Workplace Doesn't Work for Women
March 5, 2013
Young woman explains the difficulties awaiting young women
who prioritize a career over marriage and family.
Natural, hard-wired tendencies are stronger
than any PC government legislation, and any
laws about how people should act, says
nothing about how they do act.
"Expecting single young women not to develop feelings for competent men they spend a lot of time with is like expecting starving grocery attendants not to eat the stock. "
by Alexandra Fox
After nearly a decade in the working world here in London England, I can confirm the accuracy of Mary's article "Six Reasons Working Women Aren't Equal." In particular, I liked Mary's point that bosses (male and female) are afraid of threatening male employees, but keep females "in-line" by constant threats of termination. So here are five more reasons why young women are naturally designed to making raising their own children their first priority:
1. Women are far more vulnerable to exploitation and abuse in the workplace than men; firstly because authority figures target them more, and secondly because innate female nature stops women from being as assertive as men.
While men will require a financial incentive to work overtime, women will do it uncomplainingly for free (and then moan about it to their flatmates later). While men will directly request a pay-rise and confidently negotiate with the boss for it, women will keep quietly working for peanuts, hoping their hard work will eventually be noticed.
2. Natural hierarchy -I've worked in managerial roles, and always felt uncomfortable giving orders to men. The men I managed were always nice and respectful, but it just felt wrong. In one workplace where we had a very tyrannical boss, the men I managed ended up protecting me from the tirades of the boss. - Obviously when your subordinates are having to fulfill a protective role, the whole concept of staff hierarchy becomes slightly ridiculous!
3. Women bosses - Women in their natural state aren't effective as bosses, and women who have any success in this role have to become - and are always seen as - "bitches". I'm not against women in the workplace - they can be very hard workers, and bring many unique talents to a business. But I am certainly against women in positions of power over others, because it just doesn't work. Men and women alike always state that they prefer a male boss.
4. Romance/romantic exploitation - Natural, hard-wired tendencies are stronger than any PC government legislation, and any
laws about how people should act, says nothing about how they do act. People act as nature intended, and so, as well as the power struggles women face, are the complications of the inevitable office romances.
A very common scenario these days is that young, university-educated women enter the workplace determined to have a "successful career" as they've been brainwashed to believe this the Holy Grail of existence, but their biology has other ideas and so they promptly fall for a superior, usually their manager or boss.
A lot of these girls are entering the workplace having grown up with an absent or part-time father. Therefore, not only are they trying to fulfill their current need for a marital-type relationship, but also their still-unmet childhood need for a father. So of course with two such huge and fundamental deficits in their lives, they're going to develop unhealthy relationships with male authority figures they spend a lot of time with. Single girls brought up with a present and attentive father are much less likely to attach to authority figures at work; the problem is, there are increasingly few of them.
This authority figure may be married or single, old or young, and they may engage in a physical relationship or not, but all these situations share a common theme - they became a facsimile of marriage. They are based on the dominance and authority of a man, and the subordination and loyalty of a woman, in return for his protection. The boss enjoys the attentions of the wide-eyed young lady and so encourages them by treating her as "special" - favouring her above other employees, seeking her opinion on things, promoting her above her skill level, and so on, and she return these favours by complete loyalty - pouring all her energies into the job, doing whatever he asks of her, always being available to him, etc.
These girls would never dream of committing to a man outside of the workplace to this extent - spending every day with him, meeting his every whim, demonstrating total loyalty to him - but see no problem with doing so to a boss, because "it's work", therefore independent, empowered, and totally socially approved.
The men in these situations, whether married or single, will certainly have other relationships outside the office and will see the situation at work as a diverting little bonus, but for the girls - female biology being what it is - they become completely devoted and can't look at anyone else.
It's a modern twist on the married man with a mistress scenario - the classic case of a man not wanting to commit to his "bit on the side", but not wanting to lose her, either. So he creates this limbo state, and incentivizes her to stay in it. While the old-fashioned mistress would have required fine dining and expensive gifts, for the modern young woman, it's pretend promotions and fancy job-titles.
The morality tales that surround mistresses could equally be applied to starry-eyed young career women - they give the best years of their life to a feckless man for the transient excitement and buzz, but as their youth fades and his interest wanes, are left with nothing but a broken heart.
Moreover, at least mistresses would usually procure some kind of durable collateral from Mr. Married, in terms of lucrative gifts or even property - but 'working girls' typically fritter away their wages on frivolous fashion items and blurry nights out, so when their "career" falters, are left with nothing but an empty purse and a hangover.
5. "Work" is boring for women - Mary was exactly right; women are being conned into using their beauty and charm to benefit corporate profits (and their boss's ego) rather than themselves and their futures. The ironic thing is, as damaging as romantic involvements at work are to women, without them the overwhelming majority would find work "boring".
I've had many conversations with many working women. The amount of time dedicated to discussing career trajectories is less than 5%. The huge majority of all conversations of all young women everywhere are about - men. And sizzling tensions in the workplace are just the sort of thing women love to talk about and dissect for hours, weeks, eternity etc.
Again, legislation and academic polemics say one thing - that women are ambitious and career-driven and deeply fulfilled by their careers - but reality says another; that 95%+ of women find work boring, and are primarily fulfilled by their relationships - first with men, then with children. If they don't get to the children bit, then they just stay fixated on the men - they don't suddenly transcend into career-orientated worker drones, much as feminists want them to.
I'm not saying women can't/shouldn't have careers, just that fulfilling their fundamental instincts has to come first - telling them to have a career when they don't have a stable relationship is like telling someone who hasn't eaten for weeks to work in a grocery store. Expecting single young women not to develop feelings for competent men they spend a lot of time with is like expecting starving grocery attendants not to eat the stock.
The social message to women that their biological instincts have been socially constructed to oppress them doesn't result in them losing these instincts, just in their trying to fulfill them in increasingly unhealthy ways. Furthermore, the current availability of young and needy-of-male-attention women in the workplace is a huge threat to the few stable marriages that do exist.
Fifty years ago, most attractive young women were totally off-limits to married men - they were either married themselves, or working temporarily until they were. There was no such thing as an influx of single, available young women with absolutely no marital prospects swarming into every workplace in the land. Any sane civilization would recognize that this is a recipe for disaster. Not least for these men's wives and children, as he is lured away (even if 'just' emotionally) by the shiny new distraction in his office.
The reality is that if you put pretty much any young woman and heterosexual man together for a concentrated amount of time, romantic feelings will start to develop. People can control what they do, but they can't control what they feel, and falling in love can be just as torturous and devastating to single women's prospects and married men's families as sexual affairs.
Furthermore, with familial and social relationships being so fractured and atomized, people invest even more emotional energy than ever in their relationships at work - it can all too often be the only bastion of stability in their turbulent lives, particularly women's. This is a very unstable and dangerous situation, as of course this 'stability' can be removed in the blink of an eye by being fired, or even just transferred to another office.
When women invest their energies in creating real relationships and families, they get the things they need back - love, security, companionship, appreciation, etc. When they invest in workplaces, they get none of these, so they instinctively try to fulfill them through romantic entanglements with superiors and friendships with colleagues.
But this is all mirage and illusion, as is proven when the romance fizzles, the friends get new jobs, or of course they're fired. Social engineers have destroyed marriage and family, only to have people instinctively try to recreate it at work - where corporate culture can profit from it. It is a very sorry situation, and the sooner women particularly start to wake up to it, the better we will all be.
Also by Alexandra Fox -
Friends -The Latest Substitute for marriage
Women Love Gay Men for Shunning Them
Related - Former Lovers Crash Ferry