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The Biggest Mistake Men Make

August 13, 2008


By Henry Makow Ph.D.

(Note: This is from last Nov. It may be of value to single men and women who are frustrated or confused, or people unhappily married.  It doesn't apply to those who already have successful marriages.)

The biggest mistake a man can make is to put a woman on a pedestal and give her power over him.

Men no less than women are suckers for romance and sex. Romantic love is the ersatz religion of our neo-pagan era, a form of idolatry based on sexual infatuation. But no one is worthy of adoration. No one is perfect. 

A man might benefit by regarding a woman as a means to an end rather than an end in herself. A man needs a woman to create a home and family, for companionship, sex, emotional and practical support, intimacy and you name it.

A "means to an end" may sound harsh to some. But in fact, nature designed women to make things happen. Mainly babies. A girlfriend once said, "I want to be used."

A man might think of a wife as a race driver thinks of his car, a cowboy his horse, a shepherd his dog, or a carpenter his tools. Men treasure what belongs to them, serves them well, and are true.

A woman expresses her love by her devotion to husband and children. She is loved for what she does, not for her sex appeal. Women (and men) earn love by their deeds. This is the only permanent love worthy of respect.

The romantic model of male-female love, based on lust and idealization of beauty, does not work. A man who "looks up" to a woman is destined to remain a child. "I married Mommy."

On the other hand, a woman wants to look up to her husband.

The feminist idea that women are "strong, creative, independent" persons loved for their repartee, talent and sex appeal also doesn't work.  People get bored and move on.

For a man to provide leadership is masculine; for a woman to accept that leadership is feminine. Of course, a man is going to consult his wife because he wants to make her happy. 

Beauty is skin deep. There is no correlation between beauty and intelligence or character.  Women have used sex to control men from time immemorial but they want men they can't control

A man might also abandon the notion that there is only one special woman for him. There are many women who will fit the bill. Finally, a man should not expect his lover or wife to think like him. These men are looking for themselves.

As long as there is general agreement on principles, he should respect and love her individuality.


Women are human beings worthy of the same dignity, respect and fulfillment as men.
I'm addressing the way men might really love, and how many women might really want to be loved.

Women are designed by nature to implement a man's vision and to be cherished for it. When a woman loves a man, often she wants to bear his children.

Sex is the symbol of a permanent relationship. No matter what "liberated" people say, sex is an act of possession and should be exclusive. We are all really looking for the intimacy trust and security that comes from a lifelong commitment. This implies monogamy.

If you think this model of marriage is suspiciously like the old fashioned one, you are right. There was nothing wrong with it. It has been maligned and undermined by a sophisticated propaganda campaign designed to turn us into hetero-homosexuals, incapable of bonding with the opposite sex and having families.

The result is a growing population of isolated individuals who use promiscuity to assuage their loneliness. These people are easily controlled. See Aldous Huxley's prophetic novel, "Brave New World." 

Women empower men by accepting their leadership. They emasculate them by challenging and criticizing them. This is the agenda of the kabalistic central bankers who control the mass media, education and government. 


There has never been a war of aggression that hasn't been disguised as a war of defense. The war against heterosexual society (gender, marriage, family) is no exception, masquerading as the defense of women's and homosexual rights. 

Our identity is based on gender. We develop in terms of our family roles as husbands and fathers, wives and mothers, sisters and brothers. An attack on gender is an attack on our identity. 

Feminism tells women that marriage and family are instruments of oppression, and urges them to usurp the male role and abandon the feminine one. We also see this attack in the promotion of homosexuality/ gay marriage, in demands for genderless bathrooms, and birth control and sex vaccines for children. 

Sexual promiscuity (a.k.a, the sexual revolution) is part of this attack. Promiscuous people are less able to form permanent marriages and stable families. Men who can get sex easily are less likely to marry. 

What we are told is "progress" is really "progressive"only if you are a satanist. 

In "Satan: Prince of this World" William Guy Carr wrote: "Satanists have always used sex bribery and the depravities and perversions of sex to obtain control of men and women they wished to use to further their diabolical conspiracy. Satanism makes a God of sex." (p. 37) 

Pornography is used in war to undermine an enemy population by destroying family and morale. The Nazis spread porn in occupied Poland; the Israelis in the West Bank; the Americans in Iraq. We are drowning in a cesspool of porn and filth. 


Women haven't twigged to how self-destructive feminism and "sexual liberation" are. Young women are no longer valued as potential wives and mothers, but by how "hot" they are. They are pressured to have sex because other women will, and it is the only way to get male attention. There is nothing more demeaning to women (and men) than casual sex. 

No wonder women suffer from low self-esteem. They want to be used for a higher purpose: as lovers, wives and mothers. They must demand evidence of love (patient courtship and marriage.) Otherwise they will be used and tossed away. 

