The "Spy" Who Loved Jeff Rense
February 23, 2012
(left - Jeff and "Megan" in Oct. 2011)
On occasions he would become even colder than usual. He would stare at me intensely and accuse me of being a spy, sent to poison him.
(This is Part II of "Jeff Rense's Seventh* Ex-Wife Speaks Out." Part One is Here. )
"A psychopath always lets you down." (Reader comment)
I had never encountered anything like this before. I thought I had married Dr. Jekyll, and then found myself living with Mr. Hyde: the meanest, cruelest man I've ever known. I was mortified, in shock and afraid.
Unfortunately, I have no family. I was raised by a single parent alcoholic mother (who had died years ago.) We lived on social security since she had Addison's disease. She neglected my sister and I, and was often verbally abusive. I left home at 17, and was very poor, working minimum wage jobs until age 25.
I had big dreams though. I believed I was smart enough to win a full scholarship to a good college. I did, and continued on to get a PhD in physics from the top school in the world (Cal Tech). I had overcome a lot and did it on my own. But, now I was very much alone, and I didn't know what to do. My sister and I were no longer in contact.
I was being psychologically abused and called a domestic violence hotline. They had no help but to tell me to leave.
But, I had nowhere to go. I had no family. The intensity of my science career for the previous 15 years precluded me from forming a strong social network. I was completely alone, in a strange town with no car.
It was clear that most everything Jeff had promised in the emails and on the phone were lies. He promised love and affection, and privacy on the property. He promised I could raise the thermostat to 72 degrees in the winter. All of it was lies. He promised the house would be "ours" house and all decisions would be 50:50. Etc. etc.
He would not let me help him. I made food and at first he refused to eat it! I was preparing raw vegan fresh almond milk chocolate shakes, my specialty! They are healthy and delicious. He said he wouldn't have one because they were too fattening. (Jeff is a very skinny guy!).
Then he said it was not nutritious enough. Finally, he drank one. And loved it. He would say, "thank you" as I set the shake down next to him at his desk each morning - but would not even look up at me, or smile, or hug or kiss me. He thought "thank you" as he stared at the screen and worked 8-12 hours a day was enough to sustain me.
On occasions he would become even colder than the usual indifference. He would stare at me intensely and accuse me of being a spy, sent to poison him. [Jeff told me a story on the phone about a female admirer who had visited him and had poisoned him. He described the excruciating pain he had been in. Instead of leaving, she had taken an apartment in town and continued to stalk him. I warned him about what had happened to Philip Jones who was poisoned by a paramour. -HM]
He accused me of forcing him to get married - he said he never wanted to. He brought it up first, proposed to me over the intercom at the Atlanta airport! But after the marriage, he got very paranoid that we were legally bound. He didn't tell anyone about the marriage and insisted I keep mum. He wanted to get legally unmarried, while remaining in practice a married couple. [The relationship did not end until this last Tuesday Feb 21, 2012 when JR discovered Megan was my source of info. - HM]
He once raged at me for an hour for being closed minded about UFOs. He spent a full hour telling me I was basically inhuman because I was not as enamored with Mario Lanza as he was.
These two events happened in the first week. I was literally in shock, and just let him yell at me - it didn't make any sense. I quietly sat there as he went on and on...
"GOOD JEFF" -- "MEAN JEFF"
Eventually I would complain and say that I wanted to leave. The first time I threatened to leave, Jeff immediately changed back into the romantic, caring, loving man I had fallen for! I was so relieved to have him back! I was very happy with "Good Jeff" - we were great pals. We loved each other very much. "Good Jeff" is affectionate and listens if I have a valid complaint, and works out a solution.
I thought everything was okay, but after several hours, "Mean Jeff" would return. Often the act of sitting at his computer for so many hours would make him become very mean.
Incidentally, in our initial arrangements, he had promised to sell the website. He said he had a buyer and we would have plenty of time together. Both of us had very hard upbringings, and worked very hard in our jobs. We were ready to relax and enjoy life. Jeff was to continue his radio program - which I was a huge supporter of. I lay next to him on the floor, or would lay in our nearby bed during his programs and listen in on them.
I threatened to leave on perhaps seven occasions and all seven times this brought out "Good Jeff" - who did not want me to leave! I really didn't want to leave either - I had nowhere to go. I had no job;the economy was in the dumps, and I had just left a field that you don't just jump back into....
I wanted to live a happy life with "Good Jeff". I truly loved him more than any man in my life. I thought we could work through his personality issue. I thought I could change and he would be happier with me. I thought I could help change him.
Around the eighth time, he said, "OK, you leave". And he indeed forced me out of his home. I did not want to go. I promised I would stop crying (he was very annoyed that I would cry when he was mean) and I did! I was afraid to be on my own economically - I knew I wouldn't do well. I also was not feeling well physically, and the experience with Jeff was certainly breaking me psychologically.
