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A Male's Pathetic Appeal for Love

January 17, 2010

by Henry Makow Ph.D.

Recently a young man named "Confounded Intellectual" posted a pathetic appeal for love  on a popular website.

"So many men are simply starving for kindness from a woman but ...find sarcasm and cynicism instead," he wrote.

He spoke of "a climate of hostility among women towards men." Women manifest "self righteousness" where men  "cannot win."

"...The Sexual Revolution has ruined it for everyone as far as trust goes...Men have a need to be admired by the women they love...It is the way men are made... It is from such admiration that a man derives his strength. The quest for this him with inspiration and motivation to serve and accomplish in his world."

"There are women, thanks perhaps to the effects of feminism, who [cannot show] a man admiration, as if to say, "I'm not going to feed his stupid ego!"

"But, perhaps if his ego were fed once in a while he wouldn't be in the state of starvation that so diminishes a man as to prod him into the very ways that women find so intolerable. The result is a seemingly endless cycle of resentment and mutual punishment."

"A man needs to be needed ... yet the constant message sent (ad nauseam) by the modern woman is "I'm strong and independent! I don't need a man!" ...

 "A man may respect a women for her independence, but he will cherish and love her for appreciating and needing (and in so doing bringing out) his manliness.

 "What does a man look for in a woman? In a word, a home. To a little child, a woman (usually its mother) is ... a home... This is not to say her job [is] to raise [a man]--certainly not--but the shelter she provides for him emotionally, where he may be himself, generally makes him better, stronger, more of a man, and inspires him to provide for her and shelter her physically. Indeed, to the point of laying down his life."


"Confounded Intellectual" exhibits the state of mind typical of men unsuccessful with women. This state of mind caused me to waste my life in the vain pursuit of "love."

The key is "state of mind."  Men (and women) have been programmed to fail.

I wish someone had said this to me when I was 20. Question your assumptions about love, sex and women. Contrary to what you think, you DON'T NEED THEM to grow and develop personally or to be happy.  Indeed, this needy state of mind prevents you from getting them.

In a time when men have let women be seduced by feminists, and go AWOL, men need to pick themselves up by their bootstraps. Men need finally to be men.

Typical of young men, "Confounded Intellectual" is looking for a woman to "believe in him" and "validate" him. Can he see how weak this is?

Can he see how much power he's giving some stranger with tits?

Most women are insecure and looking for a powerful man. How can she respect, let alone love a man who needs her validation?

Men get their validation from other men, from the recognition and reward that comes from mastering a skill, and doing superior work.

Women are not really the best people to evaluate men. They have their own agenda. 

Most of our assumptions about young women, sex and love are cultural. They're not true. They're fed to us as a means of distracting and controlling us.

They are part of the bogus secular (satanist) religion of "humanism" that has usurped control of the planet.

One of the pioneers of "humanism" was the philosopher August Comte (1798-1857.) He advocated idealizing women as a way of secularizing society:

"Women must become Goddesses," he wrote in "System of Positive Polity" (1854). "By substituting goddesses for gods, we sanction the legitimate preeminence of women." (Vol. 4, P. 446.)

"In a word, the new doctrine will institute the worship of Woman, publicly and privately, in a far more perfect way than has ever before been possible. It is the first permanent step towards the worship of Humanity.  (SPP, Vol. I, P. 205.)

Worship of men or women is idolatry. This type of love is vampire-like You want to  possess the fine qualities of the loved one, whether it is youth, beauty or wit.


Similarly, the idealization of sex is socially instilled.  In the 1960's, the Cabalist views of  psychologist Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) were drummed into society.


According to Abraham Maslow (left) a man's source of self-esteem is his penis. Because he is a man, he is the "bearer of a holy thing," a sceptre which no woman can ever have.

Sexual intercourse, according to Maslow's philosophy, is a religious experience. The orgasm is what gives meaning to life and makes man God-like in his striving for unity.

A woman achieves self worth when she finds she has power over the man in arousing "great storms of sexuality, . . . and also by her power ally and quiet these storms."

It is a "goddess-like power" which can be used as "one basis for her profound biological self-esteem as a woman."

Glorification of "peak experiences" as exemplified by orgasm and also by "transcendent experiences" of the religious mystic is the bedrock of Maslow's philosophy, a philosophy that has dominated thinking in philosophy, psychology, sociology, religion, and curriculum planning for the past half century. (Religion, Values, and Peak Experiences, Abraham H. Maslow ; Kappa Delta Pi, 1960; Viking Press Inc. New York, 1970 P. 115-116.)