The separation of sex from love and procreation is degrading. It makes us view people as objects. It is the source of virtually all sexual perversion. 

Sex, the ritual of marriage and procreation, creates a powerful bond between a man and a woman. It is a perversion to use it as diversion and entertainment.

In conclusion, it doesn't matter how beautiful or smart or witty a woman is if she doesn't want to please you. The first question you should ask is, will she do what you want? The second, can she?

We can fight the New World Order by restricting sex to courtship, love, marriage and procreation. We can resist the allure of sex by thinking in these terms. Women have been turned into sex objects in order to homo-sexualize us. If we turn them back into human beings, we will stop seeing them as in crude sexual terms.

We can fight the New World Order by upholding the traditional heterosexual family.


Just in from the British Brainwashing Corporation: Orgasms Prevent Wrinkles

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "The Biggest Mistake Men Make"

Joe said (August 16, 2008):

Henry: I've just finished reading "the biggest mistake men make". May I suggest a series of lectures on the marriage contract. The lack of knowledge between a state contract vs private contract has been a means to forge the chains of enslavement.If you will go to this url >


Earl said (August 15, 2008):

Dear Henry,

Please bear in mind that relatively-easily-available sex isn't the only thing that keeps men shunning marriage. The other equally important reason is men's fear of getting raped in female-centered divorce courts.

R said (November 8, 2007):

read a lot of your articles and unfortunately I have to say I can relate to many of the stuff you written. I'm a 21 year guy who is anxious because of the many wrongs that I think are going on nowadays. I don't know If I could ever marry any woman because I distrust most of them. I mean, COMMON! You got these 13 year old and 14 year old girls having sex already! I know mostly do it for social status or peer pressure, but, could I ever find it in my heart to trust someone who started having sex at that age to be faithful to me in a relationship? No wonder paternity test are so hot today! Then you got these people at schools giving you condoms, instead of encouraging you to wait for the right person for you to have for sex with. No, we are supposed to be players and fuck with any piece of meat out there. Nowadays it obsolete to be a virgin. People make fun of you if you are and some find it ridiculous if you're hoping for your future life partner to be it too. I feel that is going to be so hard to find a good feminine woman and to hold on sex until then with all this pornography going around. I myself admit that I was introduced to pornography since I was 10 and I feel sick about it! I'm addicted to it and don't know what to do! Seriously man, I think we as a society are going through the same perversions the Roman Empire did (with all this homosexuality and all), and since history has a knack for repeating itself, I think that we as a society are destined to fall just like the Romans did. So, should I get married and have children when I feel less hope for a brighter future as days go by? When I myself have been corrupted with pornography? All I can say is, so help us God.

Margaret said (November 8, 2007):

I live in a small island in Spain and have watched a transition over the last 12 years. I consider this island to be a small world that reflects a wider picture. The island, when we first arrived, was a productive place; it had a structure, a culture and lots of potential.

This was an ideal place to bring up a family and run a small business, a sort of innocent time. But over the last five or so years the situation has slowly changed. How did this happen? Was this our fault? Or have we been driven to self-destruct. I think a bit of both.

Our young are now more and more subjected to drugs and alcohol, plus, we have explicit leaflets put on our cars daily advertising the numerous brothels that frequent every local area.

Our children see these very detailed photos everyday and no longer even bat an eyelid. Increasingly I see the majority of my young son’s friends he grew up with, turn to heavy drinking or drugs with no possibility of holding down a regular job and not a girlfriend/boyfriend insight.

Where will they find comfort as they move into their 20s? it’s not hard to predict. I fear that young people can no longer communicate with any self respecting peer that they may cross their path. Councils have been lured by the profits of these degrading businesses. I don’t thing they have empathy for the people. These same councils now relay on crude activities for their wealth, easy to see when you live on a small island. They have been too easily corrupted and so have we.

Traditional families are disappearing. Regular businesses are failing as productive activity is slipping away from us. People are relaying more and more on the social system, are becoming sicker and the high schools are losing to apathy.

The island is bombarded with drink, drugs, mafia, corruption and human trafficking. The police are becoming increasing more intimidating to regular people, they are losing respect for us and we them. This is a small island, how can we as islanders recover if we cannot get a grip and take back control. Is this what is slowly creeping into the World? Be warned, it ain´t nice.

Bart said (November 8, 2007):

I'm single myself, practice celibacy (refraining from unmarried sex), and struggle with fighting lust, as most young men do. After reading your article though, I was reminded how important it is to uphold and respect the proper relationships with both ourselves and the opposite sex, that doing otherwise leads us down the "road often travelled" of self-destruction. Living in a society that is so warped, it's easy to lose focus of these most important rules of proper human behavior and flow along with the tide of degeneracy.

