READ THIS AND REFLECT THAT SCHOOL AND MEDIA ARE TEACHING CHILDREN
THAT THIS sick behavior IS NORMAL AND HEALTHY. a satanic cult normalizes sickness
From the first time (at a young age) that I entered the forbidden gay world, I moved about it nervously, clumsily, shocked at the level of brutality -- and utter lack of feeling -- as men of all shapes and sizes plowed and sucked each other into drug-enhanced oblivion. Hands groped at me from the dark corners of clubs, and I winced from their contaminating touch. I allowed myself to get drawn into it just a bit, and then swore it off for weeks, months, sometimes years, until some mysterious desire drew me back again for another cycle of misery and humiliation (mostly).
The gay propagandists had come along and tried desperately, at times ferociously, to legitimize the "gay lifestyle." They flooded society with gay-is-fabulous propaganda, even organizing nationwide "pride" parades featuring a pathetic display of low-minded crudities.
The vast majority of gay men were either "bottoms" (the receivers in sexual intercourse) or "versatile bottoms" (they could switch from receiver to giver but really preferred to be the receiver); indeed, the number of "bottoms" far exceeded the number of "tops" in any club, on any dating or hook-up site, or wherever else gay men congregated.
This meant that, strictly on a practical level, the vast majority of gays would be left permanently un-partnered... since you couldn't pair a "bottom" with a "bottom." This, in turn, led often to the most staggering promiscuity whereby the average gay man took on anonymous lovers in back alleys, adult bookstores, bathhouses, house parties and orgies, circle jerks, and after-hours clubs -- with a startling casualness born of desensitization.
As much as the gay propagandists tried to convince us that homosexuality was "no different from heterosexuality," the reality often differed vastly. Men don't naturally relate on a romantic level, or even on an emotional level, at all... at least not in this context.
Most gay interactions were not predicated on the soul of a man or the voice of a man, or on any real male bonding; they were predicated strictly on a drive for constant sex. Let's face it. Men are pigs. Women crave intimacy, but men just want to 'get off,' especially when they are left only with each other. This was, in most cases, an incontrovertible fact, impervious to even the most vigorous propaganda.
The gay lies and absurdities did not end there. It seemed laughable, for instance, that anyone could honestly believe that the hunger for man could ever be satisfied by the many effeminate gay men who dominated gay culture. If homosexuality could be defined as a man's attraction to other men, then why would a man who desired a man want a man who acted like a woman?
The propagandists tried to dismiss the preference for masculine men as a mere "gender stereotype," even coining clumsy and ridiculous phrases such as: "I am a non-binary gay man" (whatever that meant).
But the love of masculinity-in-men was too strong a determinant in human sexuality, and could never be totally eradicated. "Masculine men only," one gay man after another declared in their online profiles, leaving all the "fems" to find their mates among the other rejects of gay hierarchies. "Little sissy faggot boy sitting here in my panties," announced one such creature on a chat line one night, "looking for daddy to spank me and f**k me..."
I often got the feeling that most homosexuals were, in fact, secretly searching for the strong, dominant FATHER figure of which we had all been deprived in a man-hating society that did all it could to emasculate, humiliate, and attack its men.
Indeed, the desire for penis could very well be translated as the desire for paternalistic fortitude, for even the sanest among us have the tendency to sexualize or fetishize our unfulfilled emotional needs. The maleness in gay men was always precarious at best, and inspired me to probe deeper into this strange phenomenon.
In that vein, I wondered if many gays were actually more transsexual than homosexual, and if there would come a time that they'd embrace this and act accordingly, thus ending the absurd fiction that they were in any way male. Indeed, they fetishized women's clothing and lingerie, and bitchy female celebrities, to such a degree that they often seemed like bratty 12-year-old girls locked miserably in men's bodies.
I posted these very thoughts in various online forums, and many guys responded thus: "Great post, man. I feel exactly the same way. I don't like most gay men for these reasons, so I just keep mostly to myself. But I feel lonely and isolated."
These men existed on the fringes of gay culture, as I did, and often felt misrepresented by the vociferous and deceptive nature of gay propaganda. Still, sodomy stalked us even in these circles, like a sinister, black-caped stalker in the shadows of an endless and paint-splattered night. As such, I once described the desire for sodomy thus: "a black hunger that totally takes over a man, rendering all other needs and desires secondary or irrelevant."