As you can see, sex is the bogus religion of our decadent pagan era. By inflating the importance of sex and women, heterosexuality is destabilized and society is undermined. Men find women unapproachable and can't provide leadership or get love.

In reality, anonymous sex is generally a ho-hum experience. Andy Warhol called it "the biggest nothing in the world." Good marijuana is far better way to achieve transcendence.

As for love, feminism inflates women's self-importance.  They are programmed to be "strong and independent" self righteous and aggrieved.  TV and the movies are full of these role models. These women are  un-marriageable and will grow old, alone and bitter or become lesbians.

Man wants power. Woman wants love. Heterosexual love and marriage is  an exchange fof female worldly power for masculine power expressed as love. She devotes her life to husband and children and is loved and rewarded for her sacrifice. A career is her second priority. This is the opposite of feminism.

Love based on trust, loyalty and affection grows over time. Generally our expectations of love and marriage are much too high. They can make life better but they are a quid per quo ; not a sin qua non.

Most women no longer can sacrifice. Men must put these women on "IGNORE" and look for the remnant who are still in touch with their feminine instincts. Consider women who will accede to reasonable demands. Jettison the rest.

Men, stop behaving  like you need women, sex or love to thrive. This is social conditioning. For every man whose life is enhanced by marriage, there is probably another whose life is  ruined.


We are programmed to fail by our political and cultural leaders who are chosen by the Cabalist Illuminati bankers.

Societies that keep women, sex and love in their proper perspective are the healthy ones that  ultimately will flourish. Their men are able to focus on serving God, which is really doing what God intended you to do, what you were born to do. Their women do not try to supplant and emasculate men. Rather, they empower their husbands and children, and are honored in doing so.

I say to Confounded Intellectual, seek self-respect instead of a woman's love. Reach goals that give you self confidence. Live up to your own spiritual ideals. When you're judging yourself, it's really God judging you. When you feel unloved, it's God's love you seek.   


I am grateful to author Erica Carle for sending the information about Comte and Maslow. 

Related-- "Revenge of an Unloved Man"

"Our Love Affair With God"

Haven't read it yet - The Manipulated Man

Scruples - the game of moral dillemas

Comments for "A Male's Pathetic Appeal for Love"

Eric in NH said (January 20, 2010):

It may interest you to know that there are guys walking around today that are pretty much like you advocate in the article-------ME! You should be advised it's not natural and it takes a fair amount of hard, tough work to accomplish. Yet it can be done, I'm living proof. The fact is, I may be somewhat of a trend setter here. I've had this attitude and have practiced it for years-----long, long before this or any article just like it.
No, I'm not a misogynist, I actually love women and realistically speaking, probably have as many if not more female friends as male. You just don't want to trust those mother fuckers that's all! I really do think you're spot on, particularly when it comes to these type of subjects. I'd love to communicate more with you on this and other things as well. Anyway, I'll let you go now. Thanks for another killer article.


P.S. By the way, in case you were wondering------
I'm not queer either! Like you and many of my brothers
just sick to death of the crap that seems to be everything female.
Take care out there.

Jerome said (January 19, 2010):

I have been coming to your site since it I got
a link from - Julian Lee's site.
Thats like a few years now. I have read a lot
of articles about men and women, relationship
stuff, NWO, etc. I come there to get refreshed from
time to time about things happening around.

I must say, the most important thing I have
gotten from your site is the link
to Esther Vilar's book - The manipulated man.
I only came across it by chance and I have spent
4 hours now, still reading. It is the most
enlightening thing I have read.

I am not sure if others who regular visit the site
have come across the book. I must say the link
was sort of not conspicuous enough, considering
the power of the book.

I am currently at the 14th page, trying re-read
and digest every fact. Its unbelievable it
was written by a woman. More so, written in
'76, before I was born. Surely, there
are many things I don't know, one for sure,
was that a book like this existed.

Dan said (January 19, 2010):

The only time a male can count on a woman to 'believe in him' and support him while he grows into being up to that belief is from his mother. For a husband women believe only in men who already have their strengths - where ever he gets it as long as it's NOT from her!

Charles said (January 18, 2010):

I believe that everything cycles and balance is eventually found once again. That is with everything in life. That is how it was designed.

How long will that take?? Who knows??? I feel the most important message to convey here is that each person, male or female, discover themselves before they bring another into their lives.

