Danger! Women with Borderline Personality Disorder
June 1, 2019
(left. RFK Jr. & his late wife Mary.He has since married Cheryl Hines who played Larry David's wife on Curb Your Enthusiasm)
10% US Women Have Borderline Personality Disorder
85% of people suffering from BPD are women and account for about 5% of the US population.
The author, Zach's wife suffers from BPD: "Having lived through it, I can tell you that the end result is a battered, beaten shadow of a man who, at his lowest, believes every harsh thing she says about him, has lost complete control over his own possessions and even his own life, and feels isolated and trapped."
I decided to repost this 2012 article after receiving this email Wednesday from Barry: "I've just read your brief article about dangerous people with BPD. My wife is this kind of dangerous person. It's taken me many years to understand who she is. Since we separated four years ago she's caused me more grief than I can describe here. I could write a book. She is the narcissistic powerful personality type who won't stop torturing me. Is there any resources I can access to deal with her. I'm chained to her during a very prolonged divorce because she and her lawyer find ways to block the divorce/property settlement that keeps my life in limbo. Thanks for your help and understanding of this kind of dangerous person."
from July 27, 2017
As the days went on, the character assassination campaign grew to such a pitch that Mr. Kennedy publicized a court affidavit from their divorce proceedings that described Mary as an out-of-control woman who frequently physically and emotionally abused her loving husband and four children.
- Dr. Albert Bernstein, Emotional Vampires: Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry.
The sufferer has an extremely narrow black-and-white worldview that causes them to be unduly agitated and aggressive.
Personality disorders are contrasted against the more commonly known Affective Disorders (e.g., Bipolar and Depression) in that PDs are mostly learned behaviors and mindsets, whereas Affective Disorders stem more from biological malfunctions and shortages of hormones.
- not be able to settle conflicts (instead raging),
- cannot emotionally handle information conflicting to their beliefs of reality (instead growing immediately and intensely angry),
- have a weak handle on reality at times (forgetting past abuse, having warped views of situations, etc.),
- and have the inability to hold two opposing views and finding a synthetic balance. Someone or something is either all good, or, in the words of Mary Kennedy, "the Devil incarnate". This is the psychological process called Splitting.
One of the saddest aspects of the BPD pattern is that most husbands of BPD's are honest, God-fearing, highly empathetic and otherwise powerful men.
Frankly, no one else could or would put up with their abuse or have faith that they'd get better. Because highly functional BPD's can control themselves in front of outsiders, many go months, even years, without showing symptoms. By that point, the unsuspecting man frequently finds himself married and with several children (There is a pattern where Borderline women desire numerous children, as a sort of Narcissistic Supply and enmeshment of husbands [see the movie on Joan Crawford, Mommie Dearest (1981)]) .
These men then feel like they committed to the relationship for better or for worse, and doggedly stick to their convictions, even while it destroys their manhood and their children. Then a series of systematic abuse, isolation from friends and family, and an invasion of their personal boundaries occurs that leaves the partner in a state of psychological shock and blackmail termed "enmeshment".
Now doesn't all of this sound like those beaten down, eggshell-walking men mocked in the commercials? It is my contention that BPD may be part of a larger sociological engineering campaign, manufactured in tandem and exacerbated by the Feminist movement. One casually overlooked (and occluded) fact is that BPD is a purely Western phenomenon.
[Some nights,] she would threaten suicide, but the next morning she would be calm and gentle. She would say she was sorry and didn't know why she was acting this way. For a time she would be her old wonderful self at night as well as during the day, and Bobby had renewed hope, the affidavit said.
He was (and probably still is), in short, a misguided man suffering from White Knight Syndrome. His kids had to watch this and --- years later --- confided in him that they, too, were being abused. That he didn't know shows the extent of his denial.
- One Way Ticket To Kansas: Caring About Someone With BPD And Finding A Healthy You,
- The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
- Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has BPD
However, if you hardly ever get an, "I'm sorry", but get yelled at more, then the prognosis is very grim. In that case, you should analyze your life situation. Ask, is this my proper path in life? What am I getting out of this?
Go Away! I Need You! is one of the best how-to guides on everything you must do for weeks up until your escape.
The Siren's Dance: My Marriage to a Borderline: A Case Study