a naïve innocent riding the wave of power your body affords, but at worst (and more likely) you're a petty, opportunistic, short-sighted and self-serving leech.

You may not consciously realize this--it may simply be your DNA channeled culturally--but the whole purpose of your existence is to ensnare a good-willed male into a binding lifelong contract to pay for your whimsical spending, your therapy, your cosmetic surgeries, and, after you cheat and decide to leave him, your alimony and child support.

Because we can't separate kids from their moms! No, not even if these moms are addicted to prescription pills and the dads' only crime is to be out there busting their asses paying the bills.

But let me get back to this trap your tight little body lays out for us men. When we see you--fresh, young, beautiful--our mind envisions all the fairy tales our parents and preschool teachers read to us of princesses and damsels in distress, and of gallant young princes rushing in to save them from some awful monster, then living happily ever after.

That is, assuming you princesses can keep your mouths shut about the abortion you had awhile back, or about those three-month trips to Belize where you "didn't do much," or the trashy stories behind those generic, fading tattoos you have in all the stereotypical places.

And yet despite all this, a man's blind will remains strong. We will overlook your past and its ruinous consequences because when the fairy tale readings ended they simply gave way to more subtle but equally pervasive assaults on our psyches.

So why the hell am I even on this damn dating website in the first place? It seems as if every one of you women will only serve to enslave, bankrupt, and humiliate me in the process.

 Do I need to rent a helicopter and fly over the fields of Romania looking for a good innocent farm girl? Should I petition a local convent to release one of their young nuns into my custody on the grounds that there are no other worthwhile women today?

Bleak options indeed. But when you have a culture of women who were "empowered" from the early days of elementary school, who were encouraged to be just like men, and who as adults compete with us then come home with the same stresses and frustrations that come along with working, this does not make for happy, healthy couples.


Which brings us to the, ahem, climax, when your biological clock approaches zero hour and howls that it's finally time to start a family. But guess what, your eggs are too old! And probably toxic to boot. But not to worry, let's go get hormone therapy so you can have twins, triplets, or quadruplets--that's right, four new babies at the same time that you don't have the money or energy to take care of!

Meanwhile if you'd walked away from the Poker Table of Fun just a few years earlier you could have spaced out your family nicely, but no, all the free drinks, all those trips paid for by boyfriends, all that non-profit work you could survive on since you never had to pay for anything, twenty years of reaping the benefits of being attractive and you never even sensed when it was time to stop taking and start giving.

Only when nature forced your hand did you "feel ready" to have kids and shifted into that mode, all the while maintaining that air of entitlement that previously saw you gallivanting across men's lives like a drunkard trampling a beautiful flower bed, and now with these four crying and pooping infants as ammunition you've got your husband's balls on the chopping block.

So it's off to Sears and Best Buy and Babies R Us, you're gonna use these four helpless little souls to grind him down into a lobotomized non-entity whose only hope is that in twenty years he may still have a pilot light on deep down in his soul that remembers whatever dream it was he had of achieving in life.

So you know what, I think I'll take down my profile actually. It's been nice getting to know each other but the more I think about it, we must not be a perfect match. But good luck on your search though, I'm sure the right one's out there!

Makow Comment-

If it weren't for sex, men would have nothing to do with
the majority of young women today. Thus young men like Matt are in the humiliating position of being rejected by women they don't even like.

Heterosexual relationships have been deliberately destabilized by "empowering" women. Power is a masculine trait. (Women want it but in a man.) When women have it, they mutate and become sexless.

My advice to men like Matt is to AVOID the 85% of women who have imbibed the feminist poison and focus on the remaining 15% who want the man to be the boss.  Of course, men have to earn and keep this trust.  

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "Letter to a Dating Site Diva "

Michael said (May 11, 2012):

ey Henry,

Great stuff !.

I gotta say, the Internet's Online Dating is JUST ANOTHER way for Women to MAKE A FUSS.

Dating sites are just amore intimate way for WOMEN to make a fuss,like they do on myspace....with their 3,000+ close "Friends" [just because they show a little cleavage].