Are the male and female roles in America a little askew? Certainly, but do not put all the blame on the females, for the males have (Through conditioning, brainwashing, etc.) lost their way as well. Most men these days treat their pets better than they do their significant others.

The bottom line is this, " A man has the same responsibility to a woman as she has to him." The most important component or foundation is mutual RESPECT in any successful or positive relationship. Everything else is subject to the two involved and doesn't matter what outside forces think or feel. They make the rules. All involvement comes from self first. If you don't respect yourself, you won't respect others etc, etc. The goal is mutual Spiritual growth for both involved. Relationships are a great opportunity to grow and to assist others in growing.

Dora (age 20) said (January 18, 2010):

Have you noticed that being feminine and submissive is always mocked in movies and the media in general? A woman cannot for once please her husband "a little too much" before her psycho-bitch friends come to her "rescue". It's almost like an army or something with a "submissive wife" radar.

The classical flick is a man who looses his job and he suddenly becomes the bastard after having provided for his wife for years! After a couple of months she packs her bags and leaves; a couple of weeks later she's in the arms of another man...

Classical Lifetime movie. What about the series Will & Grace, a woman in her late 30s living with a gay man who is clearly the "woman" in the series...HE is allowed to be "hormonal" and "cry" without being mocked for it! Gays are always allowed to be feminine in Hollywood, and women are ALWAYS supposed to act more like a man. Most women need to come back to reality!

I also firmly believe men are supposed to be leaders not followers, and the one person they should be leading first and foremost is their wife, not the other way around. Otherwise she takes control and the man is completely emasculated...What happens afterward? The relationship grows cold, the children get hurt, among other things. The golden rule for men should be: Don't be driven by your sex drive or you will regret it.

This might sound brutal to some feminists (Frankly, I don't care if it does) but no matter what they say we can't fool God and nature and we get menstrual cramps for a reason; we ARE the weaker sex. Period! You can't compete so surrender in love for your man and let go of the anger, rage and resentment.

Ed said (January 18, 2010):

About your article "A Male's Pathetic Appeal for Love". I would say humans enjoy caring about others and enjoy being cared about by others.

Ed Pell
happily married 28 years with three kids

The Liberated Man said (January 18, 2010):

That was me not that long ago. Doing my very best to be the best father and husband I could be. Working 2,000-2,500 hours a year earning upwards of USD200K a year traveling extensively for my work to be the ‘best provider I could be only to be told I was somehow ‘not good enough yet’. I was a total ‘brainwashed mangina’ thinking that western women were actually decent people. Well, divorce sorted that one out for me.

I don’t touch western women any more. But I guess young men simply can’t help themselves in wanting a bit of sex. In which case the standard advice to them is to get the ‘snip’ or to never allow a woman to give him a blow job and make sure he puts tobasco sauce in the used condom. Women are stealing sperm to get pregnant in large numbers now. Many recommend video taping all sexual encounters to defend against the epidemic of false rape allegations. Yep. Western women are that horrible now. When I go onto forums and challenge western women to step up to ‘equality before the law’ I get ‘hate posts’ in return. I’ve done enough ‘offer the olive branch’. I’d suggest that those men who simply must deal with western women treat them as the adversaries they have chosen to be.

On forums I post on the western women ‘hate’ me because I am prepared to call them the crappy people they are. I also committed the ‘crime’ of being far happier as a single man than I ever was as a married man. I am committed the ‘crime’ of telling every young man I meet who is not married. Do not co-habit with a woman. It’s not worth it. These ‘strong and independent’ women don’t like us men who suggest that men should let them be ‘strong and independent’ in their own apartments/houses. Seems women only like to be ‘strong and independent’ when someone else is paying for them. Western women are pathetic now.

Aaron said (January 18, 2010):


With all do respect, and I do admire your perspective, why do you keep referencing Andy Warhol in relevance to the experience of sex in your writings? He was a Homosexual and knew nothing of the intense & transcendent experience of Heterosexual sex. Have you tried marijuana & heterosexual sex at the same time? Awesome!!!!

Cutty said (January 18, 2010):

The natural roles of men and women have been turned topsy turvy. Women have been trained by the media and education system to view men as troublesome distractions that are to be used for instant sexual gratification and then tossed away (Playboy syndrome for girls?). Who needs a man to compliment your femininity when you are equal to him -, that is to say, a man in a woman's body? Men have been trained to fawn after these icy shrews like weak little puppy dogs, thereby abdicating their self dignity and manliness in the process. The whole subtle interrelationship between man and woman has been screwed up beyond all recognition, and it was all done intentionally and with scientific exactitude.

