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How Men Should Relate to Women

August 18, 2018

With all the noise and confusion over gender and sexual harassment, with women's heads so inflated, men need a reminder of how to approach a woman.
Essentially he must have a role for her in his life, and he has to enlist her. This role must be in her best interests too. 
Ultimately, in a long-term relationship, women trade power for love. Men want power. Women want love. Heterosexual marriage is an exchange of the two. A woman can have power or love but she can't have both. Women love by acquiescing. Men love by vindicating this trust. He consults her wishes but she must concede the power to grant them, or not. Women want men to take charge.
With perfect submission comes perfect love. Perfect love is never oppressive, domineering or cruel. A man wants his woman to want to be his.
Lisa Schmidt (below) is a woman who gets it.  She recognizes
that female "empowerment" is neutering women, making them squander their best years, and reap loneliness & bitterness. This is the Illuminati banker agenda, to depopulate and undermine society by subverting marriage and family. 

by Lisa Schmidt 
Podcast Host & Coach for Women - who want a no BS approach to life, business and relationships 

Call it nature vs. nurture, neuro-biological differences or perceived societal roles. The fact is that the sexes are opposite for a reason. His strong nature and ability to problem solve, or his aptitude for compartmentalizing is hard-wired into his brain. Her nurturing capabilities and emotional charges are the counterbalance to his competitive soul. We are meant to complement each other in order to secure the longevity of the human race. Hunter and gatherer bring home his kill or the spoils of his riches to the protected and provided for, so to speak.

(left. Lisa Schmidt) 

Since the dawn of man, it has been more or less understood that there were roles in relationships. As times have changed over the past thousand years or so, those roles have been redefined numerous times. Women's liberation, feminism, the rise in single-parent homes, have all changed how we look at perceived roles. Here we are in 2014. Women are CEOs, highly educated and sometimes the sole provider and protector of their family. While it is amazing and a huge leap forward for women in general, in our modern society it blurs the lines in relationships.

Stop fighting! Quit raging against men and embrace the differences.

I want to share a secret with you that will save you from disappointment and heartache.  You are woman and yes, you should roar. Your thoughts, wisdom, and accomplishments are not only noteworthy - they should be celebrated!  But at the end of your life, when you look back and are reflecting, do you want to see life and the relationships you had as a struggle?  Will it be more important that you let go of the nonsense and discovered true happiness, or did you absolutely need to fight against men to prove that you have evolved past the days of caveman?

Willfully submit to your nature when it comes to "being" in a relationship. Now I don't mean submit in the sense of giving over complete control of who you are. I mean to submit to allowing yourself to be feminine and leaving the bitch and your baggage at the door.  A man wants to fall in love with a woman who is confident yes, but whom also is happy and authentic.  Coming in with the ghost of boyfriends past or the preverbal chip on your shoulder is a relationship murdering attitude.


(l. Cruel Hoax 2007. If Western society wasn't thoroughly subverted by the central banking cartel, this book would not be self-published and virtually unreviewed.) 

[Schmidt quotes me.]
Contrary to what we have been taught, women need to be possessed by man's love. Similarly, men have a fundamental psychological need to possess a woman with his love. Men want power; women want love. Heterosexual marriage is an exchange of the two, sanctified by an exclusive sexual union. Women need to experience power as love. Men need to express love as power. The exchange of female power for male love is at the heart of the heterosexual relationship. Courtship involves winning female trust so she can surrender power. The male presents her with a vision of life together. He is basically saying: "Follow me. Become one with me. I will use my power on our behalf." Women love by trusting. A woman gives her husband power and he uses it to love her. This is reflected in the sex act. With perfect surrender comes perfect love. ~Henry Makow

So what are you willing to surrender as your perceived sense of power to find and keep love?  Are you able to let go of struggle and welcome exchange to really know and love another person at their very core?

Can you visualize it?

Imagine a picturesque home with a well-manicured yard. There's a white picket fence, an adorable porch swing and sounds of happiness coming from inside. You step through the gate because you cannot help but to be drawn to the appeal of this inviting scenario. You make your way up the path leading to it. Now is where you stop. You must make a choice. Do you walk up to the door and knock, asking to be invited in or do you stand on the porch peering through the window wishing that was your life? More importantly, why have you stopped?  Ask yourself why!