Women are by nature...addicted to "fuss". But ONLY if it is over THEM. This goes to almost PSYCHOTIC LEVELS of indifference if challenged. I have been LUCKY ENOUGH to have refused a few girls "sex"...and the LOOK ON THEIR FACES. Priceless if they weren't so "scary" ! [Worse than than woman scorned thing...this is a woman REFUSED her biggest FUSS MAKING MACHINE.]

Last few girlfriends I managed to get...[a few years ago now]... Just had me doing all the running,making me jump through hoops...or they'd make my life a misery.And I'd have to start this circus all over again [after spending out again] trying to find someone.

It is completely insane out there.

NONE of these women offer, to offer anything but their "sexuality" did all my Ex's who ALL had [by some secret agreement it seems] dropped their drawers,to smooth over ANY arguments THEY had caused. [more drama & fuss] Like a demented viscious cycle.

Today I just gave up "Online", put it STRAIGHT to women...and got told I sound ANGRY. Well,...we men finally ARE.


Doug said (May 11, 2012):

Carissa nailed it.

I'm 47 years old, not really looking. I met a beautiful, intelligent, sweet 27 year old. Because she is 27 all I want is friendship. I have to believe I am good for the other person and I can't be for someone that young, at least not over the long term.

She is having some guy trouble and frustrated about it. I tell her what Carissa said. There are lots of great women out there but you have to follow Carissa's advice to find them. This girl I know goes to all the wrong places and I think people get a false impression of her and she is stuck in the rut because of it.

The same thing must happen in reverse.

Serena said (May 10, 2012):

Matt here, frustrated and dejected believes the hype is genuinely from 'real' women; somewhere virtual composites are acting out those deep insecurities, need for love and recognition that make men and wombmen 'slaves of love'. It is slavespeak echoed everywhere that 'if it weren't for sex' wombmen would have no value to men. Well, the sodomitic pederastic cabal driving media, figured that out a long time ago and pander to these delusions. \

When men don't get their way, they lash out at the object of their frustrated desires which is typically jew-vain-ial behavour. We are all in this hall of mirrors, this circus freaks how together but as men run that show (anyone arguing otherwise are blinded) they cannot blame the women being presented from sick psycho male minds.

Where are the adult men who are supposed to protect women and children from this psychic rape?

Carissa said (May 10, 2012):

If I was one of the women he didn't hear back from and I saw that open letter and how he really felt I'd consider it as having "dodged a bullet." Big time. If that's how he really feels about apparently all women then why the heck is he trolling around on dating sites looking to connect with them? I've met guys in my time who tipped off my spidey-sense as it's called, where I was picking up that something was wrong and off about them, so I kept my distance.

And sure enough, the second the interaction didn't go the way they wanted they lashed out at me in a nasty way, revealing their true colors underneath. What these types failed to understand was that they were only proving how right I was with my intuition to stay away from them.

I get that "Matt" is lonely, hasn't had sex in months as he says, and that his business venture is failing and life isn't working out the way he wanted. But it's how he chooses to respond to life's so-called set backs that reveal his true character.

Your site seems to attract a lot of bitter Barneys who choose to deal with life's obstacles by whining like children, throwing tantrums and hurling insults. Common sense says you don't meet a high quality partner, male or female, on a meat market dating site. You meet high quality people by living a high quality life.

Getting out there and getting engaged in life, pursuing hobbies and interests and joining groups that reflect one's interests and which will put one in touch with other like-minded people. By being an interesting, high quality person one then puts themselves in the path of other interesting, high quality people. It's as simple as that.

Angela said (May 10, 2012):

As a woman I can feel little sympathy for Matt Johnson. He’s one of those men who expect virtue in a woman but are anything but virtuous themselves (I'm lonely, disillusioned, and I haven't had sex in months.)

He sounds a nasty piece of work. (That is, assuming you princesses can keep your mouths shut about the abortion you had awhile back). These princesses don’t become pregnant without the assistance of the likes of him, whose desire is to fornicate at will.

So what it comes down to is this: he is looking for sex in all the wrong places. Stop looking for sex and start looking to improve yourself to make yourself more attractive to women.

Listen to Al Thompson. He’s got it right.

Amber said (May 10, 2012):

ts been many years that I have first discovered your brilliant site. And its wonderful to see you are still going strong!