Michael said (November 7, 2007):

Dear Henry, Recently I met a woman who upon meeting me touched my hand. I later reciprocated, holding her hand and hugging her with her permission. I also kissed her hands. I understand that higher culture derives from self-restraint, but what I now know about myself is that I all too easily become sexually deprived! When I essentially worshiped that woman, I felt more whole than I ever recall feeling. Maybe I am blinded? Women, as mothers at least, are like God - they are the origin of our existence. Faults included, women are divine. My feeling whole with that woman did not last, but it is a feeling I could make a lifestyle pursuing. The feeling seems to last just long enough. I very much agree that women are a means to an end. However, so are men. Very importantly, every means is also itself an end. That includes sex and women. What I see as most important is giving women what they need. Women these days respond positively to being worshiped - at least by appearances.

Dear Michael,

My point is that it is adolescent to worship women as though they were divine, and while they are flattered for a while, ultimately they weary of it, and you.

Best wishes


Jason from Laguna Beach said (November 7, 2007):

hello Dr. Makow,
wow! the article you wrote about mistakes men make really hits home for me doctor. i treat women very well. perhaps too well...
i am 24 yrs old and i live by the ocean near Laguna Beach, CA -needless to say: promiscuity runs rampant and devotion and the deep bonds that accompany it are endangered to say the least.

Women here want guys that have tattoos, piercings and a long list of ex-girlfriends who they both hate and are hated by. As such i'm not exactly on the most eligible bachelor list despite my 6' tall
muscular physique, six figure income, stellar manners and good looks. i have "been" with only two women in my whole life and it looks as though things will remain that way for the foreseeable
future. and not because of lack of interest - but because women where i live have no interest whatsoever in establishing a solid,
meaningful relationship that could oneday lead to a lasting and fulfilling marriage. They've been conditioned to believe that casual sex is the way to go and they dream only of having a good job in
the future to break free of the bonds that a providing husband seems to equate with by their reckoning.

As such: i am left alone with so much to offer and i can't help, at times, but feel a tad bit
disillusioned with the prospect of dating a socially engineered female rather than a moral and respectable woman. it seems as though i am alone in these sentiments and i am often ridiculed
for possessing such a mindset. The fact that most women in the area i live are looking for guys who wear tight pants and act metro-sexual probably doesn't help either being that i lift weights
and wear normal (semi-baggy) pants and t-shirts.

Perhaps you would consider a follow-up article relaying any advice you have about what can be done about this tragic situation faced
by young guys like me? anything would be appreciated! thank you and i appreciate what you do. i've read your materials for
quite some time but with this article i felt the urge to write you and ask that you continue discussing this topic!

The first step is to tune out all the mutant females around you. Ideally I would move to a part of the country that is less superficial. The Internet affords many opportunities to meet women nation and worldwide who have not been socially engineered and still are in their natural state.
Don't despair. You only need to find one!


Robert said (November 7, 2007):

"A man might think of a wife as a race driver thinks of his car, a cowboy his horse, a shepherd his dog, or a carpenter his tools. Men treasure the things that belong to them, serve them well, and are true."

Whan an idiot comment. I would think maybe an equal partner would be a much better way to think of your mate.


If you have found happiness with your mindset, I salute you. I say equal in terms of human dignity and respect but equal in terms of power is a prescription for chaos. Heterosexual union is an exchange of female power for male love. Women have to give men the power to love them. See my book at,


Michael said (November 7, 2007):

I have been divorced for over 4 years. I have obviously struggled with bouts of loneliness. I have dated a few women in this time period, but I made the mistake of putting these women (very attractive and 10 years younger) on a pedestal and giving my power over to them. I gave my power to them by being at their beck-n-call and doing whatever they wanted to do. I even gave up time with my own daughter to try and please them. However, these relationships disintegrated once they became intimate.

This article makes a lot of sense to me. I need to re-align my thoughts and actions more towards the nature of a true man. Thanks again!

Beno said (November 7, 2007):

Yes, Dr. Makow, you're right. The Illuminati have targeted the destruction of moral values. Indeed, it's their prime target. An immoral people is easily controlled by money, sex, etc. Think back to ancient civilizations, built around religions which in turn were built around religious leaders. Think of ancient India, built around Hinduism, built around Rama and then Krishna. We have fallen so far, far down since then.

I became celibate over 3 years ago. The drama is over for me. Much easier this way, despite appearances. And it's now much easier to live a moral, healthy life.

Barry said (November 7, 2007):

A friend of mine put it to me this way:

Men use power to get sex; Women use sex to get power.

Ponder this for a while, and you will come up with
many historical examples. Bill Clinton and Monica
Lewinsky come to mind immediately.