MOVING OUT (BUT NOT ON)
Seven weeks after moving in, Jeff forced me to move into an apartment and cut me off financially. I began living off of my savings. However, he did not leave me alone! He emailed constantly, and when I would not answer, he would threaten to send the police to my apartment (presumably for a welfare check.)
The third time he did this, I went to the police and told them of the harassment. They said they would not come if Jeff called them.
February 18, 2011. I was completely alone and unemployed in a strange town where I knew nobody. I called local services asking for low cost domestic violence counselors, and found one in March. She was my only link to reality, my only "friend."
She validated my experiences. She told me about a local park where I could go for walks. She told me about the local women's shelter and support groups.
Between these resources, and my voracious downloading of books and surfing the internet (I am an intellectual - a big reader) in order to understand my situation, I came across Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
It fit Jeff perfectly. The books I read explained that although he was rejecting me, he would not actually leave me alone ever. This is exactly what happened.
If I was drifting too far away from him emotionally, Jeff would become very loving again! I was very hopeful that we would work things out and move back in together.
Then, after a wonderful weekend, or series of weeks - he would suddenly pull back and be cold. For no reason at all, he would announce that he didn't want to live with ANY woman.
He often lied to me to the point of "gaslighting" - telling me something happened that I just saw didn't happen.
He was nice and then mean. He would be very cruel if I started crying, and call me a "pathetic victim". He was extremely jealous. He didn't want me to meet any people or make any friends. He was unconcerned about my boredom and the emptiness of my life. He literally could feel no empathy for my situation. He felt no remorse for his role ... thought he was a wonderful guy.
Part Three - My Masochistic Marriage to Jeff Rense
** Rense was legally married seven times, and had one legally binding common law marriage and at least one fiancee, all of whom confirm the same story.
To learn more about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, watch this series by Thomas Sheridan;
and, to learn how to heal, Surviving a Narcissist
Kristine said (February 24, 2012):
it´s none of my business what you do. However ... I think you are taking this Jeff Rense thing too far. You are upset, you feel wronged, you want justice. But you won´t get satisfaction this way. Revenge is not the right answer, you just get on a treadmill and keep mulling over the same garbage over and over ad nauseum.
To be honest: I don´t think anybody else cares anymore about your personal vendetta with Jeff Rense. You shouldn´t either. You have your own reputation to think about and dragging him through the dirt doesn´t make you shine.
Write it all down and throw it away, trash it, trash him and leave it behind you. Wishing you more peace of mind,
After 12 years of writing about the same things, I am enjoying an exhilarating change of pace for a few days. JR's hysterical overreaction confirms he is sick.
I am sorry that many people do not have the patience or wit to appreciate the important issue at stake.
Jeff Rense has enormous influence in the "truth movement" but is a psychopath. I do not consider psychopath to be an acceptable norm.
He is a textbook case of Narcissist Personality Disorder. See Jeff Rense is "The Bachelor"
I can reveal anything about Barack Obama. But expose Rense, and
people act like little children whose parents are divorcing.
They want us to "stop fighting." The Illuminati have nothing to fear from this day nursery.
If this were a "personal vendetta," or a difference in principle, I wouldn't bother. Give me a little credit. My work is revealing useable truth about important people and issues. I won't always be right but my record has been pretty good.
Thanks to the many other readers who do appreciate what is at stake.
To Review, the Case Against Jeff Rense:
1. Earns $450K per annum, wastes it on extravagances, goes deep into debt and asks for charity donations from his readers. How is this different from TV evangelist quacks?
2. Censors legitimate conspiracy theories he doesn't like.
3. Cuts off legitimate researchers, including longtime associates and friends like me, for no good reason. Causes divisions. Adopts hysterical positions: "The Pacific has been destroyed as a food source."
4. Narcissist Behavior Disorder causes an array of pathological symptoms including lying, inability to countenance any criticism, acting like he is God etc. Insane overreaction -- calling me epitome of evil, banning me from the Internet confirms this diagnosis. (See Bachelor article.)
5. Married 7X, many reports of abusive relationships including Megan (#7). He married the woman but kept it secret from everyone he knew, including me; then kicked her out but wouldn't leave her alone, and continued to have sex. Exploits each women.
Conclusion: This man should not have the influence he does.
As for Rense's latest smears, I have been married for 12 years to a woman who is 39. I divorced the Filipina, my second marriage, in 2000. If I were ashamed of my behavior, I would not have documented it in a book, "A Long Way to Go for a Date." I am not the same man I was then. In Jeff's case, unfortunately, we are addressing his current state of mind.