I recently stumbled upon this YouTube clip of a fast food commercial from 1991, in which a young black man prances and traipses effeminately in front of a young black woman in a misguided effort to impress her. She just looks at him coldly and gets up and walks away from him as he literally lies prostrate at her feet. Examples like this in the media are so plentiful as to be almost blaise now.

Judy said (January 18, 2010):

Hi Henry! You must be weary of hearing from me. BUT sex, ho hum! If a woman doesn't come close to worshipping her man, she doesn't love him. Yes, radical, hate filled feminism has ruined the chances for both men and women to find complete personal fulfillment , the cosmic ecstasy of mutual orgasm. Wilhelm Reich tried to tell us this but his findings and teachings have been distorted out of all recognition. Such a pity!

Geoffrey said (January 18, 2010):

I would just like to thank you for posting your views for others to read. Before I found your site I walked around in life with about the same view points expressed on your site, but of course I have been shunned and looked upon as strange for my views by my peers.

I am now 20 with much the same mind set as when I was in high school and I am watching the rest of my friends slowly come to my understanding. All of my graduating class is either on heroin or too scared to go out in the world and make something of themselves. It's a tough world I have been brought into but I know that I am much tougher.

Peter said (January 18, 2010):

Surely, you want and most likely have been loved and love deeply by a woman. I'm confident that you have. Doesn't it feel wonderful. I think this is what the young man want for himself. Also, I think he wants to experience sex, too.

Doctor Makow, we are not made to be alone. We are made to form families, and live together for the rest of our lives. That is what the Catholic Church teaches any way. I am surely that if Father Melachi Martin is still alive, he would agree with me on this.

Doctor Makow, most of us did not take the vow of celebacy. We need one another.

Richard said (January 18, 2010):

ou mean Maslow was the authorized expert to insert (pardon the pun) "a man's source of self-esteem is his penis." into the Canon of Pyschiatry?

Few may remember this, but men of the generations born before the 1920's never measured themselves (no pun intended) by the girth of a few ounces of body part or even braun "Manhood" was measured by character: works, reputation. One such social measure of a man long forgotten now was evidenced by a sound marriage and provision for his family. As a matter of fact, men whose self esteem was below the belt were known to be either homosexuals, or else heterosexual 'mashers', 'heels', rapists, and any of the above were considered perverts.

Real men and women had zero tolerance for sexual predators in their communities and police and courts followed suit. On this point it's useful to note that in literature prior to the 60's the term 'prowess' didn't mean erectile function, it referred to ability in hunting, combat, and sport.

The doctrines of the psychiatric priesthood alone didn't make such things so in the minds of millions. The tissue of officially announcing a 'new normal' by the 'experts' gives the counterfeit social approval for advertising and public education to go to work with the job hammering it into the minds of the children. Once a country's version of the American Psychiatric Association has spoken, civil courts follow suit.

Case in point: once the APA struck homosexuality of it's list of behavioral disorders, courts all over the country struck down every state's long standing sodomy laws.

These seemingly separate social institutions that determine and disseminate social norms actually work together like a machine. The peak of humanist psychology's influence was waiting for the returning soldiers from WWII and the 1950's and 60's. That's precisely when Hefner's Playboy Philosophy was brainwashing normal American men, encouraging homosexual behaviors masquerading as heterosexual male normalcy. No wonder Playboy editors and writers loved modern psychology's reduction of everything in 'patriarchal society' proof of phallic fixation. So did the editors at COSMO and Ms.

I believe the world wars were essential to shifting male identity below the belt. Millions of teenage men of all nations were removed en mass from normal their normal communities to live in an all male nomadic society when they would have been beginning monogamous marriages and providing for their own family. In stead they were detoured to war among men and as they used to say, 'boys will be boys'. The majority of them had their first sexual experiences with prostitutes. Of course Maslow, Alfred Adler, Carl Rogers and the other Humanist Psychology Movement founders had anything to say about the social impact of that.

The two to four year experience of living in nomadic Lord of the Flies society of military camps de-sensitized them to soft core pornography in the form of pin-up posters and pornographic pulp fiction. Men of the previous generations never would have tolerated routinely bringing magazines like Playboy into the home, much less handing the magazines to their pubescent sons as the new counterfeit rite of passage to manhood.

Henry Makow received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto in 1982. He welcomes your comments at