I first wrote to you near 10 years ago, describing my plight in finding a man after growing up in a society that sent me every wrong message possible! Well I am very glad to say that I found my true love and we are now engaged to get married. Funnily enough we had both reached a point in our lives we’re after SO much blood sweat and tears from the awful dating scene we were both ready to call it quits and stay single till the grave!

But Im very glad to say that true love still very much exists and when we met, we both knew right away we’d found our “other half”

My fiancé is a born and bred Canadian, and I am from New Zealand, I moved to Canada to be with him last year, and one thing that has really blown me away has been how Women here have a very bizarre “entitlement mentality” …At first I couldn't understand why my Husband to be, (who is a real catch if I do say so myself!) was single. He told me it was because he was sick of North American Women as they behaved like “spoiled princesses “ I found this a bit confusing, until I came here and saw how Women treat their Men!

Now Im just continuously shocked! And often left wondering how things got to the point where Women are taking on not only the masculine role, but the spoiled, money/possession hungry brat role too!

My fiancé says that if he knew then what he knew know he would have made sure he Married a Filipino or New Zealand Woman years ago and saved himself a lot of grief! As it seems more and more of his friends are now doing! He says Women from said countries still know the role a woman should take in a marriage, and really just as a woman in itself!…Now once if someone had said that to me about New Zealand women I wouldn't have known what they were talking about! But after seeing the way women here seem to endlessly play the “You owe me because I have a vagina”!!! role I can understand!

I try to tell family and friends back in New Zealand about this and they are just left scratching their head. Because frankly if a woman carried on in the same fashion there they'd NEVER get a man!

Erik said (May 10, 2012):

I am a young 23 year old white male.

I have read your site now for several years. Your wisdom has saved this male. I went from being an oppressed drug addicted beta male, to a fit successful, positive, spiritual, alpha male.

I would like to respond to Matt's message by saying, he has to take responsibility for his own happiness, alphaness and mental state. The road is rough on the bottom, but the light is bright at the end of the tunnel.

Start working, eating healthy, boxing, football, MMA, running, weightlifting, whatever it takes to raise your own testosterone. Listen to your own body, don't masturbate. Don't be the weak beta that is forced to beg for sex. Don't put up with girls illusions. They are stuck-up princess's that have lost their way. The end will come for them brutally.

He needs to realize that you will have to go without sex for a while, until you can better yourself. Make yourself the prize that women cant get enough of. Once you do that, you will become a superstar to women, with more girlfriends then you can handle.

I would also like to comment on Internet dating. I personally love it. While I have saved myself the frustration of getting seriously romantically involved, it is a great way to meet girls. My fit body is a walking advertisement. My dating accounts are nets in the ocean, I get to pick and choose, when it gets too full i have to let some go. Not every girl is a tainted fish. I am simply too busy on my career to think about a relationship,

I don't mind a casual fling. That is all North American feminist women are good for.

Game theory states 1% of the male population gets 95% of the sex. You wont realize that statistic until you become the Alpha male.

L said (May 10, 2012):

My heart just grieves for Matt in the article, "Letter to a dating site Diva".

Dearest Matt!

I 'm sure I could be your mother and I just want to hug you and cry... I grew up in the 60's and 70's and went through all the social engineering that I feel ruined my own chances for a happy relationship with a man.

I've had two marriages and one child and quite frankly, I am miserable!

My son now needs a strong male influence. I have done what I could ,but as a woman, I cannot teach him how to be a man.

He is now 14 and the indoctrination he is receiving in school, about women, and relationships and sex... It horrifies me!

Reading your article made me feel so sad, so sad.

I can relate to all that you said dear Matt, women have been duped and tricked and they really don't even know what they are doing. They DON'T!

We have all been tricked by the Illuminati/cabal controlled messages. I certainly was.

From a very early age, I decided I was going to "do it on my own and I did not need a man". I wanted glamor and success!

Well, I did have some degree of glamour and success. Did it fulfill me? NO!

I was a fool. God bless you Matt.

It's not too late. There are some good women out there and I hope that a special one finds you.

Adrian said (May 10, 2012):

Males pay a fee to make contact, so I believe the tips below are fair.