Maybe you don't believe you deserve happiness. Maybe you are terrified of the leap of faith it takes to trust this new life moment. Maybe you are just too angry to see this for what it is.  Let it all go right now. If you can never let your guard down and accept the exchange, you will always be at that gate or standing on the porch, watching other people have and live the life you want.

-------------------    Having Sex is Not Making Love 
-----------------------------       Reclaiming Male Power

First Comment from Jennifer

It sounds wonderful -A Trustworthy Man -enlists her, in her best interests for a long term monogamous relationship. He is not oppressive, domineering or cruel.
Well, my girlfriends and I have never met such a man.  We meet men who don't want long term monogamous relationships; don't want children;
or men who hold out a carrot stick of this illusive future of a monogamous marriage only to discover years later that he has issues-- fear of commitment; sex-addiction-cheating-porn; drug-alcohol-anti-deprssants; mommy anger resentment issues; and /or double life - homosexual or Freemason occult secrets. 
And then when The Man wants to disengage from the charade relationship he created, he becomes very cruel, oppressive and 
domineering -gaslighting her so she will leave and he's off the hook.  

Is the problem feminist women not wanting to give up power? Or is it men not wanting the responsibility of monogamous relationship in her best interests !
It is not in any woman's best interest to be with a cheater, porn viewer, drug addict, Freemason etc, etc.--these issues are epidemic today. 
I meet so many men today in their late 40s -50s and 60s who confess how horrible they were to women in their 20s and 30s and only as washed up senior men looking back, do they realize/regret their life decisions, women and opportunities they squandered. 

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "How Men Should Relate to Women "

Barry H said (August 21, 2018):

I think there is a much simpler explanation as to why male / female relationships are breaking down. Historically speaking, men and women have held different types of power to create a perfect balance in nature. With the exception of rape, she decides whether sex happens or does not. She decides which male genes go forward into the future. She decides whether a man’s genetic lineage continues or ends. That is the power of life or death. Is there any greater power?

On the other hand, the male role has been to provide and protect, especially during gestation when the woman is most vulnerable. He continues with this role and puts all his energy and resources into the protection of his family and offspring, in many cases to the point of sacrificing his own health and wellbeing.

Government welfare systems have destroyed this balance. The government has usurped the male role by giving various forms of support, including cash benefits and physical protection provided by the police and the judiciary. She may still want a man and a father for her children, but at the same time, she is fully aware that she holds all the cards.

Now that domestic violence has been made a priority crime she can have him removed in minutes by a single phone call to the police. No evidence required. How much power is that? I’ve heard the counter-arguments that women need state protection from feckless irresponsible males who are only interested in making a sperm donation, but I don’t buy it.

Take away the welfare safety net and women will make much better choices, be more choosy, and men will naturally aspire to be better men. That is unlikely to happen as feminists have infiltrated national governments worldwide, which brings me to another point.

Should women be allowed to vote when they vote for welfare systems that ultimately make men redundant? I can hear feminists screaming at the mere suggestion of removing benefits, but I’m afraid those same women cannot see the end game for humanity if things continue as they are.

WD said (August 20, 2018):

Just an observation after reading the woman who echoed your take on marriage. After her admonition for women to stop bashing men, a female reader wrote that all men are insufficiently worthy of her time and men in their 40s and 50s are washed up?

I know I must be done in my sixties, but a guy in his forties? It seems a basic fact was missing and that is all young women have been conditioned to think they are deserving of a top-drawer alpha male who can beat the average guy into submission or at least tell him off in three languages. While I understand that a college educated woman thinks she deserves an educated spouse, I wonder if she has any idea what men really go through.

Essel said (August 18, 2018):

This exchange of power against love (tenderness, fidelity, etc.) is indeed at the heart of marriage in its natural component. However, there must be two conditions without which we run to failure.

1 ° / The spouses must pursue the same natural end (to found a family and educate the children) and supernatural (love and serve God to enjoy the beatific vision after death: to see de visu the truth, the Good, the Beautiful, etc., which they have aspired here). This last point being absolutely fundamental in the education of the children. Faith is transmitted through teaching AND example and a disagreement between parents on this point would be devastating.

2°/ The spouses must have received a solid moral education, and I would even say, the husband even more than the wife since it is he who will direct the boat.