EFFECTS OF SODOMY
I'd read somewhere that sodomy was used in satanic rituals to open up demonic portals. I'd seen first-hand what happened to guys after they started being sodomized. They changed. Their body language changed. The look in their eyes changed. It was as if, in many cases, some unnamed demon had taken possession of them, altering the base of their person-hood (if they even had one). There was, indeed, something overtly animalistic about this kind of sex; the "doggy-style" pose, for instance, preferred by many, suggested a bestial quality which seemed incompatible with intimacy and dredged up latent bestial impulses and facial expressions.
Again and again, when I peeked into this dreary lifestyle, I was inundated by pictures of men's anuses: men on all fours with their asses in the air, men lying on their backs with their legs flung over their heads, men in all kinds of ludicrous acrobatic poses to reveal the all-important anus.
"Even Freud himself would be puzzled by these men's anal fixation," I joked to a friend. It was all so depressingly crude and vulgar and did nothing to create deep and genuine bonds. In fact, it did just the opposite. Most gay men had been so utterly brainwashed by gay propaganda that they didn't seem to notice that they were chronically "single and searching" at 25, at 35, at 45, at 55, even at 65, long after the age of dating should've ended for most people.
Clearly, the propaganda had set up false and impossible expectations of the lifestyle; and when these expectations were not fulfilled, many gay men became bitter and resentful -- not towards the propagandists, oddly enough, but towards each other and the world in general. There were exceptions to this, of course, but 99% of the gay couples I'd met over the years were in open relationships - which seemed to suggest that the black hunger, whatever it was, could not be fulfilled sufficiently by someone else who possessed the very same hunger.
Nevertheless, I fantasized constantly about hard bodies in the foggy mists of male benedictions, with hands caressing faces and fingers pressing into flesh. It was a joyous erotic brotherhood which stopped short of loverdom, seasoning the soul with the precious gifts of intimacy. Cheap vulgarities had no place in such a vision, and they dissolved like dewdrops under the light of day.
Ammago's website is here. AMMAGO aka ABRODAR is an Italian-American male of creative and sexual pinings which have often placed him definitively beyond the mainstream. There, in the shadowy corners, he acted out these impulses with a clumsy sincerity, eventually becoming a creator (and performer) of short absurdist skits and sketches which he often turned into films. One of his earliest works received distribution in the independently-owned video stores that were popular at the time (Kim's Videos, etc.); later works appeared at various festivals and were among the top-rated and most-watched on various film sites.
He hates everything about this cold, vile era, and rejects most of the mainstream culture. He does not have any social media accounts and refuses to join the myriad "feeding frenzies" online. He laughs as much as he cries and considers seagulls and deer to be among his best friends. One of his deepest ambitions is to plant a daisy in a wart on the end of a witch's nose.
First Comment by Marco A
This is potentially one of the best and most honest articles I have read thus far in regards to this behavior and lifestyle. The author is very intelligent and eloquent in communicating the complex nature of his external world and soul.
What I understand is that he has been essentially looking for poetic intimacy in this "gay culture" and was met with disappointment when all he found was debauchery and a debasement of his fantasy; a fantasy that was filled with love and intimacy, rather than just sexual promiscuity.
How anyone can escape fantasy and a fetish is beyond me, but I did find it very interesting when the author wrote "...for even the sanest among us have the tendency to sexualize or fetishize our unfulfilled emotional needs."
Also of particular interest is when he wrote, "Most gay interactions were not predicated on the soul of a man or the voice of a man, or on any real male bonding; they were predicated strictly on a drive for constant sex."
I was thinking the same thing earlier this week. Biologically, male and female are hardwired to be attracted to one another, it doesn't make sense that a whole segment of the population can be wired differently.
Anyways, I wish the author the best, although I fear if he continues indulging in his fantasy without tempering it with reality he will continually set himself up for disappointment if not worse. How often does it lead to nothing but a disgusting expression of false love for those who seek the fulfillment of this fantasy?
Something promises you intimacy and love, but in the end, all you receive is "doggy-style" and a scarred soul.
I hope the author can fill that hole inside of himself.
I wish I could give advice, but this is far beyond me. It's a shame that society will not allow such honest conversations regarding this lifestyle to take place so that more intelligent individuals can weigh in and potentially help these people.