1.Immediately switch off your profile to avoid unsolicited contact. Only contact women of your choice.
2.Reject the following profiles:

-Any containing sexy photographs. (Before I met my wife, I had only seen her face in a photo)
-Those without some indication of an honorable activity in life.
-Women with more than two children (too much work in a young relationship, be realistic)
-Women with children over the age of six (personalities essentially formed already).
-Women living in a country that for political or geographic reasons is unworkable, should you decide to move there.
-Women who do not volunteer their support for no sex before marriage.
-Women without a traditional family upbringing.
-Women with no religious upbringing.

3.Dialog by text and video conference until you are sure with your head about the person.

A women's interest in your ability to materially support her and a family is natural, but it should not be a dominant factor.

Vivian said (May 10, 2012):

Matt Johnson, get a life, my God. You took the time out and wrote a letter to a dating site expressing a long series of complaints like this person/entity is supposed to care.
That act in and of itself(not withstanding your content) sounds so - girly.

I have some advice, start caring for the man in the mirror.

You know I don't like the kind of women you describe. My true female friends in life fit on my hand and I still have fingers left. Perfect people that will never hurt you a hard lot to find, in both sexes. I have been screwed over and loved(not lovers) by many.

If I were you, as my father used to say: Buck Up Soldier, do manly things, be around positive male role models. You're single, young and in the prime of your life, you shouldn't be looking for anything let alone a woman to complete you. You have it all right now. Cultivate it, lose some weight, get strong and save your business or start another. Sounds like you have your plate full already. Success begets other successes, I bet if you go forth and lead your life with confidence Miss Right will show up when you are ready.

Derek said (May 9, 2012):

I know exactly what Mat is saying. I spent years on dating sites ( etc I did get a lot of dates... that wasn't a problem but you start to notice that many of the girls are permanent residents.

The funniest experience I ever had was a girl calling me after we had messaged a few times. After the intense job interview style conversation she told me my answers were not to her liking... The main reason was that she is an environmentalist and I drive a car. The second reason was that I smoke sometimes.... I pointed out that her profile also says she smokes occasionally.... She hung up on me.

Andrew said (May 9, 2012):

I agree with Al [below] 100% (25 year old male here).

Also, in my experience online dating doesn't work. People lie about themselves and the women that I would consider attractive use the sites as a tool for inflating their own egos. You're better off going out in public and just winging it.

Al Thompson said (May 9, 2012):

Being single after 32 years of marriage put me in a very interest position. I used the dating services back around 2004, and most women are materialistic. I dated for a short time and it was almost the same merry-go-round as a marriage to American women. I see a lot of young people avoiding marriage because they are scared shitless of what could happen to them later in their marriage. Many worry about the consequences of divorce and reckless spending. I've had two friends from high school lose their wives to other women! Talk about a put down. Who needs that?

If I had it all over to do again, I would not even think about fornicating and I would only want a woman who has never been with another man unless she is a widow. Fornication wrecks a relationship between men and women who are not married. If a woman is interested in me, I tell her that I won't get involved in any sexual activity until we are married. It sounds weird coming from a guy, but that's the only way I can preserve my mind. So, if I go out with a woman the pressure is off of both of us, and we can get to know each other without the pressure of having unlawful sex. I think God knew what he was doing when he came up with the commandment against adultery. Fornication seems to transgress the natural law; we are not animals or "human".

I might suggest that when young people date, that they hold back on the sex until they are a married couple (man and woman). The dating part should go much easier and it will keep out most of the evil that comes with fornication. I hate to say it, but I learned this lesson the hard way.
Nothing good ever came from fornication.

I used to be a musician in LA and that's all we did was fornicate. Fornication was a part of the culture. Matt is playing the same game I did, and he's getting about the same results. Morals are there for a specific purpose because they produce a better life than the other.

While I may sound like a prude, the fact of the matter is that sexual promiscuity produces failure in relationships. And as I watch the local young people proceed in their relationships, it clearly shows that the old morals and commandments were there for a purpose of achieving happy relationships, lots of children, stable marriages, and grandchildren. Remember, the primary reason for sex is to produce babies. While sex can be a lot of fun with lots of pleasure, if it is performed outside of the context of a lawful marriage, the relationship will probably fail.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at