Jen said (November 7, 2007):

I couldn't agree with you more about the traditional courtship, mating, and family ideals you wrote about in this article. Although I always was a traditionalist and knew that there was something amiss about the whole feminist agenda; I am a 36 year old female who has never married or had children. I wanted to but every guy that I went out with wanted no part
of marriage and only wanted sex. When I didn't put out I never heard from them again. It's really terrible out here Henry for men and women who believe in traditional gender roles and want to find a mate.

I see other women who are rolling their children in their baby carts talking about their husbands and I feel a pain in my heart that I don't have a husband or children. I think about growing old alone and that is my biggest fear. I never gave my parents any grandchildren and I feel regret about that. I feel that my genetic line will die with me.

Maybe you could start a Savethemales dating service where like minded men and women could find each other? What do you say eh? Thanks for your time.

Tony said (November 7, 2007):

I agree with all in your latest article save your remark that women are equal to men as human beings. That I see as true only if you add
"before God," meaning in His judgment of human motives and actions.

Men and women are just too different, with radically different roles in life, to even allow such a comparison as the concept of "equal" demands.

At the establishment of the U.S. all were to be equal only before the law - and there is legitimate question as to whether or not that concept was even intended to include women. It did not include slaves. For certain, there is no such equality today as women are practically exempt from law in the northern Western Hemisphere. Right order turned on its head.

For Christians, Adam was given Eve as a help to him, not as an independent person to do as she would on her own. She was "flesh of his
flesh," created from Adam's body, a projection from him, not independent of him at all. As soon as she deserted that role to make her own
decision she was easily seduced by the devil and thus doomed mankind to misery on earth.

Whether that story is literal or figurative, it should be obvious, at least to Christians, that women were meant to be under the dominion of
their men. Equality, as we understand equality, doesn't enter into it. Men were expected to be considerate of their wives, with good treatment
of them. The implication being that men have a choice. Women, on the other hand, were to love and obey their husbands. These are not demands
upon equals.

Marriage is not a binding of equals. Attempting that is a guarantee of a miserable life for both. It is not natural for equals to coexist.
One must lead, the other follow. Nature simply will not be otherwise.

Women out of place forever prove that they are not geared to do what is right and proper beyond what they were created to be. In their proper
place, as help to their men, they are a blessing above blessings. Beyond that they destroy any chance for their own or their men's happiness in this world, not to mention that of children.

Prime example of the differences: I remember mentioning to my wife that I never know what women want. She replied, "How could you? Women don't know what they want."

Men do.

Richard said (November 6, 2007):

Another example of your tremendous work. No one says it better.

I suspose all we can do then, for most of us to resist the illuminati, is to do our best to uphold traditional values. I believe a lot of what you are saying. The past wasn't always so great either and there were men who did abuse their women. Over all though, I support what you are writing about. The past wasn't perfect but at least people were more comfortable with their future. Unlike now.

Though it appears that Canada is headed for a secure economic future, socially we have very little. Who would our economic future truly serve?

Should we have a revolution or a Ghandi style passive resistance to the illuminati? In other words, resist by living a traditional lifestyle so the illuminati feel as though everything they tried to do was in vain.

I would think that just talking things up may create undercurrents but how effective can this really be? Anyway, great work!!! I applaud your articles.

What can really be done, Henry?



Traditional mores are worthwhile not because they are traditional but because they reflect our real nature and therefore they work.

For all their propaganda, the illuminati can't stop us from growing healthy, happy and strong. Our example will draw people and force the Illuminati to change their tactics.

The important thing is that we won't be victims of their social engineering. We will have the opportunity to build on solid foundations.


Grant said (November 6, 2007):

I just finished reading your book Cruel Hoax and to say the least I learned a lot. I am a 22 year old male living in Los Angeles, Ca .. I used to watch a lot of tv and in a subconscious way the information given had become my gathered knowledge (unfortunately). I personally like to read and have you suggest some books or articles on how to be a strong man. I have strong feeling
that most young males of my age need a strong direction to be strong men for the future and their families. Reading your book I have
changed a lot of my perspectives and most of my intuitions on masculinity are coming back. The small problem of knowing this great knowledge is that you start to notice how people act and think
whereever you go. Nevertheless, I like to thank you for you courage and strength.

A small poem I wrote after reading your book (I am not a poet)

We live in a kind of world thats hard to breathe in.
Let alone put a precious seed in.
Were controlled like little puppets and we dont even know it.
Our life shaped like how they really want it.
And you'll never know because you think your living the truth.
You try to find truth and honesty in the most planned and corrupt schemes.
You are the son of the chosen one you will follow his guidance.
He has given you the truth thats why you are living so good (sarcasm)
You put things together you build that holy truth.
But it will be too late to find out that you are the adopted son of lucifer and he was using you!

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at