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Where Have all the Real Men Gone?

May 12, 2011

smith.jpgMaureen (left)

"I've been a mother for 16 a single one....struggling like everyone to keep from going completely under. Have been a massage therapist since 92.......My son is 16 and my daughter is 11. I 'm quite upset about the change that's been brought from feminism. We women CANNOT be everything.......I am instinctively a nurturer, trying to play two roles as a mother is impossible to do."

by Maureen Smith

I for one would like to know just where the real men went?

Now, you might look around and say they haven't gone anywhere! Bull, I'm talking about real men. Men with integrity.  Nobody wants to stand for anything! Not for their God! Not for their God-given rights! Not for their Families! Not for Love!

What happened to the instinct to protect families and loved ones? I see energy going into trivial pursuits...sports....drugs....sexual conquests......competition over the superficial.  I see the world crumbling around us and ask why no one cares enough to consider where all of this is taking us....

Now, before you start getting upset I won't leave out the women's role.
It makes me sick to see women today who are so consumed with worldly things that in order for a man to even rate, he needs to have money and be able to supply them with petty things they deem important.

Can I say.... demand people! Demand drives production of even attitude.  Perhaps we would see a change in what men put as their priority's if women had a value system that consisted of more than trying to impress other people with how they look or what they own and needing to fit in.

If women were attracted to men that stood for something other than the love of money, like, say our children ....our rights ......we would certainly see a well needed change. We must as women support men in the endeavors of such. 

.. ..

 Something is missing ......and yes you guessed it, it is God!

If you were to look at the Bible and then at the rack of magazines and compare. One promotes love and security about one's self ...the other promotes self-hatred, jealousy and trivial and unrealistic ideals.

And if you don't possess the money to do as they do.....well you're on your own.   Do we truly believe that someone is worthless as a human being because they may be overweight or do not look like people in the magazines?  

Can you honestly say that you are not quicker to smile at a pretty lady or a man that pulls up in an expensive car? But why do we do this? Media influences have completely stripped away both men and women's sense of identity and replaced them with a web of self loathing and despair. 

So we are in continual pursuit of what they tell us we need, or need to be. You are not the sum of all that you possess but you are the sum of all that you think and do.

True self worth can only come from sacrificing ourselves to God and for others. Through Agape love only.  

Think.....when you buy all of those things trying to fulfill yourselves, who is benefiting?  You end up being no better off and loving the slave master, not the Master.

.. ..

Yes, there are some good men out there, I am glad to know.  I'm sure it's not easy in the face of all that they are up against.

Today it is not manly to love God, to be loyal, to fight evil or to even just do what is right! Today all of these things are considered just plain  CRAZY. 

But there are some of us women who actually thinks it's SEXY  to see men who are not blind to the evil that surrounds us. I, on behalf of those few women say, Thank you! Thank you for not giving up on what's right and just.

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "Where Have all the Real Men Gone? "

Joshua said (May 14, 2011):

Absolute drivel.

Women have chosen to stop fulfilling the basic contract between Men and Women. There’s no longer anything in it for him at even the most basic level, and when he discovers that, he moves on. Sometimes it takes him two or three tries to learn that the contract will never be fulfilled by the woman and stop making it. Unlike my ancestor Adam, I will not join the Woman in foolishness just to keep having her, because a bad woman is worse than no woman. As Solomon said, “A foolish woman tears down her house with her own hands. “ It was probably at Bathsheba’s knee, the betrayer of Uriah the Hittite, that he learned those words, as her tears dripped into her lap.

Stephen said (May 14, 2011):

"Society" and women do not WANT "real men", hence there are none. Also, men have come to realize
that being "real men" holds no advantages in this era of 80% divorce where 2/3's are initiated by the wife.

The gentleman who is heading overseas understands the true situation

Michael said (May 14, 2011):

We do not know enough about Maureens’ circumstances but Peter and Marco together with myself have an endless well to draw from in our immediate surroundings concerning complaining women and their fates. How do you convey what you see as a truthful message, yet knowing you most certainly will hurt a number of emotions in the person you direct your words towards, while still not losing the constructiveness you’re trying your best to put forth?

Maureen, I bid you the best of luck in finding someone to share your life provided it is under mutual volition and benefit, but what about your children? Have you like most women of your situation I’m familiar with, lent your childrens’ ears for some of your confessions regarding your feelings for men in general and some in particular. How much would you gauge have rubbed off on your son and daughter? Do you know that boys and girls react differently to such influence in their formative years, but neither reaction is a healthy one.

Fine, you missed the boat! Hey, you might get lucky! Life goes on with or without you, but don’t you dare sabotage lives not yet lived or you’ll experience an old-age no one will envy.