If these conditions are not fulfilled, it may be possible to achieve a lasting relationship with no gaps or bursts if the husband's grip is strong enough and the woman's submission sufficient but it falls into a vulgar mafia type relationship from dominant to dominated (which finds a certain temporal security), Deceptive security of course. Or at best, a dual selfishness.

The moral value of an act is judged on its end. But the aim of human acts can not be in the power of man. For this to be so, it would be necessary for man to be master of his being, to be dependent on nothing. Which is obviously not the case: he is contingent, he has a superior and a "maker" (usually called God!) And it is this Lord and Master who dictates to his creature what he must to make life that He has granted to Him free of charge.

Alas, this is totally unknown today and, when pointed out to people who can understand, they flee or get angry, because, as has often been remarked by M. Henry Makow, they find there a certain advantage to the ambient error, which makes them complicit.

This teaching of truths necessary for life has been systematically destroyed by whom we know. Better, it has been replaced by its opposite.
In terms of male-female relationships as for the rest, the purpose of life is now "to enjoy". Running in vain after an ectoplasm called "happiness (earthly)".

Sandra said (August 18, 2018):

Lisa's philosophy of power/love in the man/woman relationship is based on her incorrect notion that a man's judgment is always better than his wife's and therefore he must have the final say in the end - that he will listen to her input but ultimately get his way. This can be disastrous. We are not talking about what colour carpet to buy. Sometimes important, critical issues are at stake. No household can leave these decisions in the hands of one person. Men can be very, very wrong at times and use their power to ruin the household and family because of poor judgment based in character flaws that don't show themselves until after the couple has been married for some time.


Nobody is right all of the time


Tony B said (August 18, 2018):

You write that men WANT power. I see it differently.

Men are born with power; especially power over women. It has been common knowledge since the beginning of time. Not even two full centuries have passed since machinery has largely nullified man's power over the workplace. If a job was still WORK women would shun jobs because they could not do the necessary WORK. Because of machinery, most jobs today are activities, not work. Those jobs that still require hard work are still held exclusively by men.

There is one other major factor, in the "west" at least, that, even more than machinery, has neutered man's power over women. That is mistaken, unnatural law. These purposely subversive laws, by application, automatically make the woman a victim and the man a criminal in every problem that arises between them. Women have not been slow to realize the gigantic advantage this gives them at every turn and they use it without compunction. Such upside down, anti-human laws have created a destructive form of insanity in the male/female relationship and society at large.

Neither is going to change over the next few generations. The only present counter possible to correct our destroyed society is, as you suggest in your article, for women themselves to understand the sorry results of their misuse of both so as to quit using these handed-to-them advantages selfishly.

Z said (August 18, 2018):

There's a natural sexual order: Man obeys God, Woman obeys Man and Children obey their Parents. Men do not need to exchange power for love from a woman as it is NOT love but Lust (with capital L) they get.

Real Love (with capital L) has a lot more to do than simple men-women relationships. The two sexes only come together to procreate and raise children. That's all.

The rest is an illusion supported poetry, romantic movies, music, etc. When a man tries to please a woman or have a fair exchange with her, she always ends up eating him up. Because every woman instinctively inherits this black widow spider knowledge—tempting her man and sucking out his juices. A woman craves the genes of the strong and independent Alpha man but if he stays for too long with her she'll suck his juices too.

Have you noticed that Jesus only talked about the Son, the Father and the Holy Spirit - no woman, no mother, no goddess, no daughter. He came along and said - “I am the sacrifice. You don’t have to sacrifice flesh –of the boy or the ram who represents the boy – anymore.” And through his crucifixion he both fulfilled and put an end to the cult of Astarte, the Great Mother Earth - the feminist cult at the time.

That’s why Christianity has been so successful even though it was corrupted when the Romans adopted as a state religion. Nowadays, we seem to have made a full circle and the Feminine/Goddess/Satanic power rules the world once again. Women behave as if they are all Goddesses and men have been hypnotized to serve them for the mere exchange of a pussy and nothing more.

Boys are born out of woman, Men are born out of the Fatherly spirit. Every time men try to relate to women they slide back to being boys. Again and again, this phenomenon can be seen in families where a man who might be all-powerful and mighty outside his family, always regresses back to the little boy and his wife rules over him.

Men today need to realize that women will never willingly follow the natural sexual order, especially in times of abundance and comfort. Only when the time are harsh she would be willing to cooperate as her survival depends on it.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at