Peter said (May 13, 2011):

Your recent article quotes a mother asking where have all the real men gone? Her article describes where they have gone and the cause for it. Toxic feminism has not "empowered" women--it has debased them. The logical fallacy that she is embracing is that "real men" have "gone" somewhere. In today's feminized culture, men are not supposed to be men.

If you're wondering where I get that idea.......With whom did she have children?

Did she wait for a real man to come around or did she procreate with someone of lesser quality? Now that she has children, she wants a "real man." She didn't pick a "real man" to marry (assuming that she did marry the father) How long before, statistically, all these women who now claim that they want real men have none left to find? They aren't creating them or fostering them into existence. Women today certainly aren't demanding chivalry from men. It's simple supply and demand. The "real men" are not at all in demand, in reality. Women are getting what they are asking for. Period.

Throughout history, women have been a civilizing influence on men. We, in our natural state, are brutish, crass and, in just about every way, uncivilized. That is our fallen nature. Get a group of guys together and you will see a different person than one who is in the office or in "polite" society, regardless of how refined they are. A hilarious and entertaining example of this is Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. This musical/play shows men in their natural state who are civilized by a very strong woman.

I became a Christian at age 30. Prior to that I did not suffer from lack of attention from females. I treated women poorly, used them and discarded them. If I came across a decent woman, I kept walking. I'm not proud of this, quite the opposite.

When I became a Christian, God turned my life around and I became the man I had always wanted to be--honest, decent, loving (in the true sense of the word), compassionate. I couldn't find a date to save my life. Numerous female friends would comment on how I should be married, what a shame it was that I hadn't "found someone," etc. I repeatedly got the "death knell" of any hope of a relationship--"you're such a nice/great guy!" As soon as someone said that to me, I knew that I'd never date them or any of their friends. Believe me, the irony was not lost on me!

My story does have a happy ending! I have found a most remarkable woman who does value my character and attributes. We're getting married on 4 JUN 11. God had to wait a long time for me to grow up enough to appreciate the value of a "real woman!" Her story is similar to mine, but from the opposite direction.

In short (yeah, I know.....too late!), if she wants to find a real man, she will have to become a real woman. A real woman doesn't tolerate nonsense from "unreal" men.

Marco said (May 13, 2011):

I wanted to respond to this article because of my own experience with dating Christian women. I've started off dates feeling so enthusiastic that I might have found a religious woman, only to be let down. I can usually tell how versed a woman is when I begin quoting bible scripture, and asking basic trivia questions like "who was the first man to see Jesus after he rose from the cave?" I can tell you that every woman I have dated falls flat-face-down at these tests. Most have also never heard the term "agape", or know its meaning. Most have to spend a full minute just trying to remember the names of the four gospels. Most have not fully read The Book of Revelations because "it makes no sense". I've also found that some are really just golddiggers hiding behind a religious front. They use God as a means to an end to secure marriage and the one-sided money exchange that comes out of the marital contract. They have little interest in discussing dogma, but they get piqued talking about what kind of upward mobility you have in your career.

One of my Christian male friends is moving away to Brazil this year, and another is moving to Argentina; It is my hope to join them in South America once they have established a beachhead. I am lucky enough to have a career path that will let me work away from my native land. If I can't find a virtuous Christian woman on this continent, I am already making preparations to leave and go to one that has them. If you want to know where all the real men have gone - they are busy fleeing the burning Anti-Christian house.

I also find it remarkable how preachy religious women get after they have children and age. Where was that verbosity when they were nubile and marriageable?

Brian said (May 13, 2011):

Home late and tired to the bone, but couldn’t pass up the chance to say “Bravo Maureen”. Like Ted, I’m a thirty-year man who is happy to have stayed the course, and the deciding factor was always my responsibility to my family, and to God!

I’ve never considered myself to be an especially brave man, but am proud to say that I’ve always had a big problem with the truth – I KEEP TELLING IT, though I’m not popular for it.

You go girl!

Ted said (May 13, 2011):

Thank you for your thoughtful article. I've been a husband and a father for almost 30 years, and it hasn't been easy. I have been tempted to leave more times than I can count, but my responsibility to my children and the commitment to my marriage prevented me from going through with it. I don't claim that my loyalty was self generated, since it was my ego which wanted to flee. It was only the grace of God that kept our family intact. If I wasn't convinced that there was a right and a wrong, and gave into relativism, I would be foolishly separated from my family right now.

Alone, I'm a weak and stupid man. It's only when I allow the divinity within to emerge that I become a "real man". We all share the same divinity, we just let the ego drown it out.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at